The power of denial: As negative thoughts can make us happier

Agree, vacation or prolonged weekend - a psychological puzzle. On the one hand, it is a great joy. On the other - to achieve this happiness, we must make great efforts; it makes us unhappy. Who likes to be in a stuffy hall of the bus station or in the same apartment as we stopped to visit relatives, which would be time already and honor to know ...

"Think positively" - advised us magazines. The same is suggested by Norman Vincent Peale, author of "The Power of Positive Thinking", but only 60 years ago. Somehow during the holidays Peel suggested to take advantage of this advice: try to talk about everything and hopefully in a positive way. However, the result was the same as the well-known joke: when you are told not to think of lemon, but the more you try, the more you feel the sour taste in the mouth.

Positive philosophy Saw is deeply rooted in American culture. Americans refer to everything with a smile, whether it is life, politics or business. But studies have shown that vigorous spirit to a positive future visualization often brings the opposite effect than lifting mood.

And modern psychologists and ancient philosophers acknowledge the contradiction: the path to happiness lies through denial.

This approach explains a lot. For example, that the degree of happiness of the inhabitants of countries with weak economies are often much higher than that of citizens in a well-developed countries. Or the fact that many successful entrepreneurs sometimes refuse bold, ambitious, large-scale business ideas.

One of the pioneers of the "negative path to happiness" was a New York psychotherapist Albert Ellis. He reinvented the philosophy Stoics Ancient Greece and Rome: sometimes not to be disappointed in the future, it is better to expect the worst.

Roman stoic Seneca treated the issue radically and supported method if you speak in Russian, "like cures like." Are you afraid to fail? He would advise you to go and spend a few days in contentment small: without a roof over your head, eat lean food, wearing rags, deprive yourself of any entertainment - but ask yourself at this: "And that's what I afraid of? "

Or, for example, the embarrassment. To overcome it, Ellis recommends ride the subway (or use any other crowded public transport) and loudly say aloud the names of the stations (stops) immediately after departure. It's complicated, but effective.

The technique that the Stoics called "intentional justification of evil" - that is, the ability to soberly assess the situation with the worst hand - can minimize the amount of negative energy in the future. Psychologist Julie NOREM claims that about one-third of Americans instinctively use this strategy. NOREM itself calls this approach "defensive pessimism". Positive thinking - is an attempt to convince himself that all will be well. But, on the other hand, it also reinforces the belief that all wildly awful if suddenly things went wrong.

US corporations are perhaps the best example of the widespread cult of positive thinking. In America, it is important that businesses put before its global organization, bold and sometimes risky goals, and workers themselves to the contrary - clear, accessible, timely.

But here there is a paradox. Indeed, in pursuit of the achievement of the objectives employees can forget about morality. This fact proves studyWhich he held Professor Lisa Ordonez with colleagues. The participants had to form words from a set of random letters in Scrabble game. Those to whom were assigned specific targets lie more often than those who were told just to try to win.

Statement of hard targets may even lead to the failure or the failure to achieve meaningful results. For example, taxi drivers in rainy weather can earn much more, but most will stop working after you have made the day a plan to get a good salary.

"Looping" on one goal at the expense of other factors can harm both the overall mission and life of the employee in particular, "- he says Christopher Keyes, Assistant professor at George Washington University, Department of Management (Washington, DC). Professor Keyes spoke of "sverhpogone for the purpose of" always remembers a conversation with one leader, who said that his goal was to become a millionaire at the age of 40 years old... and he did it! BUT! He divorced his wife, he had health problems, his children did not want to even talk to him. In his studies, Christopher Keyes argues that because of our preoccupation with a particular purpose lies a deep sense of insecurity.

In a study Sara Saraswati, Associate professor of the Department of Business Administration, University of Virginia, noted that the ability to adapt to The feeling of uncertainty - is the key to a more harmonious life, which often opens the door to the full prosperity. Sara interviewed 45 successful entrepreneurs, each of whom had at least one business. Almost none of them took advantage of the idea of ​​writing a business plan or carry out extensive market research. They practiced, gain experience, have achieved success through trial and error, somewhere experimented, not engaged in what Sara Saraswati calls "the enforcement." Instead of selecting a specific goal and plan to achieve it, they used the means that were at their disposal, and represented the desired outcome.

"Enforcement" Sara Saraswati also includes the "principle acceptable loss." Rather than focus on the opportunity to get some spectacular rewards for risky, ask yourself: how big the damage it will bring, if anything will not work. If the losses seem valid, you can take the next step.

The basic meaning of "way to happiness through denial" does not imply its assistance optimistic emotions and even success. It's just realism. We always want to in our life everything went as we need, without any surprises. But the future is not predetermined.

Most importantly denial in every human life - is a denial of death. Can we experience some positive emotions, thinking that soon we are gone?

Perhaps we should agree with the words Woody Allen death: "I am totally against it" - better openly resist it than to deny it. Because there are things, the progress of which can not change, even the most positive thoughts.