How to live with their desires, feelings and emotions
A Life / / December 19, 2019
Let's be honest with you: we live in a society that is afraid of feelings and emotions resist. From childhood we are taught to switch from negative feelings such as anger, sadness or pain. But getting used to suppress or control the emotions, we forget about the serious consequences.
If we try to suppress their feelings, We lose the notion of who we really are. We limit our ability to self-knowledge and narrow the field of experience. The methods that we use for the removal of pain and other emotions become ingrained in us as early as five years - just in time for the time when we begin to realize the concept of loss and death.
This method of psychological protection exists to keep the mind in stressful situations. However, he is able to harm us in adult life. Apparently, the problem is acute: is it worth to experience emotions or suppress their need?
When we repress emotions, we become more rigid in general, are losing a sense of fullness of life, the relationship with the desires. We often turn to the past, looking for a recipe for a happy life in the childhood memories.
To find meaning in our daily activities, we must thoroughly understand and explore emotions. They can be healthy or unhealthy, primary or secondary.
- Primary emotions - emotions are healthy, they help us to function, survive and thrive.
- Secondary emotions are considered unhealthy. Them we feel as a result of decision-making, development of beliefs in the process of growing up. If we try to suppress emotions instead learn from them and work with them, it only adds to their negative impact.
Although some emotions and hinder us, we can use them for self. Many people are afraid of their own feelings, but they are not as scary as it may seem. We can learn to give them out and make it safe for themselves.
emotions not the antonym of rationality. They complement the cool and prudent mind, help direct its work.
Allowing yourself to experience the feelings fully, we begin to understand better what you really want and what they think, according to modeling the behavior of this new knowledge.
To feel emotions - it is not the same thing as to allow them to control our behavior. If you learn even experience the most unhealthy emotions in a safe and healthy form, you will be able to minimize their destructive action. For example, you will learn to feel the pain, but without becoming a victim of, or experience anger without aggression.
This problem is particularly acute for women, who are taught from childhood not only to suppress emotions, but also to separate feelings "for girls" by the senses "for boys". Because of this, men often have a distorted understanding and perception of emotions. psychologists mark following features:
- Men tend to "convert" one feeling to another. Stereotypical female feelings, such as sadness, they will transform into anger or pride, because they believe that the manifestation of these emotions will make them worthy members of society.
- Men show their emotions, where it is considered acceptable. For example, they can cuddle after a goal is scored on the pitch. Unfortunately, in other situations, men are less likely to show positive feelings for fear that society will perceive them incorrectly.
- Men may experience feelings physically. Most often, this results in a headache or backache.
- Men are twice limit themselves to expressing emotions. Firstly, they are afraid of public disapproval. Second, even when a man is willing to go through your emotions openly, for example, open up to partner, he did not always know how to do it right. As a result, even the closest person may negatively perceive the expression of feelings and emotions to be frightened of the storm. In this situation, it is evident that the right to express, to experience, to regulate and interpret emotions.
But none of us are born with the ability to manage emotions. This must be learned (preferably at an early age) and does not stop there.
Practice emotional therapy can help us understand and accept the emotions and transform them in a positive way. Its meaning is to remain aware of the feelings, not trying to suppress them, to increase tolerance to the spontaneous emotions and live in harmony with them.
When you capture the emotions, begin to breathe deeply
One of the most common practices, which are often used by people with chronic pain. Do not suppress emotions, instead relax and allow yourself to feel and take everything to the fullest. Feel anger, sadness, pain, or desire - this is normal. Just with these sensations must learn to live without discomfort. And for this start to experience emotions.
Do not judge your emotions
There are no bad emotions. This specific type of adaptation, which shows how you cope with difficult situations at the beginning of his life. Emotion is not a rational response to the situation, but it shows that you remember the circumstances and sensual reactions to them. Memories and emotions play makes us more open to the outside world, because now we know that it causes us a particular reaction, and do not seek to evaluate it.
Find a way to calm the emotions rather than to feed them
In other words, you need to find a way to experience the feeling, but do not step up and do not feed it. If you are hurt or angry you are, do not waste time on the mental simulation of the situation. Experience the pain and just wait until this wave of feelings subside, and then release. Do not attempt to identify with this emotion, do not focus on this state. Even negative emotions are important: they bring us a natural reaction of adaptation to the situation. Behind this comes the feeling of compassion for yourself. This means that there was a significant shift in self-perception, which, in fact, quite difficult to achieve.
Remember, we can learn to live all the emotions, while remaining sufficiently rational to analyze or make decisions. To learn to live with feelings, you need to understand them. Thus, you get the ability to handle and regulate their emotions. This is necessary if you want to ever build a truly healthy relationships and improve their lives.