Why do you have fewer friends than you think

Scientists generally we are pleased with. Make discoveries, develop science, tell something new about human behavior. But not at this time. Now they have published one of the most depressed research to learn about the results of which it is difficult not to upset.

Let's do a fun exercise. Close your eyes, take a deep breath and try to find all of their friends. Not only the closest and not only those who have seen recently. In general, all people on Earth, who you can call a friend or a friend.

Considered? How come? Fine. Now divide that number by two.

We're a little lied: exercise something is not cheerful. But as a result you get almost the exact number of real, real friends.

Okay, we lied on a grand scale. In fact, exercise is pretty sad. It is based on one of the most depressed of sociological research.

PLoS One journal published a study according to which half of those we consider our friend, does not feel the same way.

The researchers asked the students, students together to evaluate each other on a scale from zero ( "I do not know who it is") to five ( "This is one of my best friends"). Friendship is the grade from three to five points. Participants also recorded their guesses about how other people will evaluate them.

It turned out that 94% of respondents hoped to get as high scores from their friends. This is logical: you are unlikely to call someone else if you do not think that this relationship is reciprocal.

On the other hand, we fix and one-sided friendship. For example, say, "I do not know her, but it seems to me a good person." In general, these two scenarios friendship cover almost all recorded during the experiment the relationship between students.

But the reality was brutal: only 53% of evaluations were mutual. Half of those who hoped to receive high praise from his seemingly other, in fact has been estimated lower scores.

Of course, the study was not ambitious: it was attended by just 84 people. In addition, they are still studying in University. And everyone knows that after the release of the relationship between classmates changed. Someone begins to be friends even more, and someone forgets about his comrades, having crossed the threshold of the University with a diploma in hand.

But the researchers were not appeased and examined data from other studies on friendship, thus increasing the number of participants up to 3 160 people. And the results were even worse: reciprocity existed only between 34% of the subjects.

"These data suggest the inability of people to perceive friendship as something essentially mutual. At the same time the possibility of a non-reciprocal friendship spoils our own self "- note the authors of the study.

Well, that's honest. No one likes to think of themselves as unwelcome person is in a relationship, which actually is not (and can be, and will not be). Perhaps this failure - just a way of emotional self-defense.

There is something to think about, is not it?