5 Signs It's Time to Change Your Relationship
Miscellaneous / / July 13, 2023
Strengthening the relationship by avoiding discussing problems is unlikely to succeed.
How to know when it's time to change something
Sometimes we are faced with clear signs that signal that something needs to be changed for the better for everyone. We analyze the most common situations.
1. You're stuck in a circle of problems
The same words that you repeat dozens of times, the same scenarios for the development of conflicts. And it seems that you have already discussed the issue and seem to have even decided something, but now you are talking about everything again as if for the first time.
This is a signal to rise above the problem and take a closer look at exactly how you are trying to solve it. Obviously, by continuing to do the same thing again and again, you will not only not get out of this situation, but with each new round you will feel more and more powerless in front of it.
Resentment, irritation, indignation will only accumulate, and all this over time can become a weighty reason for parting.
Try to analyze recurring problems and agree with your partner to behave differently than you are used to.
For example, if every time you scolded the second half for dirty dishes, now praise for the fact that the plates are washed. Previously, you were offended and went to another room for the whole evening - but now stay and try to discuss how to come to a compromise.
Unfortunately, it is not always possible to see those cyclesin which we find ourselves, and interrupt them. And in this case, you should seek help from a family psychologist - especially if you have been in a relationship for a long time.
2. You do not discuss problems and desires
You do not talk about what exactly does not suit you in relationships and in each other, accumulate dissatisfaction and speak out to third parties, such as friends or relatives.
Of course, discussing your desires and problems directly with a partner can be scary: there is always a chance to offend, disappoint, anger him. However, an unspoken problem is an unsolvable problem. And with such problems jokes are bad. You can get used to some, but most often this leads to complete manipulation and games to relationships that are excruciatingly painful.
There are various reasons why a couple does not talk. The easiest option is when there is no such experience. In this case, different questions for couples will help - they can be found on the Internet. And there are special notebooks And games for couples. Both partners should take turns answering, thus moving towards a better explanation of their needs and desires.
For example: “What in our relationship gives you the most joy?”, “Do you have secret ambitions?”, “What made you laugh today?” and so on. Of course, it is important to listen carefully to the partner's answers and be sincere in order for this to be effective.
Another thing is if the conversation does not work out, because any statements about their problems and desires lead to strong emotions and conflict. Then such a game can become just another reason to quarrel. In this case, it is better to contact a family psychologist who can help you hear each other and show how your emotional triggers work.
3. You don't understand what's going on between you
If there is no clarity in your relationship, there are many doubts and fears inside, then this may signal a crisis period in an already established couple. One way or another, the ambiguity is associated with changes that are worth understanding: to understand what exactly is happening, what do you like it or not, what are the pitfalls and what can be done to improve situation.
This is where constant communication will help. Discuss how things are now and where you want to end up.
It may seem that everything is already clear, because you are constantly in front of each other and you know that who is having. But this is an illusion, and the feeling of crisis is just proof that nothing is clear.
And this needs to be dealt with. Often couples avoid such conversations in order not to face painful new information or an unpleasant truth. But such a collision is the only way to resolve everything for the better.
4. You are not attracted to each other
You can live together, but sometimes it's more like cohabitation than intimacy. You are more interested in doing anything separately and you will always prefer meeting with friends to an evening together. Even if you really have no claims to each other, full-fledged relations it is difficult to name such a format of coexistence.
Perhaps the case is moving towards an end, but you are afraid to admit it. Or you find it difficult to get too close to another person. One way or another, this is worth dealing with.
Relationships can really die if you're just not interested and don't feel good together. But it happens that the matter is in a lack or excess of intimacy. You know exactly which case is yours. If proximity is not enough, then you need to figure out how to fix it.
Sharing new experiences, getting to know each other, and talking about topics you don't usually talk about can help.
If there is too much intimacy, you need to look for opportunities for distancing and creating personal space. Personal hobbies and passions, individual friends, and your own ambitious goals will help you see each other at an attractive distance.
5. You periodically break up and get back together
And finally, the last common sign of problems in a relationship is constant parting, which end with the next restoration of relations. Being together is hard, being apart is impossible. At the same time, all the problems within the relationship do not disappear, and every time you try again and again to arrange an escape.
This is a fairly common and yet problematic model of relationships. And often it is associated with the signs that we examined above: the inability to solve the problem, the difficulty in discussing it, the fear of intimacy.
It can be very difficult to change this without a specialist, as there are many nuances that need to be learn to understand, experience, correct, and in such pairs, the resource is usually exhausted by endless gaps and reunions.
How to decide to change
All of these situations are a good reason to start working on relationships. Psychologists have been helping couples deal with these issues for decades. They have developed a rich set of practices and techniques to help solve even very difficult issues. Joint therapy is a great opportunity to save a couple and strengthen the relationship with the person you care about.
But you can try to improve the relationship yourself. Here's how to do it:
- Talk more often not only about everyday affairs, but also about each other, your dreams, desires, interests.
- Be together in new places, get new joint experiences and discuss it.
- Spend time with each other so that your attention is not distracted by extraneous tasks.
- Keep your personal space, your interests and personal friends. Set aside days for yourself.
- Do not run away from conflicts, learn to talk about complex things calmly and kindly.
- Praise each other more and scold each other less. Emphasize how important your partner is to you. Do something nice for no reason.
- Read literature on family relationships, such as books Sue Johnson or Esther Perel.
Read also🧐
- How to understand when it's worth fighting for a relationship, and when it's time to put an end to it
- Competition in the family: why it occurs and how to get out of such a scenario
- "Let's take a break from the relationship?" Is it worth it to part for a while and how to do it right