Personal experience: I got behind the wheel after crash

As I got into an accident

In my family there was never a question if I ever sit behind the wheel. It was presented as a fact: "You shall have the right and you will drive the car." The thing is that I really like her father - a first-class mechanic, car enthusiast and driver with great experience. Since childhood, I spent a lot of time with my dad in his garage, and together we watched films about the race and even discussed the trends of certain brands of cars. I learned to use different tools, we have been collecting model airplanes and cars.

Mother and grandmother could only wonder: they had nothing so not interested. Because no doubt that I also sit behind the wheel, no one had. I myself have lived with the confidence that everything will be so, dreaming of a new car and driving long-distance travel.

Everything changed when I was 16 years old. I spent a vacation with his family in the country. In one of the weekdays, when the village was empty, I was allowed under the supervision of the Pope reached by dirt road to the nearest store. I ignored a light prick

fear and I listened carefully to the briefing, as well as that the car is running. This was to be my first time behind the wheel. I sat on the driver's seat, tried to get under way, to back, roll the wheel. Like anything complex.

We went.

Dad encouraged me and comforted: tell how to properly rotate where to look while driving and how to keep the speed at one point. He understood that I feel bad dimensions of the machine and it's difficult. But everything went well - I was driving slowly, carefully watch the road. When the store was already in sight, I stopped the car. It seemed to me that I I parked far away, and I decided to drive closer.

And then I made the most common mistake novice drivers: mixed pedals.

I wanted to slow down, but the car abruptly drove off, I did not have time to orient and terrified pressed the gas pedal. As the transport was not training, to stop his father could not. He shouted me turn the steering wheel in the opposite direction from the direction of the store and release the pedal, but I was paralyzed with shock. Fear does not allow me to do something, and the car at high speed flew into the fence and rammed a shop wall. During the collision, I strongly hit her head, but did not lose consciousness. The same thing happened with my dad.

The father did not cry and blame me - his calmness helped me to recover. Immediately after the accident, he checked to see whether I was right, and then out of the car. We saw pierced saydingovuyu shop lining and hood crumpled, broken glass, shattered with pieces bumper and what was left of the left mirror, on the ground. Just at that moment I realized that we are incredibly lucky. The car took the hit.

Then everything happened as standard: the traffic police arrived, recorded the fact of the accident, was discharged a penalty. The owner of the building came into our situation, and we are without a court decided that to pay for repairs. This suited both parties.

The car was repaired and we soon sold. Dad paid the fine and reimburse the owner of the building restoration costs. He repeated that the whole responsibility lies on him and not my fault what happened. But I did not believe him: I was ashamed that I was the cause of so much trouble. Over time, my shame grew into something more.

The next two years I continued to ride in the car as a passenger only when the wheel was Dad or Grandpa. But each trip turned into a torture: I was scared even the sound of the motor. Passing by at high speed of the car, trees and buildings plunged in horror. I could settle down, but when she left the salon. I was ashamed to tell you about this fear, I think that parents will be disappointed in me. And I so wanted his father to be proud of me!

It seems to be getting a little easier on each trip, but the fear never left. In fact, he just climbed deeper.

When I turned 21, I have ripened a question about getting a driver's license. Grandfather died, and one driver per family was not enough. At first, I managed to disown it, because studying and working - time for anything lacking. But suddenly I realized that I did not just make those excuses. Yet again I was not able to admit and enroll driving school.

What I experienced each time in the classroom, it is difficult to describe. The first two trips to the city was brought to the fact that I left the car with trembling knees. I clutched the wheel so tightly that after a half-hour drive could not unhook his hands. On the palm were red marks on the nails. I drank the soothing, trying to adjust itself in a positive way, watching a video with tips for novice drivers. Nothing helped. I still do not understand how at the time I managed to get right.

This happened not once. After the first failure, I even cried: again afraid to disappoint Dad. Although we have to admit that I really drove very carefully and attentively watched the road. But fear kept walking behind me. Perhaps, he turned into a phobia: each approach to the car accompanied by heart palpitations, my hands were shaking and his hands were sweating. His thoughts raced very different picture: on them again and again I ran into something on the machine.

How I solved the problem

Years later, after the accident, having the driver's license and willingness to drive a car, I was faced with the fact that I just can not do it. Meanwhile, there was a lot of responsibilities: it is necessary to drive my grandmother to the clinic, go for groceries, take the family to the cottage or the dog to the vet.

So I came to what I have a problem and I need help. At first, I confessed my sister. I was afraid that she will laugh at me, because many fall into road accident and then quietly sit behind the wheel. But unexpectedly, I received support. My sister advised me to see a psychologist. Among my friends was the right man, and I asked him to help me.

As the familiar - Oksana - had not lived in my town, we communicated remotely. We decided that we would call up twice a week. The first thing I learned: people with a problem like me, a lot. I was encouraged that I am not alone in this situation.

First of all, the expert explained that she was greatly influenced by the age at which I have gone through a traumatic experience. Teens really are very impressionable, all perceive and feel sharper. However, I aggravated the situation by their silence, given the fear grow. Add to that the desire to please the family and relatives to make you proud - and get phobia.

Treatment has been step by step. The psychologist listened and asked me about what exactly scares me. It turned out that my trigger - is itself the beginning of the movement and turning of the ignition key. And indeed, on the road I'm much less worried, included in the process, the most difficult was to force myself to sit in the lounge and pull away. Oksana advised every day to practice: first, just to sit in the cabin, to include music for relaxation. Once the fear of being inside the car began to fade, I began to try to start the car. Every day I was doing the same thing, in the end, these movements no longer seemed to be something scary. I talked in detail about all the expert, she noted my success.

Then followed the first small tour. First, Parking next to the house, and then - to the store across the street. Three weeks later, I fearlessly went to work. All my friends and family knew at that time that I try to beat a phobia, and encouraged me. I think it is their support and professional expertise have helped me so quickly overcome fears.

What to do if you want to get behind the wheel after crash

Analyze the accident, forgive yourself and let go of the guilt

Recognizing the problem, it is important to meet her face to face. Just think back to the time when the accident occurred. Try to remember and analyze exactly what went wrong. Please rate if you commit such mistakes after the accident (provided that you continue to drive). If you are plagued by remorse, remember that you did not do it intentionally. You do not want to do any harm. Will continue to be very careful.

I understand exactly what scares you in the car driving

Triggers to activate the phobia can be very different - from the ignition key is turned to a certain traffic situation. It is important to understand exactly what is causing your fear, and work primarily on it.

This should be done gradually. It is impossible to get into the car and through the power to force yourself to go - so you will only provoke strengthening of fear. Approach to the issue step by step, get used to be inside the cabin. Try to make it something that scares you. If fear does not go away at once, that's fine - you need to continue to work. Bring actions to automatism, even if they become commonplace. When the main trigger fear will fade, add to your attempts at new actions that you are not afraid. As soon as everything will be given easily, you can continue to travel.

To talk about their problem with family or psychologist, and not be ashamed of her

This can not be silent. according to researchThe Oxford Handbook of Philosophy of Emotion, emotions affect our attention, and fear does not help in this case. When a man is afraid to be includedThe effect of fear and anger on selective attention selective memory. There is a concentration on something the same - namely, the fact that this is the most fear. But the driver while driving a lot of problems: it is necessary to look in the mirror to check if the pedestrians are, pay attention to the signs, indicators of the speedometer, weather conditions and more. Focusing on something individually, we increase the chances of something overlooked and not taken into account - and get into an accident.

It is for this reason that it is so important to work on their fears, talk about it and not be embarrassed. Surviving his phobia alone, you can hurt yourself and others.

Think about the problem from a different angle. You want to be sure of road users and do not pose a danger to others drivers and their passengers. This desire can hardly meet the condemnation - rather you for it will be respected. This is commendable, and there is nothing to be ashamed of. Therefore share what you care about.

Refresh their knowledge of traffic rules

The traffic rules are often innovations, and their need to know. In addition, the human memory is not perfect, you might forget something from the time of the accident. Newfound knowledge will give confidence on the road.

Step by step to do all the things you were taught in driving school

To this point should move only after all of the above, or you may make the situation worse. To test your skill, it is best to choose a free parking lot, or any other lonely place. If nearby is nothing like that, take in the fellow travelers experienced driver and find something suitable on the map. There you will be able to practice safely, without fear to cause anyone harm.

Go on the road together with the accompanying

Take the person to whom you trust and who will not get you criticize for errors - this is very important! When driving in a society someone from the family will no longer cause fear, try to go it alone. Start with alleys with poor traffic. For more complex routes can be selected as confidence returns. It is best to leave in the late evening or early weekend morning, when there are so many cars on the road.

I realized that

driving fear among those who survived the accident, akin to that experienced novice drivers. This is primarily fear for their lives and safety of others. After the accident, I do not think I could overcome this phobia and drive car without fear. But a psychologist and unlimited support of loved ones has led to what is now I sit down in the lounge and go with pleasure. Sometimes the fear of trying to get back, but now I know how to deal with it.

Do not neglect the observance of traffic rules, pass the MOT in time, use the car correctly, work with fear and do not worry it alone. Then you will win.