How to become neschactnym 10 surest ways

To learn how to be happy and successful, write all. But here's how to spoil your life, write a few dare. Just because the subject is not very fashionable and very pleasant. Since no longer a secret that we do not miserable and the surrounding circumstances, and we are. And the most intense pain, again, we are committed to themselves. That's just admit it, not everyone can.

Because it is scary. After all, if in our distress we are guilty, then complain about the external circumstances will not succeed. We'll have to pull yourself together and start to work hard on their own happiness. Just do not be confused with the well-being, because the presence thereof, people are not always happy.

One option to give a magical kick, after which even a hedgehog fly - is to use our natural talent to do everything "to the contrary." No wonder the book Grigory Oster "Bad advice" is so popular.

These "10 tips for those who want to be miserable," wrote Celestine Chua, coachers from Singapore, author of Personal Excellence

PersonalExcellence.co. The list was drawn up shortly before her decision to hold the next experiment - 21 days only in positive mood despite the external circumstances.

After reading recommendations from Celestine, I realized that the very sinful. Some items almost shouting: "You're doing it all the time!" I can not say that I am unhappy. But sometimes it rolled a feeling that the whole world is against me, and all turns out badly. The main thing is not only to get stuck and not be left in this state for a long time, otherwise you can get involved and become Eeyore. ;)

1. Constantly complain about life

This is what we do best! Variations: "Why did it happen to me ?!" "Well, why I did not get this job?", "Why did not he asked me out on a date?" And so on and so forth. The list of complaints can be endless. People always something not satisfied. If this is not the government, but at least the weather. For a long time there is no snow - "Well, where is winter?» Covered with snow that does not melt even in the middle of March, - "Well, when it will end this winter? "Every situation can be reversed, so that it would look awkward. Agree that the negative we are looking for much more frequently and find it much faster than the reasons for positive emotions.

What to do? Try to always pay attention to the positive or at least neutral party. And once you've caught myself on the fact that you start whining and complaining, stop it immediately! Otherwise zavedonnaya barrel organ and stops. Awareness - is the first step to solving the problem. Try to catch the moment of switching on the negative and to understand that it is for you to trigger.

2. Deliberately avoid problems

Sometimes Scarlett O'Hara option is very helpful:

I will not think about it today. I will think about it tomorrow.

But all too often many people use it as an excuse for your inaction and unwillingness to solve the problems.

Postpone, avoid, close your eyes, pretend not to hear, not to express their opinion - all this is to avoid problems. But so you do not decide, but merely postponed. Moreover, over time, a small problem can turn into a huge snowball that eventually pogrebot you under them. In any case, like ostrich behavior will make it worse. So remove your head out of the sand and take at least something. This is already a step towards victory.

3. Compare itself with the surrounding

My favorite item! You can not imagine how silly it all looks the part and how many actually brings trouble like comparing. Somewhere six months ago I saw the movie "The Johnsons» (The Joneses), which is very colorfully describes this behavior. There's a small town came to a perfect couple. Perfect house, perfect children and things - it was luxury. And the neighbors began to look at them and try to do everything exactly the same. As a result, one of the characters was so engrossed in comparing yourself and your family with this standard, that committed suicide when he realized that does not reach down to their level, no matter how hard.

This story from the film shows one of the worst consequences of this imitation. I do not know how realistic such cases. but underestimated self-concept and feeling like a complete loser, you are guaranteed. There will always be someone who at least somewhat better than you.

4. Worry about things and events that have not even occurred

This is one of the most common reasons that a huge number of great ideas never see life. Because their owners are afraid to fail, but not sure it is 100%. Just as suddenly? And once built a number of self-imposed obstacles that may arise before the novice entrepreneur. For the same reasons, are not family, not glued couple and have children.

Not to be cynical, but in the end we all die. So why miss out so many good things in our life only because of fears that may never be realized?

5. Load the problems themselves

Avoid bad problems, but excessive immersing yourself in them - the same thing is not very useful. If you have the talent to make mountains out of molehills, then this item is for you. All face the problems. Large and small, and not very urgent. If you wail, then even the smallest problem will seem intractable.

• Stop whining and ask for help if you need it.
• Lay out the problem into components, and it will not seem so terrible.
• Do not try to solve several problems at once. Line up the priority queue and treat the problems one by one in the order they are received.

6. Do things that you do not like

I will not dwell on this point because everything is so obvious.

It is difficult to be happy while doing unloved business.

7. Keep the relationship that itself has long been exhausted

To be close to those who do not love, - silly. Stay close because of feelings of guilt or pity - is doubly stupid. No matter how well you did not hide it, people still feel that the attitude has changed. And he will harass you, so that you confessed. Especially talented partners manage to instill more and guilt, because you already precisely it will never give up.

Staying in such relations, You are depriving themselves of the opportunity to find a new love and a new life. You seem to be stuck in a negative past, no future. The phrase "We are responsible for those who tamed" is only suitable for pets. With a man like this - it is not love, just love. Do not confuse these two completely different feelings. From the need to get rid of attachments.

The same applies to relations with friends. As would be sad not sounded this fact, but people change over time, and some links fade, wilt and did break. Pull them just because you are friends, so silly as to be an unloved man. Such friends will not appreciate you and listen.

You were beautiful relationship ended. It's time to move on.

8. Try to change the people around them

It is difficult to change yourself. More harder - to change others. Especially when you're just trying to adjust them for yourself. Any person with self-respect even in its infancy is hard (and sometimes aggressively) to resist to such an act of violence against his person.

You can spend a huge amount of time to fight with the bad, in your opinion, the habits of your second half. As a result, he or she will simply leave you to - possibly modified and improved. To those who will appreciate them for what they are. At the end of this story is only one unhappy man: it is you.

People change solely on their own. So the only thing you can do - is to submit his own example. And if you could do it - you can start a movement that would change not only the people around you, but also the world at large.

9. Try to please everyone

And this is generally one of the most thankless business. Please everyone is impossible. If you like you all, you're likely to mediocrity without an opinion. One thing to keep his mouth shut when relatives or superiors, and another thing - to try to be nice to everyone. In an effort to make everything good you will not notice how your own "I" is dissolved in the stream of another's desires and preferences. As a result, you will earn another neurosis and an inferiority complex.

You have to live your life, not someone else's desires.

10. Tie themselves to the goals / things / status / people

In this world, nothing is permanent. Everything flows, everything changes. Including you. Your goals set at the beginning of the year, may become completely irrelevant to its end. Man, in which you were madly in love and with whom he vowed "to live in sickness and in health, till death do you part", it may be not the prince. Friends tend to fail, and the children - do not grow such as we represent them. People change, money devalued, job may get bored - can not be tightly bind itself to the circumstances. Be flexible and open, and then the world will be sure to respond to you, and throw up a couple standing ideas / people at the very moment when you do not expect.

I think everyone will find this list at least one point, which he performs every day. Sometimes with extreme urgency. Perhaps, absolutely and permanently happy people do not exist. But we can at least try to become such a day... two... or even a week. And, who knows, maybe the state of happiness will be one of our good habits?

Do not get hung up, do not stop and never give up.