How childhood in an incomplete family affects adulthood and what can be done about it

According to statistics, in Russia there are slightly more than 30% of families in which children bring up single mothers, in another 7% of cases this is done by single fathers. Experts believe that at least every third minor child lives in an incomplete family. And often childhood with one parent has a noticeable impact on adult life. Which one - we will figure it out in this article, but first we will determine which family can generally be called incomplete.

What family is considered incomplete

In textbooks on psychology incomplete called a family that consists of one parent and one or more minor children.

In theory, such families are divided into several types. For example, incomplete simple families are singled out, in which there is a mother or father and a child, and extended ones - with a mother or father, a child and other relatives. In addition, there are functionally incomplete families. They have both parents, but for professional or other reasons, they do not take part in

education children, that is, they are in the family only nominally.

In practice, things are not so clear. The results of studies and expert opinions about how childhood in different single-parent families affects the child in the future, and whether it does at all, are rather ambiguous.

What problems can a child from an incomplete family have?

To begin with, it should be noted that single-parent education has its advantages. For example, children from broken families show more practical and less prone to romantic impulses than children from intact families. In addition, they take their safety more seriously and put forward higher demands for their wages. Children whose parents divorced, are much more likely to want to work for themselves rather than for someone else, and generally strive for independence.

However, studies also show the other side of childhood in an incomplete family. For example, Russian specialists compared ideas about the future family life of adolescents from complete and incomplete families. Almost none of those who grew up with only one adult portrayed their family of origin.

This shows that in adolescence, the absence of a father is hard to experience, especially if it is accompanied by material difficulties. In the drawings of such children, experts also noticed manifestations of aggression, resentment and hostility towards their parents. At the same time, it turned out that financial problems affect boys more, and completeness of the family is more important for girls.

According to research by psychologists from the United States, teenage girls from single-parent families had twice as many sexual intercourses and were more likely to become pregnant by age 17 compared to girls who grew up with a father in the early stages of development. A study in Australia showedthat delinquent adolescents who grew up without a father are much more likely to abuse alcohol. However, other factors may also lead to the choice of such a path, for example, the low social status of the family or constant absenteeism from school.

Gathering material for books about women with divorced parents, family therapist Terri Gaspar has identified several scenarios in which girls who grew up without a father build romantic relationships. The first is distrust and suspicion. The second is the desire to receive care and approval through sex. The third is codependency, because due to low self-esteem, such girls are much more difficult to resist. manipulation.

However, despite the inconsistency of research, many experts are sure that an incomplete family is quite capable of giving the child a full-fledged upbringing and minimizing potential negative consequences.

How to work through childhood in an incomplete family

The best way, of course, is to consult a psychologist. Each situation is different, and the problems that adults may attribute to their childhood in an incomplete family are not necessarily related to it. Only a specialist will help to figure out how a particular person was affected by the absence of one of the parents and what will help correct the situation.

Another working option is to study useful literature on the topic and try to work out some points on your own. Psychologist Elena Kotova advises starting with three books:

• Stephanie Stahl, "The Child Inside You Must Find a Home";
• Lindsey Gibson, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents;
• Geoffrey Young, Janet Klosko, Break the Circle!