“I am constantly alone with the problem.” What to do when a loved one has schizophrenia

My daughter did not have acute manifestations of schizophrenia. Bad mood, lack of empathy, irritability, drowsiness - with such symptoms, specialists diagnosed her with depression for a long time. Sometimes my daughter said that she heard some voices, but I was sure that these were ordinary internal dialogues of a person with himself. She found out about the diagnosis about a year ago - she casually mentioned it at a pre-New Year's meeting. I couldn't believe it and thought it was a mistake.

For some time we did not touch upon the topic of the disease at all, as if if we did not talk about the problem, it would disappear. When I realized that my child really had schizophrenia, I scoured the entire Internet. I really wanted to find information on how people with a diagnosis cope with routine and what to expect next. But almost all the texts that I came across were similar to reprints from Wikipedia and were of little help. So I’m just learning to put aside my worries about my daughter and solve problems as they arise.

I don't talk about schizophrenia with friends or even relatives. Any other illness evokes sympathy, and mental disorders are perceived by society as nonsense, a whim, and “oh, I made it up to myself.” I don’t want to waste energy trying to break through someone’s stereotypes. Although, if you have a moral resource, it is worth doing.

I constantly feel alone with a problem. Sometimes I feel powerless because I can’t change something. It seems to me that it is important for those who care for relatives with schizophrenia to find someone to whom they can talk, “climb into the arms” and share their pain. By the way, my daughter talks quite openly about her diagnosis in a small blog. It helps her.

I would like to be with my daughter constantly, monitor her condition, check how she eats and whether she sleeps enough. I understand that if we lived together, I would babysit her. Sometimes it’s scary when I can’t reach my child on the phone. But I understand that you will never be able to get rid of anxiety. A daughter is an adult who must make her own decisions. She is a fighter and I am very proud of her.

All my life I guessed that my father was sick with something, but I didn’t think it was schizophrenia. Probably because his case was not like how the disease is usually presented: with visions and voices in the head. I found out the truth recently when I asked my mother for his official diagnosis.

In early childhood, I was almost unaware of what was happening, and my father had not yet suffered much due to his illness. He was quite independent in everyday life. The problem was different: he constantly forgot what he needed to do, buy, bring or take away. I lost money and looked for those who “stole” it. Repeated the same phrases. Sometimes I broke things out of emotion and had to fix them or throw them away.

As time passed, the situation became worse. My father drank alcohol, which made him more aggressive and hostile. Memory lapses and manic control appeared. Due to alcohol, the disease progressed rapidly, but he did not want to be treated. Perhaps if he had consulted a specialist, everything would have been better.

We stopped living together, but I was still interested in understanding what was going on in the head of a loved one. I looked for information about schizophrenia on the Internet, from friends and mental health specialists. By the way, I believe that many people whose relatives have been diagnosed would benefit from communicating with a psychologist. This will help you build personal boundaries to counter stereotypes in society, and teach you how to support yourself in difficult moments. Ultimately, it will be possible to accumulate the moral resource that is needed to help a loved one.

The topic of schizophrenia is hushed up, and sometimes it seems that the presence of a relative with the disease even needs to be hidden as something shameful. But you shouldn’t devalue your experience. I told a lot of people about my father. Sometimes we even joked in conversations, but only with those people who definitely would not judge.

If you have a relative with schizophrenia, don't turn your back on them. Try to be supportive and understanding. Most of those who are faced with the disease are not evil by nature and sincerely want to get better.

My grandmother suffers from schizophrenia. My mother always took her illness seriously and told me about the diagnosis only when I was a teenager. By that time, my grandmother was living in a boarding school. I wanted to communicate and visit her, so I collected information and talked with specialists. At the stage of “getting to know” the disease, forums where relatives of people who have been diagnosed with the disease communicate have been a great help. I read their stories, tried to figure out how schizophrenia progresses differently.

Of course, there were immediately people around me who tried to somehow shame me and hinted at bad heredity. It was hard to visit my grandmother alone, especially at first. Then I told my best friend about the situation. I explained to her what kind of disorder this is and how important meetings with a loved one are for me. My friend understood everything and even went with me to the boarding school for some time.

My grandmother was always kind, hard-working, and helped us in everything. I remember how, as a child, she cooked me the most delicious soup. She is not to blame for anything, and it hurts me that a dear person found himself in such a situation. Her diagnosis made me realize that no one is immune from mental illness. Now I try to perceive her as she is.

My grandmother's illness was not easy for my mother. Looking at her, I understand that it is important for people who care for loved ones with schizophrenia or are simply painfully living with their diagnosis to seek help. If necessary, visit a psychologist. This will make you understand that the situation is not your fault. We recently visited our grandmother. I see how she is weakening - age and illness are taking their toll. But I try to enjoy the little things. Every touch, every conversation. Because she recognized me and called me by name! Such moments clearly show that life is different and not always fair. But we have only one.