5 important questions that will help you find your happiness

If you write "the secret of happiness" in the search bar, Google will return more than four million results. Obviously, this topic is of interest to many. And it would be nice if there was one simple universal answer to the question of how to become happy. But the main problem is that happiness looks different for everyone.

Psychology professor Andrea Bonior identifies two types of happiness: hedonic and eudaimonic. Each of them is important in its own way. “Hedonic happiness lies in pleasure, in that which makes you feel good. This, for example, is the joy when you eat your favorite dish, the expert explains. - Eudaimonic happiness is associated with a deeper sense of satisfaction. It's the feeling of being connected to what's really important to you, even if it's not always fun things."

According to Andrea Bonior, hedonic happiness matters for feeling joy in the moment, and eudaimonic happiness is a key element of long-term satisfaction. Be happy absolutely always impossible, life will still make its not the most pleasant adjustments. However, eudaimonic happiness gives a deep feeling that remains with a person even in difficult periods.

Most likely, you already guess what brings you hedonic happiness. Maybe it's a 30-minute workout or a delicious dinner with a partner at your favorite restaurant. But with eudaimonic happiness, everything is much more complicated. To find it, Andrea Bonior advises honestly answering five questions.

1. What would you do on a completely free day?

“Eudaimonic happiness is about finding your values ​​and figuring out how to make them part of your day,” says the expert. And the first question will help you with this.

Imagine a day off when you woke up rested, and that's it. housework already redone. How will you spend it?

For some, the ideal pastime is to sit in a cozy cafe with a book and the phone turned off. Some people want adventure, like going on a hike. Someone prefers to be alone, but for someone it is important to surround yourself with good company.

Andrea Bonior advises paying close attention to the aspects of your perfect day that mean something to you. Let's say you imagine drinking coffee with pleasure. Why is this ritual so important to you? Perhaps because it helps to slow down and enjoy the moment?

Once you have found your values, think about other ways you can incorporate them into your life. For example, going to a cafe near work for lunch, turning off the sound on your phone and enjoying what is happening here and now.

Of course, spending every minute of every day in accordance with your values ​​will not work. Nevertheless, you are quite capable of adding pieces of your ideal life to your usual routine.

2. How would you like to see a summary of your life?

This is not the most pleasant question, but think about what you would like to see in your obituary. Andrea Bonior is confident that the answer will allow us to see the bigger picture.

We are so immersed in everyday activities that we forget to stop and remind ourselves of the most important things. Do you want to be remembered as a caring parent? Good friend? A person who helped those in need?

If the way you're spending your time right now doesn't fit with what you want to leave behind, it's time to make a change. You don't have to start with something big. Perhaps you just need to spend more time with friends, focus on family, or volunteer at a shelter. Any change starts with small steps towards a goal.

3. What are you willing to devote your time to?

The reality is that we often have to spend it on things that we don’t want to do at all. Think about what things you are willing to devote your time to, even when you are overwhelmed.

“This question helps to find activities that allow you to enter the flow - a state when we are completely absorbed in something and do not notice how time passes. Your energy is not infinite. As soon as you determine what you spend it on, you can find your priorities, ”says Andrea Bonior.

4. What activities at work make you forget about everything?

Spending time in the flow when you are not watching the clock is important not only in moments of relaxation. Considering how much we work, at least a small part of our profession should give us the opportunity to immerse ourselves in this state. According to Andrea Bonior, being in the flow helps to be more included in your life.

Ask yourself: “What kind of work tasks do I immerse myself in?” If the answer to this question is no, then you are rarely or never in the stream at work. In this case, it seems that we should think about changes in career.

5. What kind of people do you imagine when you hear the word "love"?

Andrea Bonior notes that it is extremely important not only to think about the people who bring you joy, but also to actively care for relationships with them. «Loneliness It has a huge impact on both mental and physical health. And shortens lifespan. Yes, relationships are so important, ”the psychologist emphasizes.

We usually spend different amounts of time with different people. Think about how much time you would like to spend with your loved ones. “I like to compare social connections to plants: some flowers need a lot of sun to grow, and some can do without it. You need to find what is right for you,” adds the expert.

There is no universal picture of happiness. But these five questions will help you put your puzzle together. The psychologist advises to go back and re-respond to them every time you are unhappy with your life. Most likely, this sensation will be associated with one of the answers. And perhaps, thanks to these questions and answers, you will understand that happiness is not so elusive as it seems.