What to do if you can't stand your partner's friends

In any relationship, there comes a time when you have to meet your partner's friends. But acquaintance is not always pleasant, and we find ourselves in a delicate situation. On the one hand, we want to cut some people out of our partner's life because we don't like them. On the other hand, getting between your loved one and his friends would be dishonest, because we also have a social circle that we cherish. A few tips will help you find a way out of a predicament and keep the peace in a couple.

What to do if you don't like your partner's friends

1. Understand the reasons for your feelings

Think about what annoys you about your partner's friends and make a list if that makes it easier for you. For example, you may not like their lifestyle. Or they remind you of someone unpleasant from your past. Or they create around themselves a repulsive atmosphere in which you are uncomfortable to be.

In addition, chatting with friends can open up a partner for you from a side that you usually do not see. Perhaps, next to them, he turns into a different person, or it seems to you that they are a bad influence on him. Sometimes we direct negative emotions at our partner's friends, when in fact our feelings should be aimed at him.

2. Talk to a partner

Once you've identified what's bothering you, talk frankly with your loved one. Choose a moment when you are both in a good mood and ready to listen to each other (definitely not after a hard day at work). Such a conversation will help everyone: you will understand why your partner communicates with people you don’t like, and he will get the opportunity to look at the situation through your eyes.

Be careful in wording and delicately share your experiences. Use phrases with the pronoun “I”, for example “I feel ...”, so that the partner remains open to your words and does not go into a defensive position. Remind him that you only want the best for him and that you care about him.

3. Get to know your partner's friends better

Of course, the third is often superfluous. Still, try to arrange a meeting with a partner and one of his friends. You can invite him over if live together, or meet in a cafe for a cup of coffee. It is possible that a friend will pleasantly surprise you, and the presence of a partner will help you relax and feel comfortable.

Before meeting, ask your loved one if you have anything in common with his friend. Such "points of contact" help to find a topic for conversation with unfamiliar interlocutors and establish closer communication.

4. Accept them and don't jump to conclusions

You must trust partner's decisions about what kind of people he wants to see in his environment. This is the best thing you can do for yourself first of all. Accept the fact that from time to time you will have to intersect with friends of a loved one, and try to communicate with them with an open mind. You will not only start to have a better time in meetings, but also keep the peace in the relationship.

How to protect your relationship with your partner

1. Set boundaries

Just avoid ultimatums in the spirit of "either me or them." The partner should not choose between you and other people who are dear to him, this will only drive a wedge into your relationship. Even if a loved one stays with you, he may hold a grudge because you put him before such a difficult choice.

Instead, set healthy boundaries and agree on how often you are willing to see your partner's friends and how much time you want to spend alone with him. So you will communicate less with people who are in the spirit can't stand, and your partner will not have to sacrifice anyone.

2. Encourage your partner to meet friends without you

If a loved one cares about you and wants you to be happy, they may subconsciously distance themselves from friends you don't like. At first, this will play into your hands, but later it will most likely turn into a problem, because it will leave an unpleasant aftertaste.

So when friends call your partner to see you, motivate him to go to meetings without you. In the meantime, you can chat with your friends or take care of yourself. In the end, everyone needs their own personal spaceand friendship is important whether you're in a relationship or not.

3. Don't let your partner's friends become part of your relationship

Of course, if something in them annoys or worries you, you should talk about it with your loved one. But the rest of the time, do not pay too much attention to the topic of friends. Try to think less about them and focus on yours. happy life with a partner.

What kind of relationship do you have with your loved one's friends? Share your stories in the comments.