"Toy" selfishness, or Why not help a child get what they want

Kids Club, where my son goes, there is a rule: if the child took a toy, he played as much as he wants with it. If the same toy wants another child, he has to wait until enough of the first.

All children know this rule, but newcomers are getting used within a few weeks. When there is a conflict of interest, the children simply say: "Cyril, you'll be able to take this machine, when Kohl enough of it."

I had not paid attention to this rule and did not think about its meaning. But only as long as it began to notice a completely different attitude to exchange toys in other places, which are visited by my son.

Two dubious stories about sharing toys

Here are two stories with the toys section, in which my child is involved recently.

Together with his three-year son, we went for a walk to the playground. He took home a bucket and a shovel (to dig loves). Another child, a little older, too, wanted to dig and asked blade. My son is not allowed. After a short time, he came back and asked again. Again he was refused. There was a common childhood brawl.

Then the mother ran a child with the words:

Son, you see that the boy - vredina. Why do you play with him? Parents do not teach him to share. We'll buy you your bucket.

That is, it did not matter that the bucket and shovel belongs to my son, and that the answer is "no" was totally justified and relevant. He still found guilty.

The second story takes place in a local game room, where we often used to go with the child. It is clear that there is a lot of toys, but among them there is a small stand that simulates the kitchen, where the room for only one person. My child like this stand, and it can hold him all the time, while we are in the room.

Many mothers shadow go for their babies. I'm a father, and I find it appropriate to sit and watch the situation, pushing your child to ensuring that it will solve the pressing issues (only intervene in extreme conflict situations). And I noticed that one mother came to my son and said, "You have a long time to play with this kitchen, replaced by other children." The child, of course, ignored her request. She repeated the words several times, and, without waiting for the desired reaction, surrendered.

I want you to understand that in the playroom are many different toys that can take the child. Even there is another area with kitchen utensils, just a slightly different form.

What lesson do we give to the children, helping them to easily get what they want?

I do not agree with the approach of the mothers in the two described situations. Of course, this is my personal opinion and it may differ from yours. But it seems to me that this behavior of parents do a disservice to the child in the future. After all, it teaches the child, he can easily get all that is in other people, just because he wanted to.

Of course, I understand the desire of parents to give their child everything that he likes (he is). But such a situation - it is an opportunity to understand the little man, that is not always easy given the fact what you want so much, and that we should not step over other people just to get them things.

Such parental behavior contrary to what happens in real life. After all, we are from childhood accustom a child to think that he owns everything he sees around.

Recently I read an interesting article on this subject (unfortunately I do not remember on what resource), where there was a trend in today's youth aged 20-25 years believe that they deserve a pay rise and promotion just because come on every day work.

If you doubt my reasoning, recall a typical day of your adult life. You do not pass without waiting in line at the store, just because you do not like to wait. Whether or not a phone, sunglasses and car of another person simply because he borrowed them wanted.

It's complicated, like everything else in the upbringing of the child, but let us teach our children not only an easy life, but also how to deal with disappointment and failure. Because with these things they will inevitably face in adult life. At this point, we do not necessarily will be there to rectify the situation by using their adult authority.

Let us teach children that they are able to and can get everything that they desire in this life, but you need to show patience and diligence.

What do you think about the concept of sharing toys between children and any approach to such situations stick to themselves? It will be interesting to hear your opinion.