10 factors that cause hostility in relationships

Hostility creeps into relationships unnoticed. She gradually drains their energy and attention until one of the partners suddenly realizes that the other is disgusting to him. As a result, relationships collapse not because of one serious offense, but because of a series of small ones. In order to prevent unpleasant developments, it is useful to know about the most common reasons that lead to this.

1. Restraint in physical intimacy

Lack of affectionate gestures, even small ones such as light touching or holding hands hands, can sow a seed of doubt in a partner about his own attractiveness and about yours towards him interest.

And although lack of sex is considered a dangerous signal in a relationship; intimacy can be maintained in other ways. For example, kiss your partner good night or wink at him from across the room at a party. Such signs of attention will make your loved one feel welcome and understand that he is noticed.

2. Lack of support

If in disputes you often take the side of anyone but your partner, be careful. Over time, he may feel like you don't value his opinion or value him enough to support him publicly. In a relationship, it is very important to be a team, and any disagreements are best discussed behind closed doors.

3. Different points of view on raising children

No matter how much a couple has the same views, partners will still disagree on various issues, especially when it comes to children. Some parents prefer a more strict parenting style, others prefer a more strict parenting style. soft.

As long as you agree on important issues and the difference in views is insignificant, there is no need to worry. But if you completely ignore your partner's approach to parenting and do things your way, problems can arise.

Children are smart enough to sense rifts between parents. Over time, they will also begin to take the side of either mom or dad, which can increase hostility in the relationship between the partners.

4. Understatement in money matters

Even if there are many of them, money - a serious source of stress for couples with a shared budget. And one of the main rules is to remain honest in everything. Don't hide from each other debts, spontaneous spending habits, or problems at work that could lead to a change in your overall financial situation.

Make a budget together and discuss it regularly, without holding anything back. When one of the partners remains silent and the other has to play detective, mistrust arises in the relationship.

5. Disapproval and condemnation of a partner

It's one thing to give your loved one helpful advice or constructive criticism. And it’s quite another to put him in an awkward position, scolding, humiliating and reprimanding him, like parents in childhood. All this will not lead to anything good, even if you make comments in a humorous manner. It's even worse when this happens in the presence of other people. Such behavior is a sign of disrespect for the partner and can easily split the relationship.

6. Lack of kind words

When you tell your loved one that you appreciate, understand, and are proud of them, the relationship blossoms. Conversely, when you skimp on kind words, it forces your partner to fill in the gaps themselves. Of course, everyone has their own love language and their own character. However, verbal approval is essential in any long-term relationship.

7. Avoidance of emotional intimacy

Physical contact is important. But it is also important for partners to know that they can trust each other and open up their feelings when necessary. You need to be able to experience both the good and the bad together.

If you are looking for close emotional connection in your relationships with friends or believe that your union with your partner is emotionally unsafe, this is a bad signal. After all, it is emotional intimacy that often becomes the “glue” that holds couples together in difficult times.

8. Verbal violence

Absolutely anyone violence has no place in a healthy relationship. Insults destroy a partner's self-esteem, as a result he stops sharing his true feelings. All this leads to an emotional break.

9. Empty promises

If you promise to do something, it doesn’t matter - clean the apartment or pick up the children from school, do it. Be honest and open about what you are and are not ready for. It's better to refuse outright than to make promises that you never intend to keep.

10. Broken trust

Infidelity, lies about money, broken promises—trust can be broken in a variety of ways. If you are not sincere and do not take responsibility for your words and actions, your loved one begins to draw their own conclusions about you and your relationship. Most often, trust is destroyed when we think only about ourselves. Try to remember that everything you do can affect your partner.