Are introverts feel lonely: Misconceptions and Facts

A Life / by admin / December 19, 2019

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Introverts - "a people" which, according to generally accepted standards, closed, unsociable, and any companies prefer solitude.

Today we'll find out whether this is so and share with you the views and stories of men and women - Member Quora. All of them are introverts, and each of them has something to say.

I'm an introvert. And this does not mean that I hate people

No, this does not mean that I hate people. I just do not like to be in their surroundings.

I'm not one of those introverts who are nervous in the presence of people, especially if strangers. Even if I suddenly start a little nervous, I still can quite freely communicate. If a person - an introvert, this does not mean that he was shy.

Personally, I hate the so-called small talk, which in fact are silly chatter and a waste of time.
Often I have to explain to people that if I am silent, it does not mean that I'm bored, I'm offended or angry. Maybe I'm just fighting with your inner dragon.
Contrary to popular belief, not all introverts demure and undecideds. I can talk for hours about what I'm wondering.

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But the silence, I still love, yes.

Can I still have much to say on this subject, but I think that all this will not apply exclusively to introverts. Who knows, maybe I'm just a narcissistic man and I think that my mind is much more interesting than what others say.

And now to the main question: Do I feel lonely?

Yes. And, surprisingly, I feel lonely when the people around me.

When I'm alone, I'm rarely bored, I can always find something to do. Yes, sometimes, like all people, I find it sad. But not for the fact that I'm alone in this state and I can drive a tearful song, and thought about my failures, even the situation in my country. But in such cases, I do not feel lonely.

But when a lot of people around me, and I do not feel their involvement in it, that's when I feel lonely.

For example, I can sit next to his best friend, and not to talk, and at the same time we both will not feel alone with him for several hours.

But I can be at the party, attended by 10, 20 or even 40 people. I can talk to them, listen to them and laugh with them, but after a while I realize that this is all just superficial game.

That's when I want to howl with loneliness.

I'm tired of making excuses because I like to be alone

You ask, what is this? So, I often feel guilty. I have to apologize to others for what I do not want to spend time with them. I'm tired of trying to convince others that introversion is nothing wrong - this is normal. I am an introvert and feel good. I'm tired of making excuses because of the fact that I just like to be alone.

I really thought a lot about it, especially in the last year and a half. Introverts are unnecessarily bad reputation, for reasons that I do not quite understand. I would like to dispel some misconceptions. Of course, then it goes just my thoughts, which you can either accept or not.

Misconception 1. Introversion - this is just a fancy word for which people hide the lack of social skills

This is one of the most common misconceptions about introverts. About us thought of as a social outcast. When we were children, we were taught that we should make friends with other children and play with them in the sandbox. If we did not want to do everything, even our parents, began to doubt our normality.

In fact, most introverts quite sociable, well able to behave in society, and yes, they also have friends. They just do not like to waste time in useless talk and do not want to spend Friday night at the bar, sipping a whiskey and Coke in the company of complete strangers.

Misconception 2. Introverts - demure and does not like to talk

Again, not true. I love to talk. I do a lot of reading and thinking. I am interested to share with others their thoughts and get their opinion.

But I do not like to speak in front of a crowd of strangers. I do not like to speak, shouting over the loud music in the bar, and to see that my words to others - it is an empty phrase. I do not like to conduct discussions for the sake of talking, do not like to look for the word just to simply say something.

But I love to talk about what's important to me. I love to talk with people that they really care about. And if we find a common topic of conversation, then I'm all ready to talk for hours.

Misconception 3. Introverts always prefer to spend time alone rather than with someone

This, too, is not always true. Some of my best memories - a trip with your friends and the project team.

As I said above, I can find a common language with other people easily. But as an introvert I need a balance in everything: hours spent with the other, must be balanced by the clock that I will spend in silence and solitude. For me it is a kind of reboot, so I'm going to rest and think.

Misconception 4. Introverts are not leaders

We used to see only charismatic leaders, and we believe that in order to lead the people necessarily need to be an extrovert.

But let's think well. Albert Einstein was an introvert. Bill Gates and Warren Buffett, too introverted. And many other prominent people have been and are introverts.

People become leaders not only because of personal qualities, but also because of their knowledge and abilities. Introverts tend to devote much time favorite work, which is why they make the greatest discoveries and create the largest corporations.

Misconception 5. introverts little

According to various studies, more than half the world's people see themselves as introverts.

As I mentioned above, in our society there is an a stereotype: being an introvert - not meant to be like everyone else, the outsider, almost an outcast. Because of this, many people have never openly admit that they are introverts.

instead of a conclusion

Being an introvert - it's not bad, do not be ashamed and not normal. And for those who still doubt this, watch this offer video.

People are different: someone constantly required to communicate, and someone loves solitude. It's just a fact that you need to take.

Introverts do not like empty talk: I can not feign interest in the subject on which I do not care deeply

If people learn that you are an introvert, then for some reason immediately begin to consider you arrogant, rude and secretive. You are less likely to invite to parties and other such gatherings. If you get married, your friends will joke on the topic of "how this vicious man at all decided to meet her."

But I want to tell you as an introvert:

Introverts tend to be willing to speak on the topics they like. I am happy to talk with others about the movie and sports, but fashion, for example, is not of interest to me. I can not feign interest in the subject on which I do not care deeply.
Introverts are not louts and hermits. We just need our personal space. We need the time that we can spend solely on yourself, it is important to be alone with his thoughts. And we hate, when someone tries to deprive us of this. Respect personal space introverts, their right to be themselves, and believe me, they will be for you the most reliable comrades.
Yes, perhaps, many introverts are not the best storytellers, but they're great listeners. My friends know that I will not be a good companion at the party, but always remember that I am ready to listen to them if they need it.

Are introverts feel lonely?

Yes, I am a hundred times felt lonely when I was not invited to parties when I was forced to go to the movies alone, when all my friends were girls, and I do not. I felt lonely when he moved to a new city where I did not have friends, and I'm not even one to talk to.

But I've learned to live with her loneliness. I'm in a different look at life. I was not exposed to the herd instinct: I watched those movies and read the books that really wanted to see and read, and not because that they are fashionable and everyone around them speak. I thought a lot, and, by the way, thanks to this began to write.

Introverts - ordinary people. Just they need personal space, and they prefer to speak only on those topics that interest them. And there is nothing wrong in the fact that they like to be alone.

I do not crave communication

All the best ideas come to me when I am alone. On any project I am more productive working alone.

I rarely start talking first. But if someone starts talking to me, I always maintain a conversation. Remember that introverts - it's not aliens, and they did not run away as soon as they hear the sound of your voice.

I do not crave communication. I like to be engaged in large-scale projects, but at the same time to perform the task alone. If I still have to be in the range of a large group of people, then the next day I try to protect themselves from communication and to be alone. Such "off from the people," I even needed after I go to the movies with friends. I'm alone, and I was not bored or lonely.

Once in university, I was talking with her classmate about the clubs. I said that I find it boring and tedious, to which he replied: "Well, it's better than staring at the ceiling at home all evening." I remember being stunned his answer. I thought, these people really so unimaginative? After all, the world is so much that can be learned about what you can learn! But instead they spend their time in clubs, and not because they are inveterate party-goers, but because so it is accepted, it is considered cool. Oh, and this eternal "everyone is doing it."

In my life there are no superfluous and random people

Many people like to talk about the disadvantages of introversion, but I want to talk about the pros.

I get bored when I'm alone.
I do not like short formal conversation. If I talk with the person, then it's a real fruitful dialogue.
I have their own opinion. And I never worried because of the fact that it may not necessarily reflect the views of the majority.
In my life there are no superfluous and random people. If I have friends that are real friends.

Introverts are smothered in the company of people, where all think alike

I'm an introvert, and I really like to be alone, if I have a business to which you can commit yourself to. But it is doubtful whether I could stand alone for more than three days. I believe that we all need someone to talk to, even introverts.

Most introverts own special views on life, they have the opinion that they are ready to defend. They do not like typical views that prevails in most small communities.

Imagine you are talking to someone who smells quality and nice-smelling perfume. Of course, you like to converse with such a man. Suppose you are in a company, in which several people use the same perfume. This may annoy you, but in general it's bearable.

Now imagine that you are in a room in which 50 people used the same perfume. Naturally, the fragrance will be stifling, and all you want to do is to immediately run out into the fresh air.

Sometimes introverts just suffocate people in the company, where all think alike. They prefer to communicate with individuals, not with the crowd.

In addition, I believe that introverts are oriented on quality rather than quantity. Sometimes, being in a room full of people who are empty talk about the weather or the gossip, I feel as if I am in an empty room - me as lonely.

I myself can make a good company

I'm an introvert, but I'm sure that if I say this to one of their friends, they will hardly believe me. I have friends with whom I often communicate and get out somewhere. But I consider myself an introvert.

I like to do anything alone. I've never not looking for someone else's approval, and I feel very sad when I notice that most are around me like children: waiting for an adult who will come and tell them what is good and what is bad, what is allowed and what is not.

I feel lonely? Yes sometimes. But not as much as my friends are extroverts: their drives in a real panic the idea that they have to go somewhere one, while I can quite happily go alone to the movies or the theater, and even a trip to alone.

I like to spend time in the company of others, but always remember that I myself can make a good company.

Introversion - an enemy and a friend

My introversion - my worst enemy, when I was surrounded by people, and my best friend when I'm alone.

My father often changed his place of work, and we had to move to a different city. I changed a lot of schools, and in each of them I immediately became a "strange unsociable girl."

I never really had an awkward relationship with others, plus everything I was an only child, and my parents were too busy with their careers, and they were not up to me.

I have often led internal dialogues. On the side, I was like a lost puppy and quiet, but who knows what the debates were in my head non-stop! I thought a lot, much noticed, was inquisitive and observant child.

Free time I spent for books, solving puzzles or just dreaming. As I mentioned, it was hard to meet with peers, as, indeed, it is difficult and until now.

But I do not regret anything - I accept myself for who I am, and I can call myself a happy man.

Communication with others - this is a test for me

I'm an introvert, and I can also call myself a shy person.

Talk to me like an exam

I'm always worried. I am a thousand times scroll in my head that I was going to say. I always think I said something wrong. Sometimes I feel as if I'm playing a role.

It is often exhausting me, and all I want to do after such conversations - to go home and be alone.

I hate parties

Especially if there is going to a lot of unfamiliar people. I have no idea how to start a conversation with a stranger. And even if the venture to start, it is unlikely to be able to maintain it.

I find it hard to ask for something

I always found it difficult to ask for help, so I prefer to deal with everything alone. So that there is help - sometimes I am embarrassed to even call friends and invite them to take a walk.