How to tell a child that Santa Claus does not exist
Miscellaneous / / April 03, 2023
The main rule is not to say anything until you are asked.
Everyone prepares for the New Year in different ways. Children write letters to Santa Claus and look forward to a miracle. Adults try to quietly put gifts under the Christmas tree or order a suit with a false beard in time to transform into a New Year's wizard and hand them over personally.
But as they grow older, the child begins to ask more and more questions about Santa Claus. And parents are faced with a choice: to keep the magic as long as possible and wait for the children to find out about everything on their own, or to tell the truth. If you choose the second option, here are a few important things to keep in mind.
When to tell the truth about Santa Claus
Definitely not in the period when the child goes to kindergarten. He can tell the rest of the children about the fact that Santa Claus does not exist, and even ruin the New Year's party. In addition, at a younger age, it is even useful for children to believe in a fairy tale. Psychologists
considerthat it helps cognitive and emotional development, such as teaching think outside the box.Elena Kotova
Psychologist.
There is no certain age when you need to talk about Santa Claus. Much depends on the child and his environment. Usually children ask questions and question the existence of Santa Claus in elementary school.
An international study led by psychology professor Chris Boyle of the University of Exeter showedthat, on average, children stop believing in Santa Claus at the age of 8.
At 6-7 years old, a child may hear from his friends or acquaintances that Santa Claus does not exist, and, without going into details, ask his parents to confirm that the wizard will still bring gifts to New Year. By the age of 10 or 11, children are usually don't believe into a fairy-tale character, as they become more conscious.
Nevertheless, psychologists advise starting a conversation only when a son or daughter has doubts and suspicions. If the child comes with direct question is a signal that the time has come.
How to tell the truth about Santa Claus
Create the right atmosphere
If a child asks questions in the middle of a shopping mall, this does not mean that you need to tell the whole truth immediately. Promise that you will talk at home, and keep your word.
Try to create a comfortable environment for conversation: choose the most comfortable room, make tea with delicious cookies, and put your phone on silent so that nothing distracts you.
Find out the reason for the doubt
Perhaps the child heard something at school or kindergarten and wants to get more information. Or he had logical questions about the existence of Santa Claus, based on personal observations. Ask your son or daughter what is the reason for the curiosity and what exactly he or she is worried about. Understanding why the child doubts will help to build the conversation correctly.
Monitor your child's emotions
It is important to consider with what feelings the son or daughter asks questions and how he reacts to the information received. Does the child yearn to know the truth or doubts that he needs it?
Elena Kotova
Ending the story abruptly can be quite cruel, so it's worth trying softer options. Time will pass, the child will grow up, collect arguments for and against, and in the end he will decide whether to believe in the New Year's wizard or not.
If you see that children are worried or afraid to find out the truth, it is worth connecting physical contact, for example hug, pat on the head.
Let your child draw their own conclusions
If children like to solve puzzles, let them ask questions, and you try to answer in such a way that they themselves come to the correct conclusions.
For example, to the phrase "Santa Claus does not exist, right?" you can say: “What do you (yourself) think?” Or the child asks: “How does Santa Claus manage to deliver gifts to everyone in just one night?” - and in response you are interested: “Do you think this is Maybe?"
Remember the character's history
It is believed that the prototype of the modern Santa Claus became a young man named Nicholas, who lived in the III-IV centuries in the Roman province of Lycia. When his parents died, he distributed all his huge inheritance to the poor and immediately became a priest, and then a bishop. Nevertheless, he continued to help those in trouble and show generosity and kindness to others, and secretly. For this he was loved and respected.
Tell your child about St. Nicholas and explain that even if Santa Claus does not exist, this story is not fiction at all.
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- “You need to do what lights you up”: New Year's interview with Santa Claus
Be honest and sincere
Talking about Santa Claus is a good occasion to discuss personal beliefs and family values. Ask the child what exactly the wizard symbolizes for him. Share your thoughts on what this image means to you and what you believe in. Talk about how our beliefs and beliefs affect the real world around us.
Start new traditions
Keep the spirit of the holiday and explain to the child that Santa Claus is not just a magician who makes children happy on New Year's Eve. This is the epitome of generosity kindness and concern for others. And everyone can become Santa Claus.
It is this idea used Texas teacher Leslie Rush. When her son was about 7 years old and having doubts, she told him that he must have heard from friends that Santa Claus does not exist. But that only means they're not ready to be wizards yet, and he's old enough to be Santa Claus.
Leslie entrusted her son with a "secret mission": to choose a person, find out what kind of gift he would like to receive, and discreetly give it. The boy chose a neighbor whom everyone called behind his back witch. One day, he noticed that she was picking up the morning paper barefoot, and decided to give her slippers. When Christmas came, the boy closely watched the reaction of the neighbor. She took the gift home, and the next morning she went out for a newspaper in those same slippers.
According to Leslie, the son was incredibly happy. Since then, he has become a Secret Santa more than once and helped his mother tell "the whole truth" to his younger brother. The boys did not feel cheated at all, because they were revealed the secret of how to become the main New Year's character on their own.
Valuable life lessontaught by the image of Santa Claus or Santa Claus is that it is not necessary to be a magician to create a miracle around you. It is enough to show sensitivity and attentiveness towards others.
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