10 Strangest Nicknames for Kings in History

1. Harald I Bluetooth

Harald I was king of Norway and Denmark in the 10th century. He was distinguished by a disgusting condition of his teeth, which is why he was nicknamed Blue-toothed. Just Norwegians then used the word Blå to denote the concepts of "blue" and "dark", and it would be more correct to call the ruler Dark-toothed.

The nickname itself is not particularly outstanding - well, the king with rotten teeth ruled the harsh northerners, and what's wrong with that? That's just in honor of him received Name Bluetooth technology developed by the Swedish telecommunications company Ericsson.

The logic of Ericsson engineers was as follows: Harald I Blue-tooth united the peoples of Norway and Denmark. And this technology combines wireless communication protocols into a single universal standard for all devices. Let's call them the same!

The Bluetooth logo was made up of the overlay of the Scandinavian runes Hagalaz (ᚼ) and Berkana (ᛒ) - these are the initials of Harald. It is unlikely that the king could have imagined that in a thousand years a radio transmission protocol would be named after him.

2. Alfonso IX Wetbeard

Alfonso IX ruled León and Galicia from 1188 to 1230. He was not particularly remarkable in anything: he fought with the Arabs during the Reconquista, won the south-west of Spain from the Muslims, married his cousin Berengaria of Castile. Because of his relationship with a close relative, Pope Celestine III excommunicated him from the church. This, however, did not particularly upset the king.

Alfonso was remembered, first of all, not by military victories and conflicts with the holy father, but by his slobbering.

The king was quick-tempered and prone to fits of anger, and when he did not control himself, he sprayed saliva and dropped lumps of foam on his beard. For it's behind his eyes called Baboso, meaning "Wet Chin". But in person, of course, they politely called His Majesty Alfonso IX of Leon.

In general, it is dangerous to call kings names - they will cut off their heads, and remember their names.

3. Charles II the Bald

Charles II was king of France, Provence, Italy and emperor of the Frankish state in the 9th century. Had nickname "Bald". You can say - well, what's so special about it? Lysina - quite an ordinary feature of human appearance, there is nothing special to talk about.

But Karl, judging by the descriptions and surviving portraits, had thick hair. A nickname he received his as a joke from grateful courtiers. Well, just as sometimes a very tall man is called "Baby", and a skinny man is called "Big Man", so the hairy Charles II was dubbed Bald.

Such medieval humor.

4. Pepin Short

Pepin is a notable person in history because he was the first king of the Franks from the Carolingian dynasty and no less than the father of Charlemagne.

Nickname received due to low growth. In general, he was a rather tough king with a stern character: he suppressed many uprisings of vassals, defeated the tribes of recalcitrant Saxons, and also crowned himself twice. Well, just to be safe.

The first time he was anointed to the throne by Archbishop Boniface, but Pepin decided that this was somehow undignified. Therefore, he began a war with the Lombard tribe, which raided the lands of Pope Stephen II. In gratitude, he crowned him a second time - so that already for sure. And the ruler was finally able to sleep peacefully, making sure that now his power is definitely from God.

But, despite all the achievements, he was still remembered as Pepin the Short.

5. Constantine V Dung

Constantine V was the emperor of the Byzantine Empire in the middle of the 8th century. And he was a fanatical iconoclast: throughout his reign he committed raids on monasteries and destroyed images of saints, crosses and other religious symbols there.

Constantine was not an atheist: in those days, even the emperor could not afford to doubt the existence of the creator. On the contrary, the majesty was especially strong in faith and believed that the Lord was unknowable and incomprehensible. And all attempts to depict him on icons are heresy and an insult. This means that all church relics must be destroyed and addressed to God directly, without any pictures there.

Naturally, such radical views and actions of the emperor did not have much support from the population.

Therefore, Constantine V called Kopronymos — "dung beetle". The courtiers spread the rumor that Majesty, when he was a baby, at the time of baptism, crap himself right in the font and lost God's grace because of this. And that's why he grew up so strange.

6. Lugaid the Son of a Bitch

Semi-legendary 2nd-century king of Ireland Lugaid was stepson of another ruler with an original nickname - Ailil Rotten Ear. First he was expelled by his foster father, then returned to his native Ireland and seized power. He ruled for 30 years, was overthrown - in general, everything is like with people.

Lugaida's nickname, Mac Con, literally means "son of a dog." Among the ancient Irish, this was not an insult, but simply a neutral characteristic.

According to legend, the child of the king watered with the milk of a greyhound from his adoptive father's kennel to grow big and strong. Because of such an original choice of a wet nurse, the nickname Son of a Bitch stuck to Lugaid for life.

7. John Landless, Soft Sword

John the Landless was one of the most stupid rulers in the history of England. Could not cope with the attacking French king Philip II, almost lost the throne due to the uprising of his own barons, lost one after the other wars in which he got involved. In general, I collected all the bumps that I could.

In his youth, as the youngest son of Henry II, he did not receive land allotments in France. In England and Ireland, however, he still inherited the territories, but he still picked up the humiliating nickname Landless. And for military defeats was in addition named Softsword, or soft sword.

After John, his name began to be considered unlucky among the English kings, so the British have not called monarchs since then.

8. Frederick I the Bitten

Frederick I was the ruler of Meissen and Thuringia - territories in the east of the Holy Roman Empire, now Germany is located there. In general, his name was Frederick I the Brave, but he also had something else. nickname - Bitten.

He received it like this. Frederick was the son of Albert II the Wretched and Margaret of Sicily. His father liked to beat his wife - Middle Ages, no laws against domestic violence. And Margarita decided to run away from her husband.

But she did not want to part with her thirteen-year-old son so much that during a kiss on the cheek she bit Frederick I, leaving him a scar for life.

So the ruler of Meissen and Thuringia became known as Frederick I the Bitten.

9. Harald I the Fair-Haired

You could remember this stern warrior from the series "Vikings». In reality, Harald I became the first king of Norway, uniting the country under his rule.

How says in the Circle of the Earth sagas by Snorri Sturluson, he did it for the sake of the woman he fell in love with - Gida Eiriksdottir from Hordaland. The northerner refused the suitor, saying that she did not want to get involved with some petty king from Vestfold. And Harald decided to become nothing less than the king of all Norwegians, so that the ladies would love and respect the comrades-in-arms.

For added motivation, he decided not to wash, cut or comb his hair until he had his way.

Since the capture of all of Norway is clearly not a matter of a week, he looked the same. That is why the king received the nickname Shaggy.

When, ten years later, the conquest of Norway was crowned with success, Harald I finally washed, combed his hair and married Guide (in another translation - made a concubine, but then abandoned). And during the battles and campaigns, he grew such a chic head of hair that he became call Hairy.

True, by opinion some historians, Harald's nickname should be translated as "fair hair". That is, with some special aesthetic qualities, his hairstyle could not possessand he was just blond.

10. Æthelred II the Foolish

In English, the name of this king, who ruled England in the 10th century, spelled as Ethelred the Unready, which means Ethelred the Unready. In Russian sources, he is traditionally called Unreasonable. But still, it is more correct to translate his nickname as "Foolish Council".

The modern word ready has nothing to do with it: Old English had the noun unræd, meaning "bad plan or advice", "stupidity" or "rashness".

Why was the king called that? Maybe he did not listen to his assistants or made stupid decisions? No, nothing like that. Ethelred II was a completely normal monarch and did not allow any fantastic defeats.

Sat on the throne for 37 years -record for that time. True, once Ethelred was knocked out of his possessions by the Dane Sven I Forkbeard, but a year later the king regained control of his lands.

And the nickname Unræd first appeared in chronicles in the 1180s, 150 years after Æthelred's death. And the ruler did not know that he would someday be called the "Foolish Council."

Most likely, just another chronicler it seemed it's a good idea to make a pun describing the deeds of a monarch he has never seen: the name Æthelred means "Good Advice" in Old English.

To christen the king "Good stupid advice" is quite in the spirit of medieval humorists.