Learn to speak beautifully: 6 errors in conversation

1. Word-parasites and tautology

The other day, you know, eeee... it was like when I said, trying to say something and could not say anything because nuuu... I do not know, just do not come to mind.

Compare this embodiment:

The other day I could not speak, because nothing came to mind.

And with this:

Last week, during the conversation with a potential client, I could not say a word, because it was empty in the head.

What kind of example do you, more successful and more likely to get people's attention? Of course, the latter.

In the first case - an abundance of unnecessary words, which only brings boredom in the audience. Second removed all the verbal garbage, but clearly limping semantic component: offer dry, about anything. The third option is complemented relevant details that open up to the listener of what is happening now. Live, "visual" sentences without words-parasites and unnecessary repetitions are perceived and remembered much better.

If in 1987, US President Ronald Reagan in his speechIt R. Reagan at the Brandenburg Gate in Berlin the Berlin Wall had said something like:

The wall - it's something... mmm that should not be there, so that, in general, let's take it as soon as possible uberom.

Such a message would simply got lost in the information flow. Instead, he was thrown concise and succinct call:

Tear down this wall!

The most frequent words-parasites: that's, like, just, in general, this is the most, shall we say, as they say, in short, like, well, do not know right, then so, uh huh. not too difficult to get rid of these and other unnecessary "filler" if desired. Here are three effective methods:

1. Record a conversation on DictaphoneAnd then listen and analyze. Evaluate whether it was possible to say something briefly, do you have any words-parasites. Most likely come to the conclusion that it is better not to fill the pause you insert into them inarticulate bellowing or unnecessary repetitions.
2. Ask a friend to write down some annoying sound for you. It can be a loud whistle or rattle. And even if he turns it on every time you told it to use again forbidden word.
3. Many people are more receptive to information in written or printed form. Try to make short notes (speeches, conversations). Then re-read them and ask yourself whether you can make each sentence shorter, imaginative and powerful. Of course, we all write and speak differently, everyone has his own style, but the general principles are still there.

2. Problems with the rhythm of speech

Surely you have noticed (if not for themselves, then for someone from the surrounding) speech defects rhythmic character. When the words are pronounced abruptly, with too long pauses, or vice versa, people chattering so that the listener does not have time to understand his thoughts.

To see the difference in perception, try to pronounce the phrase below. Try speaking clearly each syllable and take brief breaks between words. Listen to the sound of your voice:

Today I'm going to the gym. Perhaps with a friend.

You will have a so-called "speed" speech, in which too much emphasis is placed on individual syllables, and that - a mistake.

And now try to mix with each word next to get as least one piece passage. Read without a hitch, but not too slowly:

Today, poyduv-gym, the opportunities of-girlfriend.

It may seem that this version sounds a bit sloppy. In fact, we are with such smooth transitions-cords becomes more easy for listening.

As for the very rapid pace, there is a risk not only to remain misunderstood, but blurt out something extra (eg, in a fit of emotion). Track the speed of speech will, once again, recording on tape.

Try to breathe deeply before each sentence and think about what you are listening with great interest and you have nowhere to hurry.

3. Inability to use body language

Many people know the difference between closed and open versions in the language of the bodyBut continue to use closed gestures when it would be necessary, on the contrary, open up.

Movements and facial expressions are characterized as open, if they express a friendly attitude and a willingness to Interaction: when not hidden palms, looking in the direction of the interlocutor in the eye, feet turned in his direction and the like. Closed gestures include crossed arms or legs, glancing in the direction of or on the phone, fists - everything that shows the voltage or even aggression.

We all have a natural tendency to behave one way or another depending on the situation. If you disagree with someone, the body automatically responds: you narrow pupils, turned away his head, crosses her arms. Conversely, when you understand, listen and support you unknowingly opens.

However, not always necessary to submit non-verbal cues interlocutor, often the situation demands otherwise. Try to control your body movements and facial expressions when talking. Pay attention to the position of the hands, on what facial muscles tense up. After working out, you can not manage it.

4. The habit of arguing

In itself an expression of disagreement - it's not bad. As they say, in a dispute born truth. So there are creative ideas, the incentive to learn and something to improve. All this is useful and necessary for social interaction, even if you are against a lot of people.

Disagreement can be a mistake only if the agreement or disagreement of the companions nothing depends and does not change. That is, if it is an empty argument, which does not bring any results, but irritation opponents. The essence of these discussions is not to learn something new. When you say that someone is wrong, you join with him in a verbal battle over the status. And that's why most of the disputants remain unconvinced - to preserve dignity.

The next time you hear ridiculous or wrong, in your opinion, point of view, first find out why people think so, but do not rush to refute it.

If, even after listening to the arguments, you disagree with someone's opinion, does not engage in useless dispute. Instead, move the conversation to another topic, where you can come to an understanding. This area is not? Then simply avoid contact with this person.

5. The lack of topics to talk

In the unfamiliar company or in conversation with new words for you people can very quickly dry out due to difficulties in the selection of the overall theme. Probably each of us at least once in his life had to pull himself out of some phrases, trying to fill the awkward pauses. In order not to fall into the uncomfortable situation, you can advance to come up with a list of those on duty and use them on occasion.

Imagine the circumstances when you want to start a conversation with strangers or unfamiliar interlocutor: about cooler at work, at a meeting in a cafe, at the bus stop.

Prepare the 10 topics, which are suitable for conversation with anyone in any situation.

It's easier than it seems. For example, you can always ask about the life and work (of course, subtly and delicately), discuss the latest news (but it is advisable to avoid politics), to ask for advice on some issue. Win-win, though not too interesting option - to talk about the weather.

6. illiterate speech

Do not forget that conversation with literate, educated person is perceived better than with those who are confused in the cases and vocabulary accents. Increase culture of his speech, read more, use dictionaries. But it is important to remember the sense of measures: do not turn into a boring nerd and do not ship companion too difficult for him to phrases and terms.

These are the most common errors in spoken language. Do you have any of them? Maybe you know a good way to get rid of them? Share your experience in the comments.