7 Ways to Rekindle a Fading Friendship

Friends play an important role in our lives. And although many still underestimate the real impact of friendship, science confirms that it is an important factor on which our health, both physical and mental, depends.

Stable friendships protect us from anxiety and depression, allow get more pleasure from life, increase its duration and improve health indicators such as body mass index and blood pressure.

Lack of strong social connections, meanwhile, increases risk of developing cardiovascular disease, stroke, type 2 diabetes and dementia. Some studies even showthat loneliness causes twice as much damage to our physical and mental health as obesity.

Many may think that you need to have a lot of friends, but research They say about the opposite. It's quality, not quantity, that matters, and having even a small circle of close friends is a more important predictor of happiness than having many casual connections. In addition, those who believe that friendship arises and continues on its own, years later

turn out to be lonelier than those who understand that platonic relationships require effort.

At the same time, in order to stay healthy and happy, it is not at all necessary to look for new friends. Even if old connections are gradually fading away, there are ways to breathe new life into them.

1. Constantly dedicate time

Spending time together and sharing experiences with those we care about plays an important role in strengthening friendships. Experts in Interpersonal Communications calculated, that we need to spend about 50 hours with a person to turn from acquaintances to friends, about 90 hours - from friends to friends, and more than 200 hours - from friends to best friends.

If you are very busy and often forget about friends' birthdays or don't call them back for a long time, add this to your to-do list. For example, “ask Masha how she feels” or “find out from Petya how the interview went.”

2. Maintain a positive attitude

It's not about always saying only what makes you feel good, but about how you feel after meeting a friend. To develop a relationship, it is important that both the other person and you feel loved, accepted and supported.

Compliment your friends more often, make them laugh and encourage them. If you are tired, in a bad mood or suffering from depression - Talk openly about your feelings, but at the same time allow your loved one to feel differently. For example, you could admit that you've been feeling sad lately, and then say that you saw photos of a friend on social media from a recent trip and ask how it went.

When you show interest and ask questions, you add positive emotions to the relationship, even if they conflict with your current mood. The goal is that after meeting you, your friends will feel better because you were there.

3. To be youreself

Another key to strengthening friendships is allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Open up and show your friends your true self, even if you're worried they won't like it. According to research This is especially difficult for men who often do not share their intimate experiences for fear that society will not accept them. But there is no loophole here: in order to communicate with other people, you have to talk at least a little about who you are.

Of course, this does not mean that you should immediately reveal all your secrets and list all your injuries. Start small. Share your opinion about the events that are happening around you, or film, which we recently watched. The more you show your individuality, the more attractive you become to others.

Try to go even further and talk about what is bothering or scaring you now. An honest conversation may be uncomfortable, but it is better than silence, both for you and for your friend. When we open up to people, we feel like we are dumping our problems on them. But in fact, such frankness shows that we like and trust the person. This is what brings us together.

4. Try something new

This applies to both conversations and actions. We often tend to talk about the same topics and meet in the same places at the same times. There's nothing wrong with consistency, but novelty helps deepen friendships. Think about what else you can do together - for example, go to journey or sign up for a dance.

5. Express gratitude

Think about the last time you told a friend you appreciated them. However, there is a good reason to do this at the first opportunity: research confirmthat gratitude helps strengthen friendships.

Make it a habit to regularly show your friend that you value him as a person, respect his views, and appreciate everything he does for you. Pay attention to moments when a friend supports you or initiates joint plans. For example: “Thank you for organizing our weekend. It means a lot to me."

And if you feel inspired, you can even create what experts sometimes call a lifetime funeral oration - a letter that will set out everything that you admire and especially appreciate about friend.

6. Be there for important moments

Every friendship has turning points - ups and downs in life that determine how we perceive the relationship. Was your friend there when you got promoted? Or when you were given a terrible diagnosis? Or when you got divorced and met new love? The answers to these questions greatly influence how much we value friendships.

7. Make an effort together

If you feel that you are growing apart, discuss it. Explain the role your friend plays in your life and why you want to strengthen the relationship. Ask if he has any ideas that could help with this.

When something specific upsets you, talk about it directly rather than withdrawing. Staying silent about a problem is the same as passing a verdict of “guilty” before a person can justify himself. Healthy conflict resolution begins with dialogue: “I was hurt when this happened, let’s talk about it.”