SELECTION: The art of saying no

This post was written by one of the candidates for authorship Layfhakere Nikita Galkin. Just how much you enjoy the material, it depends on whether he would write in our blog. Express your gratitude by pressing one or more buttons social card sharing or writing your thoughts in the comments.

Each of us at least once in life was refused. Hearing "no" so unpleasant that we seek to deny ourselves less, especially our loved ones. As a result of the extra responsibilities at work or at the weekend that you spend is not the way I wanted. IN psychology of communication It said that people are often afraid to offend their refusal. It is therefore important to be able to say "no" politely. Ideally, make asking himself refused the request.

You need time to refuse. Agree, it would be unpleasant if you slaughtered in mid-sentence. Therefore, say "no" or just barely on the horizon loomed the request, or listen to all the details and make it clear to the person that you understand his request.

bounce options. Disclaimer - this is the psychological impact. So expect the force with which you apply it.

nonverbal rejection

It is the most gentle way to failure. You do not actually deny, and give the other party to understand that they have to give up. It looks like this:

- Pause
- Eye contact
- a half-smile (as if you are glad that you asked, but regrets that he can not accept the request)
- Address by the name
- Pause

All this fits in 1-2 seconds. Delicate people it perceives as a failure. If this does not work, you can turn on for a short while "myamlika" (so often do the Swedes). That is to say something like "Nuuuu», «mmmmm», «How to say to you…». Thereby you show how you find it difficult to refuse. If this does not help, amplify the degree of failure.

Denial-of regret

This is the stronger form than non-verbal refusal. But it also applies to soft. The best way possible to deny the British. Let us remember the lessons from the school:

- "I'm sorry ...» (Sorry ...)
- "I am afraid that ...» (I'm afraid ...)
- "I have to ...» (I have to ...)

Then, without going into details, can you explain why in fact refused. Example: "I'm sorry, but the circumstances are such that I am forced to give up."

final rejection

Quite often in our culture soft failure is not perceived as a "no." Therefore, you may need to apply a rigid form. Using not only words of regret, but also "a refusal", "my answer is no -" "This is my final decision," "no point", you will be able to convey to his interlocutor final discreet "no." Example: "I'm sorry, but I can not help you. This is the final decision. "

to postpone the decision

This is the easiest way. Just do not forget to then contact those who ask, and to report his refusal. Of course, in compliance with the above recommendations.

And in the end banal advice. If you often have to make a decision on the refusal of one and the same issues, the guidelines specify when to say no. Here is a sample chart from Jessica Hix "Do I have to work for free?". Amounting to something like that, you get rid of the pressure of the moment and remove the moral responsibility for each their "no".

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