4 Ways We Use Every Day to Escape Our Emotions

Think about the last time you felt your body tense and on edge. Maybe your partner was very late, and you could not get through to him all evening. Or your computer crashed right before an important deadline. Maybe your kid threw a tantrum in the middle of the store. Or you were waiting for test results at the hospital.

Now remember how you reacted to stress. Ate a whole bag of cookies? Began to maniacally clean up the kitchen? Have you succumbed to an irresistible desire to scroll through the feed on the social network? Did a great shopping spree online store?

In moments of extreme tension, we try with all our might to withdraw from our own inner life, because we come face to face with our vulnerability. We are provoked by unpleasant sensations in the body that precede the raging emotions inside. And we are ready to do anything to escape from them.

How do we avoid emotions?

1. Minimization and distraction

This is when we are overcome by a sudden desire to do business, eat, drink, go shopping or just take a walk. In this way, we shift our attention from our emotions to something else, often automatically.

Our inner experiences tell us about our vulnerability, and we deliberately or unconsciously dismiss them as something insignificant. We ignore our body's stress signals and continue to exhaust ourselves until we reach exhaustion. burnout, depression or physical illness.

2. control and anxiety

Often, without feeling sorry for ourselves, we reject the reality of our vulnerability. We crave certainty and control in a world that can offer us neither. We notice our discomfort, and then we try to control ourselves or the world around us in order to get rid of this feeling.

We are experiencing and scroll dire scenarios in my head, hoping to prepare for any eventuality. We ask ourselves, "What if..." and try to find solutions to every problem we can think of.

All of this is exhausting. If only because real life offers much more options for the development of events than we can imagine.

3. self-flagellation

The habit of constantly engaging in self-criticism may be related to childhood experiences. If a child is left alone with himself when he shows powerful emotions, he learns to see the connection between vulnerability and loneliness. And now, as an adult, he tells himself that he would be fine if he made more effort, was smarter, nicer, more attractive, patient, or acted differently.

This creates a tough, harsh internal environment that leads to superficial emotional experiences, low self-esteem, and possibly depression.

4. Emotional masquerade

If it is experienced as sadness and looks like sadness, is it sadness? No. Sometimes very different feelings take the trouble to move us away from the pain. If in childhood we banned angry, we can be sad during quarrels. If sadness was considered a weakness, we may get angry and push people away when we are sad. Or feel guilty about being angry at someone we care about.

All these “false” feelings can drive us into a dead end, from which we will not get out until we deal with real emotions - those that we actually experience.

Why You Shouldn't Ignore Your Emotions

The science confirmsthat people who avoid all emotions, both negative and positive, are at greater risk of experiencing depression. In addition, the suppression of feelings also affects our physical condition, for example raises chance of developing heart disease.

Instead of avoiding the emotions that are caused by vulnerability, it is worth changing the approach. Try to learn slow down and really feel your body to calm the nervous system and connect to your deepest experiences. This will allow you to release the need to control everything that leads to anxiety, get rid of self-criticism that causes apathy, and feel the strength that lies in vulnerability.

Contact with our emotions brings us a huge benefit. He helps us find the meaning of life soften action of stress, more consciously accept solutions and balance mental health.

We do not need to distance ourselves from our pain and avoid it. It also has the charm of life. When we feel tension, it is a signal that we are vulnerable, and vulnerability helps our personal growth. Emotions are an energy that can not only transform our personality, but also bring us closer to a richer, more authentic life.