Why questions about money cause discomfort and how to answer them
Miscellaneous / / June 22, 2022
Any answer is good if you've worked through your annoyance.
Why Asking About Money Is Uncomfortable
Before talking about how to answer uncomfortable questions, you need to understand why they, in fact, deliver unpleasant feelings.
It is believed that discussions of finances violate the rules of etiquette. About the amount of earnings is appropriate to ask only at interviews or in a very narrow circle. And if a person wants, he will tell. Some studies show that people more comfortableWhy So Many Americans Don't Talk About Money / The Atlantic talk about sex, mental health and addictions than about money.
But if you look at it, income and other financial information is just data. They become inconvenient due to the fact that society invests in them. This is primarily due to the fear of evaluation.
A story about money is most often emotionally charged. If a person shares information - boasts. If he says that he earns little, then he is not talented and purposeful enough. A lot - this is how much they pay him? For what? Moreover, it is not clear what “a lot” and “little” means to the interlocutor. There are a lot of evaluation options. And you never know what the interlocutor will think, there is always a risk of encountering negativity. It's easier to say nothing at all.
But because of these expectations, discomfort appears even at the stage of the beginning of the conversation. When someone asks about finances, we begin to feel uncomfortable and angry at the person because he puts us in an unpleasant situation, or we fall into a stupor: what to say? And therefore, no matter how witty, delicate and resourceful you find answers, the sediment will still remain.
If you have a strong negative reaction to questions about money, think about what exactly triggers you. Because all the people who ask this, you will not change. But you can work on yourself and let tactless questions go past your ears without responding emotionally to them.
How to respond to questions about money
No matter how you feel about them, you still need to answer them somehow. Choose a strategy to your taste.
answer the truth
If you have nothing to hide and you can safely name numbers and highlight facts, do it. Sometimes people are shy, thinking that they will put the interlocutor in an uncomfortable position. For example, someone is asked how much he spent on travel. It seems to be possible to answer, but suddenly a person will be upset because he cannot afford the same vacation.
But, by and large, this is not your problem. You didn't start this conversation.
Ask why the interlocutor needs this information
Perhaps a person is interested not so much in the state of your finances as in control figures. Suppose his child enters a university to study your specialty. And the parent is trying to figure out how much it perspective job. In this case, the answer can be chosen more relevant. For example, talk about the state of affairs in the industry. This will be even more useful than your specific income.
If the interlocutor asks how much your apartment cost, he does not necessarily want to know how much money you have. Maybe he's eyeing the market. Again, a more complete answer would be more meaningful.
As a result, the conversation will come out quite comfortable, because your borders Initially, no one in general encroached.
laugh it off
You can prepare a couple of on-duty answers for this case. For example, “I feel like I’m in an interview with Dud *!” (* recognized as a foreign agent). But you need to be prepared that attempts to laugh it off do not always block an unpleasant conversation. The interlocutor may decide that you are good-natured and continue asking questions.
Indicate unwillingness to answer the question
In general, the phrase “I don’t want to talk about it” should be enough to stop the conversation. No means no.
Get away from the answer
Often people, asking about money, simply set the topic for conversation. If you answer vaguely, no one will shine a lamp in the eye and knock out details. So you can just get off with common phrases. For example, a dialogue might look like this: “How much do you earn? “Enough for life” or “And how much is your apartment? - Market average.
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