5 ethical ways to use people to achieve your goals

You have probably heard more than once that depending on someone else's opinion is bad: it limits you and does not allow you to live as you want. This is partly true, but not at all to look back at others is a mission from the category of impossible. At least, if you live in a society, and have not dug in a forest far from civilization.

But this bug of the psyche "What will people think?" you can wrap yourself up to your advantage. This is how social motivation works: we act and achieve our goal because others inspire or keep us in good shape. There are several ways to start this mechanism.

1. Find yourself a competitor

Most likely, you already have it. This is a person who does almost the same thing as you, and is as good as you, and sometimes even better. It might make you nervous get angry and you are jealous, and you can't get away from these feelings. But there is more benefit from fair competition than harm.

You can learn from a competitor

It's not about mindlessly and impudently copying what someone else has invented. And about the fact that you can learn the principles, be inspired and do something of your own. Let's say your opponent has created a great website for themselves. You can mark which solutions you like best and add something similar - but not identical - to your page.

The competitor does not let you relax

His success is a great motivator to move forward, constantly come up with something new, and work hard. Yes, it can be terribly annoying, but it brings results.

Competitor helps to see how not to do

Strangers failures also provide food for thought. Especially if you do not gloat, but analyze mistakes and try to avoid the same situations.

You can bet with a competitor

Official or unspoken. Set yourself a goal to develop the same skills, achieve the same position, or achieve the same income growth. Anger and competitive spirit will not let you relax and help you get things done.

True, this approach has its drawbacks. If a person is depressed because of failures or just going through hard times, focusing on other people's successes can finally finish. And if the only reason to work and develop is to wipe your opponent's nose, then you will quickly burn out. The longest lasting and deepest motivation is internal: the desire to do something important and meaningful, to get satisfaction from work, to realize one's principles and values.

2. Search for like-minded people

The support group helpsHow do Small Groups Promote Behavior Change? An Integrative Conceptual Review of Explanatory Mechanisms achieve your goals, form good habits, get rid of bad ones. This feature has long been used by psychologists, educators, HR specialists, for example, in programs to get rid of addictions, group marathons, team building.

If there are people nearby who are looking in the same direction with you, can share experiences and news, console in case of failure - this inspires, supports and gives strength. Here are a couple of ideas on how to find or organize your own team of like-minded people.

Communicate in thematic groups and chats

Whatever you do - business, creativity, foreign languages ​​- in such communities you can find interesting advice, ask questions, learn about someone else's experience or share your own.

Take part in marathons and challenges

They are also for every taste: sports, creative, financial and not only. The bottom line is to achieve some results in a limited period of time: lose weight, learn better paint or write to increase your earnings. Other people participate in the program with you - sometimes quite a bit, and sometimes several dozen or even hundreds. This does not allow you to relax: it is a shame to leave the race in front of everyone. In addition, the participants in the challenge support each other and may eventually become friends or a team of like-minded people.

Just be careful: do not get fooled by any esotericism like fulfilling desires and sending requests to the Universe. Read reviews, especially if the marathon is paid.

Join a mastermind group

This is a small and close-knit team, each person in which is working towards his own goal, but everyone supports and motivates each other. Participants meet once a month (sometimes more or less often) and discuss successes, failures, difficulties, questions that have arisen over the past time. In between meetings, people communicate in chats.

In Russia and the CIS countries, the mastermind format is not very common, so it is not easy to find them. It is often necessary to pay membership fees for the fact that the leader takes on organizational matters, disciplines the participants, and moderates meetings. But if you fail to find such a group, you can create your own. If you find interesting and motivated people in thematic communities, at marathons or professional conferences, try to introduce them and offer to unite.

3. Make a declaration

It's kind of like a public commitment. You announce that from such and such a date stop smoking, plan to lose 10 extra pounds in six months or double your income. When you have a crowd of spectators, it will not be so easy for you to quit.

The goals can be anything. A promise can be made to a wide audience (on social networks) or to a narrow circle of people (family, friends). The first option is generally more effective: loved ones more often give us concessions. But the second will suit someone if excessive publicity scares and demotivates.

4. Find a mentor

That is, a person who will in one way or another control your work, educational or creative process, will be able to give recommendations and support, will not be allowed to phony. You will have a responsibility to someone else and you will need to show a certain result. It adds motivation and disciplines.

The main disadvantage is that the services of mentors and trainers are not cheap. But they help you move forward faster than if you do everything alone.

5. Become a leader

You can create your own community online or offline. Or, if you are already competent enough, start teaching, conduct webinars and consultations, write a training course. Or maybe take patronage over someone less experienced.

So you will have responsibility not only for yourself, but also for others: you cannot fall on your face if you are an authority for someone.

What social motivation techniques help you? Let us know in the comments.