6 tips to help you become a master of self-control

Tip number 1. Remove from sight all that can tempt you

If you quit smoking, do not keep cigarettes at home. If you are suffering from shopogolizm, immediately after the salary to withdraw money from the card and put in a bedside table or deposit from which they are harder to get, and never carry large amounts.

If you lose the will in the form of flour - cook bread and cakes just for yourself. It is one thing - when fresh white loaf is in the kitchen, and only need to cut a loaf (or you can even Gnaw on the stick, then really), and quite another - when you need to plant a story for four hours with the test and yeast.

It is important to make the most alluring things difficult to reach to an automatic reaction of the limbic system are not crossed your efforts to pacify the passions.

Even if the limbic system is so played out, that force you to get dressed and go to the store for bread and cigarettes (this happens in extreme cases), on the way you will have a chance to change their mind and prevent disaster.

Tip number 2. If you can not avoid the temptation, focus on the most abstract of his characteristics

When Michel (Walter Michel - a psychologist, a leading expert on self-control. - Approx. Ed.) suggested the kids, whom he tormented "Zephyr" testsThink about the most seductive qualities vkusnyashek, they could not stand a few minutes.

Children who are encouraged to think about Zephirin as white soft clouds kept much longer as the kids 'break' idea to think about the taste and smell of goodies, and those who did not give any instructions.

The essence of 'marshmallow' test: a small child seated in a chair in a separate room and offered him to eat the marshmallow with one condition. Sweetness could eat now or wait fifteen minutes and already two of marshmallow. In some cases, the children ate the marshmallow, even without listening conditions. But there were those who were able to hold the allotted time and get a well-deserved award.

It was on a "hot" system of automatic responses aimed all advertising: remember how tempting flows in television rollers hot caramel, which fall glossy nuts, and how unbearably appetizing all the covers of thick stringy this beauty chocolate. How sweetly lick his lips and roll their eyes people from advertising yogurt: looking at unearthly bliss that they have, we immediately want to run to the store to experience it too.

Deliberately turn away from anything attractive about the source of your desires, you keep the "hot system" (Limbic) vyklyuchonnoy and "cold" (the prefrontal cortex) and so know that we should not succumb to temptation.

Think about nice counterpart only in the context of your joint projects and her professional qualities, and going to visit Aunt, choose candy, guided by the beauty of the package, rather than their own taste preferences.

Tip number 3. Get the limbic system to work for you: engage her to "denigrate" the cause of your temptations

The limbic system - a powerful ancient instrument, which allowed our ancestors to survive, making them very strongly want something, such as sex, or, on the contrary, very much something I do not want to - for example, to be eaten tiger. Spurs emotional call of "hot" system of animals persistently achieve their goals, because the desire - the best motivator.

Basic settings are a person that at the sight of chocolates he feels it is the desire, not disgust or revulsion, as if to be desirable to millions unsuccessfully losing weight. But, using the prefrontal cortex, it is possible to bring down these settings, artificially creating more powerful. To do this, how to imagine the consequences of action, which would be good to avoid having involved as fully as possible "hot" emotional system.

The brighter and more expressive you imagine something, the stronger your desire or reluctance.

If intolerable pulls smoke - Imagine yourself as a young, but dying from lung cancer in cold shabby chamber, where the ship changed every two days and linen and all remains of the previous patient. When an irresistible desire to eat a packet of biscuits, draw a picture in my head how to find her husband on the phone is quite unambiguous correspondence with an unknown (but obviously slender) Pass.

When two o'clock in the morning you want to watch another episode of your favorite TV series, although in the morning the importance a meeting to which you are not ready, imagine how you eat the third month in a buckwheat, left out of employment. See yourself crawling behind the sofa to find a ten-coin sunset, because without it you do not have enough money to pay the rent.

Unscrew the imagination to its fullest: here you write to friends and humbly beg them at least a little cash. Here they are denied or borrow, but look at you with contempt and a little squeamish, and then cease to call for the general meeting - still you can not pay in a cafe. Imagine how you diligently for an hour darned torn tights: you think that everything is very gently, but familiar at the meeting wondered aloud what have you got a strange pattern on the right knee.

For every temptation can come up with a lot of payback options, but it is very important to choose the one that really hurts.

For example, you - a girl and just can not quit smoking, but lung cancer does not bother you. But he worried that a colleague at the office is not looking in your direction. So, do not represent the ward, and how badly will smell your breath, what will become disgusting yellow teeth and fingers. It is likely that for you personally, this picture will work better than the threat of premature death.

Nothing to be ashamed of is not here, only focusing on what is really important for you, and do not follow imposed standards (cancer - it's horror, the horror), it is possible to achieve results and how to rastravit limbic system.

Realizing which option nightmarish future hurts you the most, you need at every meeting with the temptation to be sure to "turn on" the picture of this option in mind.

First, you'll forget to do it or cause the created image is too late, after it ate a chocolate bar or stroll fitness classes. But if you continue to exercise, pretty soon pave the brain in the head the desired neural pathways and tightly bind a particular temptation to hideous picture.

And then when you look at the dangerous object polished to detail "slanderous" the plot will occur prior to, and ideally, instead of the usual reaction of lust. But even if the limbic system has time to want something harmful, spelled out in detail and how to emotive disgusting picture quickly replace the usual desire. […]

Tip number 4. Come up with a clear strategy of action in a situation where you are faced with temptation

Presentation disgusting consequences of an undesirable act that you intend to commit - a very effective way to deal with short-term desires. We can say that this is the heavy artillery, which should be applied to deal with the most terrible temptations. In order to ward off the temptation of smaller ones, which are waiting for people with problems of willpower at every step, there is another tactic. Walter Michel calls it a plan "if... then".

To develop it, you first need some time to watch them and find out in which situations you most often seen weakness, for example, open a tab with your favorite social network. Suppose you find that getting into Facebook or "VKontakte", when at work you need to perform a boring task.

Or you check huskies pulling, if you know what to be especially difficult task - for example, you prepare for the session and reached the complicated ticket. Remember this condition and come up with the control words which will tell yourself the next time you feel it. Nothing special is not necessary, simply, "No, I can not, I'm working," or "This temptation, stop!" Or "Stop! Do not get distracted, rag! "(Although it is better to do without negativity to yourself).

If I'm bored, and I'm ready to open Facebook, I say to myself, "Stop! Do not get distracted! ", Take your hands off the keyboard and 10 seconds, look out the window. Then back to work.

Despite the seeming simplicity and even a clumsy plan "if... then" works very well. On the one hand, the plan "if... then" throws an automatic response of the limbic system, and gives a few salutary seconds, for which the prefrontal cortex leisurely time to get involved and take action. The time delay is especially helpful to those who "knocks" anterior cingulate cortex: these people do not have time in time to cut off the conflict between short-term and long-term goal rush.

On the other hand, an alternative scenario behavior acts as a diversion. To this technique to work, it is important not only to look at the incentive, but do not even think about it: a mental image Kindle limbic system is not worse than the real prototypes.

Tip number 5. Secures external compulsion

There are rare lucky ones who do not need to urge yourself, it is enough internal motivation to do only the right things and to abandon incorrect. But the majority of these tasks are hard - for different reasons.

In some works poorly anterior cingulate cortex (ACC), and they just do not keep track of the conflict between short-term desire - instead of the gym to stay at home and drink beer - and global objectives - to lose weight and build muscle to fly. Others overdevelopment amygdala, they respond to any temptation, and therefore can not possibly begin to study English at home, but have bought the best tutorial and even cleared the table.

Rather than hope for the thousandth time, that today for some reason you find yourself a more strong-willed than usual, depriving themselves of choice.

If you sign on the English courses is guaranteed to work out at least during lesson time. The probability that you reach the venue, increases many times when paid courses (on the other hand, it makes sense not to be recorded better in school, and in the next, or turning away from a long journey in traffic jams or crowded public transport "overpower" the pain of wasted money).

Most people throw gym after a couple of sessions, because it is difficult to drag the iron, and very few people able to voluntarily resign ourselves to flour for dim prospects, that one day in the future he (probably) will be toned body. Obey the orders of the coach much easier. A financial motivation and embarrassed in front of a stranger, who is waiting for you at the appointed hour, additional incentives not to miss classes.

Tip number 5.1. Intentionally create a situation where you can not avoid a useful, but not very pleasant now things

The revision and expansion of the previous council. If you have a problem with motivation, choosing between the occupation, it is now a pleasant, but not harmful then very attractive at the moment, but supposedly more great benefits in the future, you will be more likely to choose the first. So do not put yourself in this situation and make sure that there is no such choice.

For example, download the app, which is during business hours block social networks. Include it during a trip on the subway, and then you will have no choice but to begin to finally read a book that you've always pull each other in the bag, but has never opened. Move all the gadgets in the English and Russian buy movies without sound track - so you move the study of language from a dead point, avoid the temptation to see everything in Russian.

Enter a rule that includes new episodes of favorite series only with the phone on a stand in front of the treadmill. This tactic - a homemade external compulsion, and, unlike the hundredth time the promises made "to find time to sit down for English," it really works.

Tip number 6. Secure your deadline

"On the last night before deadlines I work best. " If you are one of those who often says this, know that you are wrong. Yes, the deadline, especially if his failure to follow the sanctions - the most powerful external constraints, which makes the work of almost all.

The time pressure appears very clearly emotive target t. E. that same motivation, which usually do not have enough people with self-control problems. But the stress response, which will inevitably run in such conditions, PFC suppresses and decreases the quality of work.

Having worked all night before the delivery of the project, you can be, and finished it, but it is clearly worse than in the case, if you consistently worked on him for several months.

In a situation of "hand over the project in one way or did not pass the" this decision is justified, but to succeed in a career and life in general, is more useful to learn a valuable skill to work stably for a long time. Although deadlines are also useful - though not real, but simulated.

Surely you've noticed that in situations where a couple of hours it is necessary to run somewhere, get to work as productively as possible. Especially if it is not necessary to run a clinic or a kindergarten for your child, and to the movies or to visit friends, t. E. where it expected something nice.

This offensive phenomena ( "Ah, but dispersed, and already have to call it a day!") There is a scientific explanation. The need to go - it is external compulsion and at the same time the deadline. You know that you have only two hours - clearly a limited period, during which almost anyone can survive without being distracted.

If you need to escape for a pleasant occasion, self-control at this time is additionally supported by the dopamine-fed of waiting (as you remember, dopamine is responsible just for the foretaste of pleasure). Avralny completing the work, the person feels satisfied - a good job, you can now legally have a rest.

Securing a such nice deadlines, you get a few hours of full operation - without wandering around social networks and third party sites.

But it is important not to overdo it: extrinsic motivation does not work indefinitely, and to reach more than two, maximum three hours of waiting on one will not succeed. But two hours of continuous thoughtful work sometimes are full-time.

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