How to maintain a conversation, if you have no idea what it was about
A Life / / December 19, 2019
Understand all over the world it is impossible, but because of the gaps in knowledge can easily find themselves in an awkward position. Share tips to help you make a good impression and do not deprive the attention of his interlocutor.
Think about what kind of response expected of you
The two sides meet very different. One is quite satisfied with free ears and a rare nod of the head. But another will require you a meaningful response and emotional reaction. So the first thing you need to understand what type of companion you are dealing.
It is easy to determine. Suffice it to observe the facial expressions and body language, followed by his speech. In the book by Marina Butovskaya "Body Language: Nature and Culture"You can find a lot of useful information about non-verbal communication.
For example, the increased interest and excited can tell dilated pupils and wide eyes. Slightly raised eyebrows, too, are a sign of concentration and curiosity. Prolonged eye contact indicates that the person is important to be listened to carefully.
active gesticulation in Russian and American cultures talk about energy and desire to convey their point of view. And if you notice that the person is trying to move up closer to you during a dialogue, it indicates a desire to be heard.
Also worth a watch that how a person says, pay attention to the tone and intonation.
The well-known speaker on Dale Carnegie book "How to develop self-confidence and influence people, speaking in public," he wrote, that it wants to interest you will be shaped and easy to understand. More, it can be rapidIf a person is agitated and very passionate about the topic. High-pitched voice or increase also point to the enthusiasm of the interlocutor.
If you have identified at least a few of these signs of interest, the more likely you will be required a response and participation.
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- How to turn a meaningless conversation in fruitful conversation
Sincerely try to understand the interlocutor
If the subject of conversation for you perfectly is not clear or is not completely understood, communicate with a person will be very difficult. In this doubly difficult to give an emotional response, which is expected of you. But if you have not shown it, it can seem cold and indifferent.
To make it easier to understand the man, you can try to hold for himself analogy. Suffice it to recall something similar of what excites and interests just for you. This will help you feel the theme and be with someone on the same wavelength.
For example, your partner says that the car he had just bought, he was disappointed. And you do not have rights, and cars you no clue about anything. But the speaker is waiting for you to participate.
Remember, you are probably also experiencing something similar.
Perhaps you just do not let down expensive equipment. Refresh the memory of these events and feelings experienced by you, you will be able to better understand the man and his problem.
It's easy to make those in whom strong empathy - the ability to feel and empathize with his interlocutor. If you are not a skilled empath, then just try to put yourself in the position of the speaker and be guided by his emotions. Try not to evaluate, give up the judgment. Just listen carefully and give the other party an absolute attention.
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Admit it, that did not understand, and ask to recommend something on the subject
Honesty - the best policy, and this should start. Something does not know is not a shame. But to demonstrate the enthusiasm and desire to learn will not be superfluous. So you show the other person that you're interested.
Because man is likely to have studied the subject of conversation up and down, it is not difficult to advise you something to read or watch. So get ready to record or ask to send you a list of mail sources, or in social networks. You can also ask what is special in them. Sure your partner will be happy to share what he knows.
Contact us and ask questions
Asking questions and wanting to know the opinion of the source, you can cheer him. according to researchThe Neuroscience of Everybody's Favorite TopicIn most cases, I prefer to talk about the speaker himself any other topic. At the same time, if you give him a chance to talk and will not interrupt, it will start to look more attractive in his eyes.
Such an approach will also help you gather the information you need to continue the dialogue.
If the source will require a response from you, there is a one-stop solution. Say what you will about something similar thought, but do not know how to treat this. Or have not yet formed a complete opinion on the matter. Move the arrow at him. Ask what he or she thinks about that.
Do not interrupt
If you interrupt the voice of the caller, you lose the ability to understand the subject and learn more. At the same time can frustrate or even anger him or her. As explainedHow to Be Heard When Talking to a Chronic Interrupter Mindy psychologist Joel (Joel Minden) from the University of California at Chico, when a person interrupts, he unknowingly shows his supremacy. The interviewee may perceive this negatively and consider that you want to be quiet. Or that your opinion is more important. This is clearly not disposed to you the second participant conversation.
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Ask about other opinions on this issue
A win-win options. Usually, if a person says something important, something he already has his own opinion on the subject. And for that he learned a lot and got some experience. Interested parties on the other, you will get a long monologue. First you talk about other points of view, and then - why they are incorrect or far from the truth.
For example:
- You did not think that this book is boring?
- I admit. But that's your opinion. And they write about it on the Internet? What the critics say? Surely it someone praises.
Or such an option:
- How do you new gadget?
- Do you think he's good? I have not decided (to be). And what about him feedback? Someone you know has bought it?
As long as you listen to the answer, you will be able to expand their knowledge and to understand the topic fully.
Gently change the subject
As soon as your companion uttered and outlined everything you can translate the theme to something that is close to you both. Do not change it radically and dramatically - just send in another direction. Let's say you are talking about buying a laptop, and the pros and cons of certain models. But you absolutely no clue about technology. Say you want to buy something else when the theme has run its course. And will continue to ease dialogue.
In fact, it is important to remember that something not know - this is normal and is not ashamed. A person learns his whole life. And if you do something not read or studied, it does not mean that you are not ready to discover something new.
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