5 motivational tips that make us miserable

We all want to change for the better and change their lives. In this we are trying to help a great many useful articles, books, and even for the development of specific courses. All of them are on a different footing offer us, in general, the same tips and techniques. But life rarely fits into the scheme of books, and often blindly following these techniques leads to the opposite result. We want to introduce you to several common motivating attitudes that can make you miserable.

1. Your life will be what you imagine it

This is a favorite commandment various coachers. "To achieve the goal, it must be clearly present in my mind, it is necessary to fully penetrate it, we must live and sleep with her in the head!".

Oh yeah! You screwed up his eyes and clear to the last rivet, presented its future yacht and a house in the Caribbean. We draw them on a large poster and hung over the bed. And... and nothing happens. The day gives way to day, and yacht and remains in the head, and the house in the photo. You quietly hate himself and his miserable life.

It is because you believe in the myth that life should be what you want, instead, to accept life as it is. There is nothing wrong in setting goals for the future and move toward him. But your life is happening now. Find a way to enjoy it now. You can not hate the present and postpone happiness for the future.

2. We have to be happy all the time

We are taught from all sides to be happy (yes, I know that in this article I'm doing the same thing :). We try to inspire, that happiness - it is a normal human natural state, and if you do not feel it, it is clearly to you that something is wrong.

The reality is that happiness - it is rather a fleeting feeling, like all emotions. We can feel the satisfaction, peace of mind, but the happiness in everyone's life - something quite rare. I wish you a wonderful feeling to experience this more often, but do not fall under the pressure of new-fangled theories that without happiness your life is miserable.

3. Life - it is a direct uplink

This myth tells us that we must always progress. Onward and upward, not a step back. If this exercise you have run five kilometers, the next should be six. If this month you will have earned a thousand, then the next blood from the nose should be two. Meanwhile, such an approach to life does not leave us the chance to make a mistake, illness or simple relaxation. The slightest glitch with rising straight perceived as the collapse of life and makes us unhappy.

Try to replace the straight-line model of progress in his head on the spiral. Very often, in spite of all the efforts we make a circle and is almost at the same place, where they began. Do not get mad at myself for it and start a new round.

4. Resistance - is the best way to overcome the crisis

If you need to solve the problem, then, of course, you must gather all their strength and overcome the obstacles encountered. Perfectly natural and right approach, is not it?

Stop. Not so simple.

Sometimes confrontation only drains your energy and reduces the ability to solve problems effectively. There are situations when it is better to assess the situation, and do not shove ahead in spite of the circumstances. It's like crossing the river: it is possible to swim with the current, virtually no expenditure of energy, and you can swim against the waves and drowned heroically in the middle.

Confrontation - this is a very natural human reaction, but sometimes it is not the best solution. Learn how to safely take the good and bad in our lives sometimes much wiser.

5. You become happy when ...

This is very common internal installation, which explains why you do not get pleasure out of life right now. Simply you are missing something very important. Here comes this glorious moment, that was then, and begin to live!

"When I retire, my life will be much better." Fine. A friend of mine retired and died a few months later. What a pity. Poor man, he dreamed of this moment.

"My life will be relaxed and happy when I get more money." May be. How much more? You will be able to calm down and stop or stretch this "more" is still an order of magnitude?

Do not delay your life later. Have fun now. And when it's a mythical "later", you'll get double the fun :).