Most brutal book about parenting

What this book?

"Battle Hymn of the tiger-mother" - a book about how to raise their children Chinese women. Author of the book - Amy Chua - a graduate of Harvard University, a well-known and held scholar of Chinese origin. Her book - not a scientific work, a description of his life, philosophy, mistakes and achievements.

Many shocking described in the book of parenting practices, someone will call them even child abuse. But listen to the views of the author stands. Amy Chua notes that the Chinese mother - the concept of figurative, not necessarily be her nationality, the main thing - a method of education. Chinese women themselves may not be the Chinese mothers, because they bring up their children according to the Western model.

And how can raise Chinese mother tigress?

When American parents praise children at the slightest provocation, and without cause, the Chinese mother believes that praise must be earned. But the criticism they are not stingy.

They have high expectations about the future of children and a high opinion of their mental faculties. Chinese mother valued obedience above all else and with all his seeking. No independence and insubordination. These mothers always decide for themselves what is best for their children, and do not tolerate objections. Children should be fully obey their parents and not argue.

Only parents know what is best for the child, what and how much he will do.

No trips to the birthdays of other children - it's a waste of time. They never allow their children to spend the night at a party. Minimum of entertainment, and if they have fun, then the benefit. Upload a child almost around the clock useful things - the task of such a mother. Childhood is not given for entertainment, and for the preparation of the child for adult life.

And what this means?

The author points out that Chinese children honor their parents, do not represent that it is possible to argue with, rude, to go against. For them is unthinkable not to assist or support the elderly and sick parents. In addition, many Chinese students are far ahead of their peers from other countries on school subjects.

Whether connected rigid education with Chinese traditions?

Yes. Such a rigid upbringing in Chinese passed on from generation to generation. It is especially characteristic of immigrants, because in a foreign country it is necessary to start from scratch. The author believes that only hard work and will power will help to achieve something.

Amy Chua itself raised so harshly?

The author's parents moved to America, themselves all have, besides, they had four daughters (the youngest with Down syndrome). To live a better life and achieve something in a foreign country, they are constantly working and forced to work on a daughters. Seniors look after younger, learned only on excellent, graduated from prestigious universities.

Amy Chua own little "rebelled" - it did not come close to home to Stanford, I wanted her father, and went to the East Coast to Harvard. Another sister also went against the will of parents and he went to Harvard. At first the parents thought it a tragedy, but then, when the daughter of a PhD, is immensely proud of them.

After that, the author's parents have revised their views under the influence of the Western world and soften their demands. They even stood on the side of the granddaughters, Amy Chua excessively pressed on girls.

What is important for the Chinese mother's tuition?

Chinese mother believes that children should learn only perfectly well. Even 5-minus - it is a bad score.

Chinese parents believe that it is not dealt with education, if their children do not excel in school, unless they are the best students in the class.

The only indulgence - you can not be an excellent student in physical education and drama. In mathematics, the need to stay ahead of my classmates on two head forward. If the child has a conflict with a teacher or coach, the Chinese mother always takes the side of the latter. The child must bow to adult authority.

But is it so adults do not break the child's mind and not grow resignation people?

Chinese mothers do not believe that such education they break the children. On the contrary, in their understanding, they temper the character and prepare to difficulties. In adult life, there are ups and downs, and the child, which is so pressed and taught resistance, can withstand around.

And in addition to studying the child may be engaged in something?

Extra-curricular activities are not encouraged to kids gave all the time learning. But you can do something alone. In this lesson, you must be better to have a gold medal, receiving first place in a competition.

Their daughters author gave the piano and violin. Girls involved in music and on my birthday, and during the illness (on tablets and antipyretics). Even necessarily have to deal with for a few hours on vacation. If you fiddle with them could carry, the piano found in hotels, monasteries, libraries, restaurants, shops. Anything to get ahead of the other children and to show the highest result.

Once a tigress mother communicates to the children?

To achieve its goals, and the child's mother may offend, humiliate, threaten, blackmail. It is not considered to be something out of the ordinary.

Chinese mothers do not rush to the self-esteem of children and do not survive as a child feels.

Chinese parents believe that their children have enough power to survive the humiliation and become better. In their view, the worst thing they can do - is give up and do not push. Therefore, they show the child all the methods that he can do what he thought he was not capable. Chinese parents believe that the only way the best way to prepare children for the future. Equipping them with the skills, work habits and confidence that they can do something that no one else is able to.

As the Chinese women cope with the vagaries and the awkward age?

If Chinese children begin to act up, indignant, to defend their rights, the Chinese mother believes that it is handled with education and begins to "educate" with the double or even a triple force. Children usually give up and obey his motherThey begin to follow the instructions.

However, in his book Amy Chua says that her youngest daughter did not give up. For a long time they lived in a state of war. Eventually, the two concessions. The author believes that this was due to the fact that they lived in America, where it is not hard to stand out from the the crowd, and the children look at their peers and want the same breaks: walking, going to the movies and so Further. In China, most brought by the Chinese model, and therefore fewer teenage rebellion.

Which in the end the parents expect from children?

Chinese parents believe that children in debt In front of them. Parents are children spend grueling hours with them for their studies, competitions, concerts, controlling every step and every action, so expect the children to the end of life will return the debt, even if it destroys them a life.

In China, it is inconceivable that the elderly and sick parents did not live with children or in nursing homes. Even if children do not allow housing, they still take their parents to him. Otherwise, they are waiting for an indelible disgrace.

Amy Chua has found something useful in the Western education?

Despite the fact that the author criticizes American education, in the education of the younger daughter, she used some aspects of the Westerners. She allowed her daughter to choose than the one she wants to do (and does not specify what should be), became less interfere in the process, allowing itself to control her daughter, how many hours you need to deal with (and not herself standing with a stopwatch), who choose trainer.

What conclusion does the author?

The author believes that the freedom in education too spoiled children: they are not able to work and achieve the objectives shall be at the slightest failure and do not use their capacity by 100%. In order to achieve something great, you need to step over themselves, to work at full capacity.

Should I read this book?

Author of the book - a Chinese woman, a successful lawyer, a professor at Yale University, a mother of two talented girls. She honestly and without prevarication tells how to raise their children in accordance with the traditional Chinese values, the difficulties encountered, some progress has been achieved and what has been achieved did not have.

His sometimes shocking book Amy Chua recalled that only hard work leads to success, and just does nothing.

Throughout the book there is a slow transformation of the understanding of the author: not all children works the system of education. Eldest daughter everything turned out, and the younger rebelled, and everything came to open hatred. The book is worth reading clearly, to understand what "terrible" professional music (and Professional sports), and think a hundred times, if you are ready and your child to make such sacrifices to achieve success. Despite some shocking moments like exhibiting naked child in the cold, parents should take more into service.

For example, the situation when children start to do something and, faced with the first difficulties, throw. Parents believe that if a child does not want, then you need to continue looking for what he want to engage. But it is possible that it is what he wants to do so over time, begin to regret that he left. In this situation it is necessary to insist that the child continued to engage and overcome the barriers of time difficulties. And by going to the next level, the child will be very happy and proud to be achieved.

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