Once you have a child around in a hurry to inform you that you're doing wrong. Grandparents, friends and complete strangers eager to tell new parents that the baby does not well dressed, not trimmed or underdeveloped, if half of the year has not yet read the verses stools. Many commentators believe that doing a good deed. But their valuable guidance it is better to keep to yourself.
Why do not interfere with your own business
1. Only parents are responsible for the child
So the law saysSC Code Chapter 12. The rights and duties of parents. Neither the grandparents or aunts and uncles, or even more foreign people are not responsible for it - moral and legal. Parents have a right to decide how to raise a child, his dress, what to buy toys and what to teach.
The rights of children interested in humanityThe declaration of the rights of the child less than a century ago. Russian law prohibitedSC Code Section 69. Annulment applied to child abuse, deprive him of his secondary education, food, clothing, exposing it to life and health in danger (for example, bred in unsanitary apartment or refuse treatment).
However, the questions that haunt "experts" on child-rearing, are outside of the legal field. Feeding milk mixture, carrying a child in a sling, transfer to home schooling or refusing to put on his hat and jacket at 20 ° C can not be considered violent or personal injury.
So, before you give instructions, remember that you are the consequences of their advice is still not responsible. A child's parents are empowered to make all decisions independently.
2. Parents will understand how best
Previously knowledge about how to care for children, mothers souped transferred from elders in the family. Another way to learn how to feed the baby, swaddle and develop, it was not simple.
But now everything is different. There are thousands of books on nutrition, nursing, psychology, education. We have access to blogs, where other people share their experiences, articles and lectures by pediatricians and psychologists, an online expert advice. Young parents are quite capable to take advantage of all this splendor.
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3. Parents and so easy
Raising children is now much heavier than before. The content of the child - not a cheapExperts have calculated the costs of child maintenanceAnd power, time and emotions that parents give to their children, and do immeasurable.
In addition, the standards and requirements of education to the child all the time growing up. Now it is not enough just to feed and clothe the children, helping them with their homework and hire tutors for admission to college. They need gadgets, travel mugs and more classes - from English to robotics.
Parents have to think about a lot of things that were previously very few people are worried. For example, psychological well-being children: how to choose his words so as not to injure the child how to properly criticize and praise, how to adapt man to the school or kindergarten. For the first time adults have to deal with social networks and seek a balance between the prohibition and connivance.
And this is only a small part of all the worries. Do not do any of them.
4. Unsolicited advice - form of emotional abuse
This is the opinionAND. Malkin-Puff "Victimology. Psychology of the victim's conduct " some psychologists. Sounds pretty tough and controversial, but robust grain in this thought is. If a person asks for your opinion about the education of his child, raising the question, much less starting something imposing, you grossly violate other people's boundaries.
And for unsolicited advice often lies a desire to help, and to demonstrate their knowledge and authority to assert themselves at the expense of another.
As a result, a person must either silently and politely tolerate these attacks or to defend themselves. Both spoils the mood and takes power.
5. No one sees the whole picture, except for parents
A year ago, he turned rostovchaninInternet exploded video of rostovchanin threatened police woman for her child's tantrum the police, because a complete stranger to him a child threw a tantrum on the street. The man took the incident on camera, threatening the baby mother and wrote a statement to the police.
A woman who had done nothing wrong, I had a hard time after that: harassment, threats, communicate with care, the police and the press. Although it did not beat the child, he did not scream at him, do not expose his life in danger - in other words, does not violate the law.
The man who shot this video unfortunate, and the father himself. But after divorce My wife and I live separately and regularly raising children is not engaged. And if it worked, and even a little interested in the physiology of the infant, he would have known that the tantrums of a child up to four years - absolutely normalTantrums phenomenon. That the prefrontal cortex, which controls the limbic system and the feelings at that age is still insufficiently developed, and the child can not physically restrain emotions. In addition, in view of the small vocabulary hysteria - it is almost the only way to throw despair, frustration and anger.
Doctors, psychologists and parents of sensitive children are well aware that the kid can throw a tantrum due to overwork, unimportant state of health, and indeed because of anything.
American Greg Pembroke few years ago created a blog Reasons My Son Is CryingWhere he is lecturing real stories about why babies cry. Among the reasons were, for example, such "ocean roared too loudly," "on the TV show Miley Cyrus." According to the materials of this blog the same name even released a book with stories and pictures.
Not only that advisers generally do not see the whole picture as a whole, they still can not understand that approach to parenting and child care are constantly changing. For example, now the doctors strongly recommended to coddle children too much, even in cold weather: overheating - one of the reasonsNIH alerts caregivers to increase in SIDS risk during cold weather sudden infant death syndrome. If it's cold outside, on the child's recommendedHow to Dress a Newborn Baby for the Weather wear layers of clothing as much as putting on the adult, plus one more. And if the temperature is above 24 ° C, for a sufficient baby bed. No winter hats and blankets in the summer. And no, not the children's cold.
6. This is harmful to themselves advisors
Not least because that takes time and effort. As long as such people are thinking about how wrong someone brings up her child, while scribbling angry post on the forum or parent arguing with a young mother, they do not engage in their own lives. And their own children.
In some cases it is impossible to be silent
1. Parents are breaking the law
Bute child rape, not fed, forced to live in unbearable conditions. If you become aware of it, be sure to contact the police.
2. Child in real danger
Let's say you see that kid enthusiastically eating the sand, while her mother turned away. Or did you know that school children offend someone else's child, but he is afraid to tell someone about it. In such cases, you need to calmly talk with parents of the one who was attacked, and talk about what is happening.
3. Chori Chori Chupke Chupke offends you
Strongly pushes the playground, beats and grass at school, insulted. No need to force children to deal with these problems on their own - must proceed through adults.
Misplaced criticism and unsolicited advice no one to help, but on the contrary, only spoil the whole mood. And especially to young parents who have already a lot of problems. Share this article on social networks, so that as many people can remember about it.
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