How to turn a meaningless conversation in fruitful conversation

Having mastered the art of small talk, many people do not know how to go to the next level and turn meaningless conversation in a fruitful and interesting to both sides of the conversation. Here are some easy and practical ways that you can take note of even the most introverted closed!

Wanting to quickly move on to substantive discussion, many admit the same error. Before you learn how to translate the conversation in the right direction to us, we shall understand with how to do it is impossible.

• Bad cop. You can not force the interlocutor feel like being interrogated. Who would like to feel as if he is forced to undergo strict and meticulous job interview? "Where do you live? What do you do? And how is it?" You will look overly aggressive.
• Mr. Banality. Boring general issues - a clear abuse of their attention. You get exactly the same empty answers about anything. "Where did you grow up? Oh, it's so interesting. Do you have a hobby?" We are talking about a lifetime hobby. I'm tired already.
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• Too nervous. This is when you are trying to tell everything at once, and even ask everyone what they think about it. «Let me tell you what I do. Firstly, I have a career. Secondly, I have been doing more and that's it. What do you think of it? You all heard of it? Yes? And how do you evaluate? " At this point, you can literally feel how others lose their energy, and their eyes glaze over.

So how to do we already know. And how to go from empty talk to a deep, interesting and fruitful conversation? Such a dialogue - always the exchange of information: to remain silent and not be able to listen to. And just ask questions - too.

If you think you can not ask the right questions and carry on a conversation, use these strategies.

Strategy № 1. Question, question, statement

If you are only doing that are asking questions, in fact, contribute nothing to the conversation. A good alternative - to ask two or three questions, and then to make a statement.

poorly

- Where are you from? How long do you live here? And how do you like it? And why you moved here?

Good

- Where are you from?
- I am from Samara.
- Oh, I've been there. Actually, I grew up in Tomsk, and then moved to Moscow. It was not an easy decision.
- Understand. How long have you been living in the capital?

Instead of questioning the source, you share with the person you desire to communicate and strikes up a relationship.

Strategy № 2. Observe and make compliments

If you make thoughtful, specific compliments, it will be one of the most powerful tools for productive and active conversation. If we make such compliments natural and original, your interlocutor will actually be pleased to hear that. Watch. This is the key to a perfect compliment.

poorly

- You are the most courageous and intelligent man of all the people I know. How can I be like you?

Such a compliment sounds vulgar, banal and completely unnatural. Your partner thinks you are very strange, unpleasant or self-serving.

Good

- You know, it is noticeable that you are not afraid to take challenges. I know a lot of managers, but no one who would be engaged in diving in his spare time. How did you decide on that?

You see, what happened? Your companion will be very pleased to receive such a compliment. You will like it, because you have proven to be attentive and observant person.

Strategy № 3. Have your own opinion

The absence of an opinion - it is one of the factors that destroy the conversation. Imagine a conversation with a person who has no point of view, but only specifies the general questions. It's unbearable. What he really thinks? How to contact with such a person? That is why the critical need to have their own opinion.

poorly

- What do you think about these dreadful forest fires near the town of X?
- I can not say anything. I heard about it quite a bit.

Good

— What do you think about these dreadful forest fires near the town of X?
- I saw a report! However, it was short-lived, little information, but it seems that the fire started because of the tourists. You know the details?

You see, even if you know the problem quite small, you can still bring something of their own in a conversation. No one requires you to report on the subject. People are simply interested to hear your opinion, that's all.

The best part is that the strategy will work in any case, if you do not like to talk to the other in principle, and if you have already reached the top oratory. The main thing - to communicate and apply these tips into practice.