Non-verbal body language: all the attention on the shoulders

"If you slouch so, no one will marry you!"
My grandmother.

«Everybody lies»
House M.D.

As a child, my grandmother kept repeating: "Straighten, keep your back straight! Unfold the shoulders, above the chin, the neck is smooth. Look at yourself in the mirror - you're a girl, "Of course, my grandmother knew little about non-verbal language of the body!. Just as it was taught as a child in the distant 30-ies of XX century the Institute for Noble Maidens. But she knew very well what kind of impression on others makes a person with a beautiful posture.

© photo

When we talk about non-verbal language of the body, most often we pay attention to the face and hands, at least - to their feet. On the shoulders, we almost never see because just do not know that they can give out fear, insecurity, depression, and even lies. Psychology of communication based on non-verbal body language.

Joe Navarro, a former FBI agent, shares his observations, which for twenty-five years of service accumulated to several books;)

Force

How I told before, Joe Navarro for a long time I worked in the FBI and had to deal not only with ordinary criminals, but with psychopaths. During conversations with the prisoners, he observed their behavior - facial expressions and gestures. His mother was as wise as my grandmother, and always demanded from his son straight back and straightened his shoulders. In women, nature has a positive reaction to the men with a V-shape (broad shoulders, narrow hips). In nature, it means that he has an excellent health and physical strength nedyuzhy - a sort of alpha male.

A man with a straight back and broad shoulders straightened looks strong and it seems even a little higher than its growth.

Once one of psychopathic criminals Navarro said: «Silverbacks do not go after silverbacks, they go after everything else.» (Silverbacks - is the alpha male gorillas with the silver hair on the back) - that is, the victims are usually chosen from the weak and uncertain. Straightened his shoulders - a sign of confidence and strength. And even if not widely as we would like, it is a man with a confident gait and outstretched shoulders are much less likely to become a victim than the ssutulennogo, with drooping shoulders and bowed head. This species is almost a direct invitation to the bad guys.

Depression

Look at the child who came back from school after serving their sentence, or not very good grades. What does he look like? Usually downcast gaze added ssutulennaya back and drooping shoulders. This unpleasant condition is quite fast (up to the first interesting cartoon) and the child again cheerful and happy - my eyes are burning, straightened his shoulders! People are suffering from prolonged depression, may be in a similar position for much longer - days, weeks and even months. Their shoulders are always left out, they practically do not move them. They look like they could barely hold on the skeleton and may fall off, if a person will make at least one sharp movement.

decoyed

If men use straightened his shoulders to show their strength and confidence, women use this part of the body to lure men. Oriental dancer, a dancer at the carnival in Brazil - all of them are actively using the shoulders. Can you imagine a dancer on the Brazilian carnival with drooping shoulders and immobilized? Open shoulders attracted to men and women that are actively using, do not even aware of it. One example is, in my opinion - is a movement of Marilyn Monroe!

If a girl is not sure of herself, wearing a dress or blouse, opening the shoulders, she will feel uncomfortable and will likely begin to slouch.

False?

Since we hardly pay attention to the shoulders of their movement the hardest to control. If you ask a person about something, what he does not know what he will do with the answer? He shrugs his shoulders, lifting them up a little. This gesture means more uncertainty than a lie. That is, people are not sure, I do not know right or exact answer.

During interviews with witnesses, Joe Navarro, noted that if a person is not absolutely sure of the accuracy of his answer, he would say yes, but a little will raise at least one shoulder.

Do the same patients who due to certain reasons is not satisfied with the prescription drugs (for example, after receiving arise stomach problems). When doctors ask them whether they take medications that were prescribed to them, they answer in the affirmative, but a little shrug. If you notice the gesture and ask them probing questions, it turns out that when taking these medicines have there are certain difficulties, and they decided to give them up or find an alternative to the advice acquaintances.

If you ask a colleague if he has time to make a report before the end of the week, you'll likely get an affirmative answer with a slight shrug of the shoulders and the phrase "likely." And if you decide to ask in more detail, it may well be that "... most likely have time, but I have two small children who are sick, so ..." So it may be, and do not have time.

Children less control over their bodies, and, most likely, they will answer in the affirmative to the question in the answer to they do not believe they will shake both shoulders, and very energetic (some of them even start shake).

If the answer to question a person commits an implicit motion of at least one shoulder - it does not mean that he is deliberately lying. Most likely, it's just not quite sure of its response and, if it is to question in more detail, you can find a lot of interesting points.

In any case, straight back and straightened his shoulders gives confidence to look to any person, regardless of their width. Do not tire of repeating that our internal state and external inseparably linked chain. And even if you feel uncertainty and fear, one has only to straighten your shoulders and lift his head as the unpleasant feelings will pass, and the surrounding will look completely different on you. Immediately it might not work, but if a little practice, all the necessary work.