How can we overcome the triggers that prevent us become better
Books / / December 19, 2019
Too often our good intentions to change for the better taper off in the early days of the "new life". If asked why, most replied that the cause of laziness and lack of willpower. But what if we underestimate the influence of another, much more powerful factor?
What are the triggers?
The signals that cause us to behave in a certain way. It is, in fact, do everything that reacts to people: other people, the environment, our thoughts, feelings and memories.
Triggers harm us?
Triggers themselves neither good nor bad in itself. Productive or unproductive, our reaction to them. We can use them as the harm and benefit.
What triggers are associated with the changes?
Trying to change, we tend to underestimate the power of triggers over us. Imagine what is going home after work, you suddenly feel hungry and alluring smell of pyshechnoy. So you buy a bun, though long promised myself go on a diet. Smell - the trigger that started in your response, in fact, harmful to you.
To cope with the impact of triggers need willpower?
We tend to overestimate their willpower. Scientific studies have shown an interesting fact. It turned out that willpower - exhaustible resource. If during the day you have to make a lot of decisions, by the end of the day you come Syndrome "ego depletion". Power reserve will be at zero, and you become very vulnerable to temptation.
But I know I can change
Not so simple. Most people know what to do, how and when. They well understand everything. But do not. many annoying motivational books and slogans promoting the effectiveness of the obvious ideas. But even knowing what to do, we continue to sit on the ground. A typical mistake people who are going to change, that they overestimate themselves and underestimate the influence of the environment.
Why is it so difficult to change?
Because it's really difficult. Surely you know this from personal experience. We look forward to will power, waiting for enlightenment or special days, to start, we believe that much more time to come. In addition, we are all great masters of excuses. Well, if we are making some changes, some believe that this can stop. We deceive ourselves. We do not want to admit that by nature inert.
That is, we are the main enemies for yourself?
One of the key ideas of the book is that the greatest danger for us - in the environment, which the author calls non-stop trigger, because it is constantly changing.
In some circumstances, we become one person, and in the other - the other. Our behavior - the result of environmental influences. And the worst environment for us - one that makes doing what we think wrong.
Often, those who benefits from it, specially created conditions in which we are acting against their own interests. For example, the casino and shopping centers.
So, if you do not change the environment, then you can not change?
This is not required. Recognition of environmental forces is a step towards change. When we carefully analyze the environment, then it becomes less vulnerable to triggers that provoke us to undesirable behavior.
In his book, Marshall Goldsmith talks about a fairly simple way to help change.
And what are the ways?
They are based on a simple and well-known idea. We can not choose the situations in which we find ourselves, but we can choose our response to them. Our task - to develop the correct responses to complex situations that provoke us to undesirable behavior.
How to develop the correct response?
First you need to analyze the situation in terms of four aspects: what do you want to bring new, you want to keep, get rid of what you want and what you need to take. Such an analysis - the key to a clear understanding of which is necessary to start the change.
Then we need to understand the "split personality" - the conflict between the internal head, those who change orders, and waiting for the results, and the performer, who are often faced with unexpected obstacles.
The strategy does not foresee obstacles and blames subordinates. And that is justified or feels guilty. like wise leaders, Our internal policies need to properly assess the needs and abilities of the internal slave and select the most appropriate leadership style.
And then we need to create positive triggers - learn to ask questions yourself active.
What is the active question?
This is an alternative to passive. Passive aimed at assessing the situation, the search for the perpetrators or to search for the causes.
This does not mean that they are bad. They help to find weak spots. But when it comes to our desire to changeWe need to ask ourselves questions active. These questions focus on what we can do to change things for the better.
An example of a passive issue: "As far as I was involved in work today?".
EXAMPLE active: "I try to do everything possible to be involved in the work today?".
When the answer to the first, we can begin to make excuses: "I interfered constant calls", "fit counterparts with silly questions."
The second question does not provide such an opportunity. It aims to evaluate our efforts. Focus shifts, and perhaps we will have to meet with not very pleasant truth about themselves.
But in this approach lies the beginning of the changes.
But as the questions become active positive trigger?
active issues task - to switch our attention to what is really in our power - our actions. They create another level of involvement. The system they use is simple, but must be regularly.
Choose what you want to change for a long time. Make a list of active issues related to this topic. And at the end of each day stamped himself points from 0 to 10 for their efforts.
This method makes us to evaluate the level of our efforts, we rarely do. It strengthens the enthusiasm, making clear progress.
That is all that is necessary for the changes - this regularly ask themselves active questions?
This is not the only one, but a key part. Active issues should become a support structure. As a shopping list saves you time and money, and active questions directed your attention to what you need. A clear structure helps solve the problem of depletion of the ego. It reduces the number of decisions, because we just follow the plan.
Usually we trust structure predictable action. But what if you enter into it unpredictable: gross sellers boors on the road, the wife, who is set to fall out, friends who persuaded a drink? It is in such moments we most need help.
And help comes in the form of simple questions?
Yes. Active questions to ask yourself every hour.
What you listen to a lecture closely: an ordinary or that, at the end of which you will be asked questions about the content? It is clear that the second.
So it is in everyday life. If performing any business, you will remember that when completed will ask yourself the questions in the spirit, "if I did everything possible to fulfill this business best? "," Did I do everything possible to find meaning in this lesson? ", it will give you the motivation to engage in work.
We become more responsible and attentive, because we know that will be checked.
The main active issue when you are facing a difficult situation, "Am I prepared today to make an effort to improve on this situation?".
The answer to it fills the pause between stimulus and response. This question - the active part of the awareness. It is a choice between helpful and harmful reaction.
And it's all?
To change, we must recognize the impact of triggers, pause between the signal and the response and come up with a series of active issues that will ask themselves on a regular basis throughout the day.
Is it all that simple?
As the author notes, it is simplicity and accessibility make it an effective tool. This method is easy to remember, which increases the likelihood that we will use it.
Should I read the book?
books are not new ideas. It is a mix of eastern practice of awareness, proactive thinking, elements of behaviorism, according to personal effectiveness, situational leadership councils.
In the book, a lot of repetitions, examples and stories from the life of the author and his friends / clients, which is typical for this genre of books.
Like any other book on personal performance, it does not fit the cynics and those who consider themselves the most intelligent.
However, the main advantage of the book - a clear and practice-oriented system. Once you learn about it, you will no longer excuses for inaction.
"Triggers. Habit-forming - tempers the character, "Marshall Goldsmith
Buy on Litres.ru