How to pacify the anger and why it's important to do it

Where does the anger

To overcome anger, you must first understand what it feels and how it is taken. We can say that feelings depend on the incentive system, they show how well needs are met. When needs are not met, you feel bad. And the greater the need, the worse you will.

When the plans are thwarted because of the circumstances, you experience irritation that goes into depression. You can not change anything and feel of it bad. But if you implement your plans prevented the people, you feel anger towards him, as he is the cause of dissatisfaction to your need.

In the distant past, and the increased activity of aggressive behavior, characteristic of anger, were useful. If you have to solve the conflict by force, to fight and cries, it can be useful in our time. But in the civilized world problems are rarely solved with the use of physical force, so the feeling of anger is often useless.

You are likely to try to forget the situation in which the experienced anger, try to throw it out of my head, to again experience negative emotions. But when you

relax control, The memory will return again and will torment you.

Disassemble the situation itself. What this man has done bad for you? Now it is just as important as in that moment?

If not, try to forgive him. But if your anger was completely justified, and it turned out to be an unforgivable act and cowardly, you will need a different strategy.

Why to understand and forgive - the only option

Forgiveness - is a universal way to resolve the situation. First of all it is important for the one who forgives, because it frees him from the negativity that corrodes from the inside.

When you are angry at someone for a long period of time, this is due to the fact that you remember the details of insulting the situation and continue to scroll through it in my head. Detailed recollection of events is perceived as a replay, and again there is a feeling of anger.

So if someone tells you, "I forgive but not forget" - do not believe him. Forgiveness helps to forget the details of the event, therefore, a person ceases to relive it again and again. Forgiveness and forgetting go together.

What you're just a man, it does not mean that your relationship has become the same. Maybe you are disappointed in him and will no longer be trusted, but you at least stop being angry.

Create distance

What about a situation where you simply can not forgive someone? Does this mean that you will remember for life details quarrel or ugly act and inflate inside the fire of hatred? Not necessarily.

The depth and strength of emotional response to a particular person depends on how close you all are taking. When you are angry, it scrolls continuously in the head case, when you have offended. It is such a kind of mental rumination.

Try to move away from this situation. When she reemerged in your head, imagine that it happened with someone of your friends and not with you. As a result, you will be able to look at the circumstances more abstractly. You Depart from disturbing details that will help to calm down and win clash in my head.

Take a look from a different perspective

Anger makes us think narrowly. When you are very angry with someone, you're missing the opportunities offered to you this situation.

There is a good phrase: "If life gives you lemons, make lemonade." Perhaps you do not change the opinion about a person, but you can look at the situation from a different angle and useful lessons.

You can also try to understand the person on whom angry. When we perform an ugly act, then we justify their behavior prevailing circumstances. If someone else makes a mistake, then we explain this by the fact that he has such character. For example, we believe the default thief unfair, evil and insidious, and not considering the circumstances, which led him to the theft: the lack of money, lack of proper education, difficult childhood, and so Further.

Put yourself in the place of the person to whom you are angry, you can see a number of circumstances that led him to such an act. Perhaps you still do not agree with the fact that he did the right thing and that it was the only option, but at least you stop to consider it pure evil. It will be easier to forgive and forget the situation.

Get rid of the strong anger - a difficult task, but you need to do it. Being under the influence of strong negative emotions, we rarely make good decisions, especially at work. Anger can damage not only to others but also ourselves.

Therefore, once you've calmed down a bit and notice the raging emotions inside, try to get rid of them as soon as possible.

What helps you relax?