Triathlon and Family Life

Any sport, if you do not just bring in shape, but also want to take part in competitions, and even show good results there, takes time, money and concentration. For example, the preparatory training schedule to «half» (Ironman 70,3) may include six of the seven days of training, the duration of a single training - 3 hours or more. That is, if you want to show really good results, not crawl to the finish line almost right next to the student's record time. Now add here work and family or a soul mate, and you will realize that the puzzle can not come together.

What to do and is it possible to sit on two chairs, lands and your partner, and your bike? I think it is better to listen to seasoned advice. ;)

Susan Lac - triatletka with the experience, and every new season is about to divorce her husband. When paired, both addicted to triathlon, then there is no problem. No one will be offended if you decide to ride a bicycle on Saturday 4:00 since then can do the same. Paired everyone understands how much effort and time-consuming exercise, but brings a thrill to achieve a new personal record, or participate in the race. Usually disputes are due to the fact that someone has eaten the wrong running snacks or buy a more expensive suit. But it is not so much affect the relationship. You are still together.

What do you do when one became interested in triathlon, and the second as a result of being left out and is not enthusiastic about the new passion spouse? In order to better understand the phenomenon of "Triathlon of divorce," Susan turned to a family counselor Ben Caldwell. In addition to his doctorate Caldwell six times finished on the Ironman, so he is like no one else understands this problem.

So, whether the couple can actually get to a divorce because of the triathlon?

This phenomenon is really real. Training often cause dependence and training triathletes are time-consuming and quite a lot of money. The money and time - two reasons why most often swear even a simple pair. So, you know, arguments are practically inevitable. And a couple who are not ready for a deep dive sports one of the partners begin to experience difficulties.

Dr. Caldwell has worked with many couples in which one partner was seriously passionate about triathlon, and the good news is that the situation is not so hopeless. If you try to take into account each other's interests and with understanding, then even a triathlon can bring a lot of new and interesting things in family life. For many couples, it becomes a source of new adventures, team work and the new joint achievements.

What problems can arise?

Cases where the cause of quarrel was the interest in the sport itself, come across extremely rare. Usually, the couple enjoyed the fact that their partner decided to take him and began to lead a more healthy lifestyle. Quarrels arise mainly due to the fact that a long time is not too keen because of training or begins to draw in the sport more passive partner without his particular desire.

In the first case, because of the constant and rather prolonged absence from home triathlete begins to miss not only home leisure hours (family talk, joint campaigns a movie or a walk), but no longer do some of their domestic responsibilities, which, of course, in itself is not going away and passed on to the second partner. If the couple does not talk about it and does not try to set up a schedule that would help restore the balance, "unsportsmanlike" partner feels offended.

Also, the second partner may decide that all the training - a way to get away from domestic responsibilities, or, worse, by himself. Sometimes it does happen, but then the problems in the relationship is clearly not out of the sport. Everything is much more complicated and deeper.

One of the solutions to the problem - try as much as possible gently draw the other half to the sport. Not hard to drag along on training, and gently and gradually bring up to date. If the level of fitness you have about the same, then no problems. But if you are much better prepared, the partner will be very difficult for you to stretch, it will be from complexes that do not live up to your level, and as a result the situation may deteriorate even further.

Dr. Caldwell offers several options involving soft unsportsmanlike partner in training:

1. Invite your partner to the race as a spectator. Crossing the finish line competitors - a very positive and inspiring sight, even if they do it on all fours. :) Emotions, which at this point are reflected on their faces - that's the main inspiration! And it can be very different people: young and old, slender and full, strong and regular. After that it will be difficult to say that you do not come for the sport of physique, and to find excuses for its refusal to himself.

2. Help to find the time for training. Another thing that can stop your partner - the lack of time for training. In fact, while you can find almost always, the main thing - the right to distribute the works and set priorities. Yes, sometimes he will want to take a break, and it is quite natural, since a triathlon - employment serious and requires more effort. The less you push, the more likely it is that your spouse will be involved and will drive you on a bike and go for a morning jog.

3. Become his biggest fan! Everything is simple: keep around, and do not criticize. Praise for any, even a very small achievement, and do as much as possible compliments positive changes in his appearance.

So, whether you can bring happiness and her husband (wife), and my bike? Answer - it is possible! Just to prioritize. And if suddenly it so happens that you need to be close with his half of a very important reason, but this time you have to take part in the competitions, which were prepared months, select partner. In the end, it's not the last race in your life? There will be other, much more! But another of the same close and loved one, you can more or meet.

The reason for most of the problems that occur in pairs due to the triathlon or any other sports hobbies (fishing does not count), lies in the fact that the partners are not trying to understand what is happening when failures start at communications. If you talk to and find out the reason, perhaps, all easy to fix trivial improvement planning. In order to show a loved one how important it is for you, it is not necessary to spend the whole day. Talk about how you need it, show it acts, and everything will be fine.

Of himself as his wife triathlete can add that to you exactly need three things: patience, understanding and acceptance.

1. PatienceSo as not to be broken, when he once again drag with them a thousand kilometers with three transfers bike for exercise, and half of your bags will be packed with his sports accessories, shape and gadgets. This is the simplest example.

2. UnderstandingTo really understand why they need it. What he seeks in this way. When you understand this, the irritation goes away and comes pride for a loved one who is trying to get better, not only for themselves but also for you.

3. Adoption. When you have decided that you will be together, you have been a man, with all its positive and negative sides. If the triathlon became part of his life, you just have to accept it, that's all. This is not the worst fad. In the end, and you can come, too (or already has) some of his passions, which you will need the same understanding, acceptance and patience. ;)

(via)