10 psychological theories that will help win over anyone
Miscellaneous / / August 16, 2023
A knowledge base on how to influence people and recognize if they are trying to influence you.
The ability to influence others and convince them is closely related to psychology. To negotiate with people and get everything you need from them, you need to understand the peculiarities of their thinking and behavior. The following 10 theories will help you master this skill and learn how to defend yourself from other people's influence.
1. Copy (gain) hypothesis
When we speak with confidence about our attitude towards something, this attitude is copied and is fixed in the mind of our interlocutor. The rule also works in reverse: when we express doubt, the other person also begins to hesitate.
How to use
If you want to convince someone to become, for example, a supporter of democracy, you need to confidently agree and actively support the interlocutor when he talks about it. And when he talks about other political regimes, he shows only vague agreement.
How to protect yourself
To do this, you need to behave opposite to the interlocutor: if he appeals to logic, react emotionally, and vice versa.
2. Conversion Theory
According to this theory, a minority in a group Maybe exert a disproportionate influence on the majority. Most often, the most receptive to a different opinion are the majority supporters who agreed with a certain position because it was easy or because they did not see an alternative. Therefore, even if you belong to a minority, you can convince the interlocutor of your point of view by defending it consistently and confidently.
How to use
Let's say you are on the board of shareholders of a company. At the next meeting, the majority votes for a merger with another company, but you do not agree with it. Following the theory of conversion, you first publicly ask difficult and uncomfortable questions about the decision, for example, at the next meeting. And then you take it in turns to talk privately with the other shareholders about whether the merger makes sense in principle. In this way, you can carefully win over more supporters to your side and gradually turn the situation in your favor.
How to protect yourself
When a minority opposes you, try to immediately expose their methods and be the first to voice the message they bring to those around you.
3. Information manipulation theory
She suggeststhat the persuasive person deliberately violates one of the four rules of conversation:
- quantities - the information must be complete;
- quality - the information must be true;
- relationships - information should be relevant and relevant to the topic of discussion;
- manners - information should be clear and easy to understand.
How to use
If you are, for example, a student who is late turning in a coursework, then in order to pity the teacher, you can say that your dog got sick, you had to take him to the vet and that's why you detained work. You will sacrifice the quality of information, but you may not get a bad mark.
How to protect yourself
Doubt everything you are told, especially if the information you receive makes you change your mind. Always carefully check the details and look for evidence.
4. Priming
The essence of this phenomenon is that certain incentives affect on our thoughts or actions in the near future, even if they seem to have nothing to do with each other.
For example, you can say the word “cinema” in one sentence and “theater” in another sentence to lead the interlocutor to the thought of a cinema. Or you can watch a horror movie in the evening, and then be afraid to sleep alone, although its plot was about a completely different situation.
How to use
Let's say you provide a service. To convince people to become your customers, give them the opportunity to use your service without any conditions. They should feel the benefits of what you have to offer, but not feel like you are trying to force it on them. When people try it, it stimulates them to think about your service and, most likely, they will return to place an order, even if they had no idea that they might need something like that before.
How to protect yourself
When you start thinking about something during a conversation or after meeting someone, stop and figure out what exactly could be causing you to think about it.
5. Reciprocity norm
This is a well-known generally accepted rule, which is formulated very simply - quid pro quo.
How to use
Give people what they truly appreciate. For example, help a friend move. Then, in a difficult situation, you can ask him for a reciprocal favor, and he will most likely will feel obligated to help you.
How to protect yourself
Be careful when strangers offer you something, especially if they want something from you in return. You can always say "thank you" in return for someone's favor and politely say "no" if you are asked for a mutual favor.
6. Scarcity Principle
We want what is not enough. And this desire intensifies as we foresee the feeling of regret that missed great opportunity because they didn't act fast enough.
How to use
Let's say you need your partner to choose the one you like from two options. To influence his decision, say that this option will only be available for a limited amount of time. In addition, it will not be superfluous to hint that other people are also interested in it, and demand exceeds supply.
In personal life and business, the principle of scarcity can be used in another way - to portray inaccessibility. To get attention, let the person know that your time is valuable and that you are not wasting it on nonsense.
How to protect yourself
When you feel like buying something "in short supply" or spending time with someone who is rarely free, think about whether you really need it or if it's the elusiveness itself that appeals to you.
7. Sleeper effect
It lies in the fact that the influence of information on our opinion weakens over time, with the exception of information from unreliable sources. At first we ignore it and perceive it as implausible, but gradually the connection between information and its source is lostand we begin to believe them.
For example, a colleague told you that some bank is cheating customers. Later, you found out that this is a “duck” that competitors launched. However, you will most likely continue to be wary of him and not want to use his services.
How to use
If you are promoting a service, communicate its benefits to as many people as possible in a bright and persuasive way, using all available means, including social media posts and face-to-face meetings. Gradually, you will form a positive attitude towards your service, and everyone will forget that you were the source of information.
How to protect yourself
Regardless of whether you rely on reliable data or rumors, always look for the source of information and double-check it when making a decision.
8. social impact
We succumb the influence of other people depending on how we perceive our relationship with them. For example, we trust the opinion of authoritative experts, large companies or our friends.
How to use
To convince a person to buy your product, mention that it is already used by influential people or endorsed by well-known organizations. Sometimes it's enough just to say that your friends have the same one and they are very happy with it.
How to protect yourself
Analyze your response to social influences and notice if you change your behavior or opinion under its influence. The more you study yourself, the less others will be able to manipulate you intentionally or unconsciously.
9. Yale's Approach to Attitude Change
He based on Yale University's multi-year research on persuasive communication. The approach, which can be briefly described by the phrase “who says what to whom”, takes into account a variety of factors:
- The speaker must be liked by the audience and inspire confidence in it.
- The message should not look like an explicit belief.
- Arguments should be versatile, but the “wrong” one must be refuted.
- If two speakers speak one after the other, it is better to speak first.
- If there is a pause between two speakers, it is better to speak second.
- During persuasion, it is important to distract the audience.
- The greatest impact can be exerted on people with a low level of intelligence and moderate self-esteem, as well as on people aged 18-25 years.
How to use
Adopt the techniques of bright public figures. They look great, and when they refute the point of view of opponents, they first present it as reasonable, and then emphasize its flaws. As a result, everything looks as if a pleasant person is simply making arguments that do not contradict common sense.
How to protect yourself
Observing the speakers will also help in this, as well as knowing the basic rules of this approach. Thanks to them, you will be able to notice when they are trying to impress you and influence your opinion.
10. Absolute terms
According to this theory, some words possess greater power than others, because they carry a special meaning, including cultural. Absolute terms are positive and negative. For example, when we talk about health, the words “safe” and “prosperous” will be positive, and the words “sick” and “old” will be negative.
How to use
Use positive absolute terms when you describe what you want to show in the best light, and use negative terms when you mention what you need to dislike. Only this must be done very carefully and unobtrusively, otherwise others will understand that you are trying to impose your vision on them.
How to protect yourself
When people use absolute terms too actively, you should be wary: perhaps they are trying to mislead or deceive you.
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