The 10 Most Stressful Events in Life and How to Cope with Them
Miscellaneous / / April 16, 2023
Simple tips that will help you find strength in yourself even in the darkest times.
1. Death of a loved one
When we lose loved ones, we are overcome by a catastrophic wave of emotions. Finding a foothold in a world where there is no longer a loved one becomes incredibly difficult, and our lives are forever changing dramatically.
How to cope
Grieving is a very complex process, and it proceeds differently for everyone. But in any case, to cope with the loss, you must remain patient, as well as show understanding and compassion for yourself.
Elena Kotova
Psychologist.
Loss is a huge grief, and it must be experienced. There is no “correct” way to grieve. Someone during the period of grief mobilizes resources, looks cheerful, somewhere even jokes, but someone is paralyzed by grief, does not allow them to function normally.
Try to stick to your usual routine (eating, sleeping, being active, taking necessary medications), but don't immerse yourself in work, school, or any other activity. You can and should be distracted, but not as if you are running away from grief.
Remember that you don't have to bear the brunt of this situation alone. Do not be afraid to ask for support from loved ones, call the hotline psychological help or contact a specialist.
Find out more😢
- 5 myths about grief that prevent you from recovering from loss
2. Divorce or breakup
When a relationship ends, we experience a veritable cocktail of emotions: shock, disappointment, helplessness, guilt, betrayal, and heartbreak. Coping with such internal chaos can be quite difficult.
How to cope
Getting over a breakup takes time and patience. They are needed to come to terms with the collapse of plans for the future, the lack of stability and predictability of life.
Elena Kotova
Divorce or separation is a loss. The former partner, most likely, closed some of your need, which means that this need will be open for some time, and this is normal. This person occupied a significant part of your life, and his absence will be noticeable.
Wherein not worth it immediately start a new relationship. Try to shift the focus of attention to yourself: remember what you loved before, listen to your desires and start to recognize yourself again. Gradually, the pain will subside and you will return to normal.
Take note💔
- 6 things to remember when starting a new relationship after a painful breakup
3. moving
This is a major change, and we tend to beware change, because often the new is something incomprehensible, something that causes anxiety. And if you move to another city or another country, then this also means a break in your usual social ties.
How to cope
The first thing that “crumbles” after moving is the usual routine. Therefore, it is important to make an effort on yourself and return to your normal routine as soon as possible: maintain sleep patterns, eat right, stay active.
Elena Kotova
Give yourself time to adapt. It is important for you to adapt and get used to a new place, recover and solve everyday issues. This is especially true when moving to another country, when even everyday activities - like going to the store - can be difficult and take more energy than before.
Maintain social contacts at a distance and make new ones acquaintance, as much as possible. If the move was forced, occurred due to unpleasant events, or greatly worsened the quality of life, then you should contact a psychologist.
4. Serious illness or injury
Health problems affect us in many ways, from anxiety about not being able to work to fear about the future and discomfort at the fact that now we will have to rely on others even in the most everyday things.
How to cope
It all depends on what kind of illness or injury you are facing. Sometimes after recovery it turns out to return to the usual everyday life, and sometimes the disease leaves its mark for the rest of his life, especially when it comes to the most terrible development of events - a fatal diagnosis.
Elena Kotova
No one is to blame for getting sick - illnesses are not chosen. Of course, health is partly under our control. But we cannot influence some processes, and this must be accepted.
When treating or recovering, it is very important to establish contact with a doctor. Ask questions, discuss anything that worries you, follow the recommendations and be sure to clarify the full picture - perhaps your ideas about life during illness and after recovery do not correspond to reality at all.
Another way a little alleviate your emotional state - talk to people with the same diagnosis or read their stories. And if you understand that you cannot cope on your own, it is better to contact a psychologist.
5. Caring for an elderly or sick family member
This is not only physically, but also emotionally exhausting process. Sometimes it takes a whole day and turns into a second job - very hard, nervous and without days off. Especially if the disease is incurable or there is no clear understanding of when the ward will return to normal life. In such circumstances time does not remain to be engaged at all.
How to cope
Use any available help. There is no need to shame yourself for wanting to hire a nurse or resort to the services of a good boarding house, if possible. Of course, this is a personal choice that everyone makes for himself. But if you can transfer a loved one into the hands of qualified professionals, you should not rule out such a development.
Elena Kotova
This is exactly the situation when you first need to put on an oxygen mask on yourself. If you bring yourself to burnout, the whole structure will collapse. Therefore, in the first place should be taking care of yourself, and only then about the ward.
Save to bookmarks😑
- How to care for a loved one who has lost their health
6. job loss
In modern society, this is perceived almost as a loss of personality, because one of the first questions that we hear when we meet is “Where do you work?”. In addition, the loss of a source of income deprives us of the opportunity to support ourselves and our families. It makes the future even more indefinite, increases self-doubt and develops complexes.
How to cope
The loss of a job is precisely a loss, and it also needs to be “burned out”, like any other. At the same time, it is also worth trying to reduce the intensity of experiences in a way that suits you. You can use something that calms you, such as doing breathing exercises, or discussing what happened and sharing experiences with loved ones.
Elena Kotova
Remember that you are more than just a job. You are a whole person, and the fact that you lost your job does not say anything about you as a person, everything is fine with you. If the situation is critical, and the financial obligations are large, try not to make serious decisions from a point of acute stress and panic.
Make a step by step plan for job search. First, evaluate your financial situation and determine how long you can comfortably live without employment. Then think about what you want from the new place, how it should be. Finally, update your resume with portfolio and get down to business.
7. Marriage or marriage
Of course, this is a rather pleasant kind of stress. At the same time, you need to get used to family life: living together, a new level of expectations and responsibility - all that it means to be part of a married couple.
How to cope
Much depends on the context and lifestyle of partners. Some people may not have an adjustment period. For others, on the contrary, a lot of things change and the adaptation period is delayed - for example, when a couple is coming After the wedding only.
Elena Kotova
Monitor your feelings and talk with your loved one. When difficulties arise, they can always be discussed and a joint solution can be reached.
8. Financial Solutions
Serious financial obligations, such as a mortgage, can cause feelings of fear and self-doubt. In addition, when we make such important financial decisions, we can feel as if we are forever tied to our current place of work. This is enough for sleepless nights.
How to cope
Try to assess as objectively as possible all the possible risks associated with financial decisions and draw up a detailed action plan for different scenarios. This way you will feel much calmer.
Elena Kotova
Write down all the fears you have. Then assess the likelihood that this could happen and make a plan for how to deal with it.
For example, you are worried that you will lose your earnings and will not be able to pay off the loan. First, tell yourself that the probability of this is very small, because there are no prerequisites for this, and besides, you good employee. But if this does happen, you can take money from the "airbag", borrow from loved ones or resolve the situation in another way available to you.
9. Retirement
This is not only a new life stage, but also a significant personal change. That is why approaching retirement age can be frustrating and even scary.
How to cope
Look at this period from a different angle. Retirement at all does not mean the end of a busy life. There are government programs, such as Moscow Longevity, which offer pensioners interesting leisure activities. Study this question and find an option to diversify the freed weekdays.
Elena Kotova
Relax, think about what is important and valuable to you, remember the things that you would like to do. Perhaps you've always wanted to try something new, a hobby or a sport, but you just couldn't. Do not forget about health - stay active, make friends.
10. traumatic event
It is any circumstance that makes us acutely aware of our helplessness. For example, a natural disaster like earthquakes or experienced violence.
How to cope
The best way to get over the trauma and return to normal life is to work through the situation with a specialist. For example try DDG - a method of psychotherapy in which eye movements, patting or rhythmic sounds are used to overcome the conditions caused by traumatic events.
Elena Kotova
The most important thing is to take care of your safety and get the help you need. We are not helpless, but we are not omnipotent either. There are quite a few things in the world that are out of your control, and that's okay.
No matter what stressful event you are facing, your priority should be to self care - no one will do it for you. Do not run away from your fears and do not be afraid to contact a psychologist. Thanks to the work on yourself, the support of loved ones and the help of a specialist, you can regain your life and even make it better.
Read also🧐
- What is stress and why is it dangerous?
- How to lower cortisol levels to live longer and better
- How to get back to life after prolonged stress