“I completely let go of myself during sex”: how I did a vasectomy at 25 and what came of it

How I decided to have an operation and passed the bureaucratic quest

In my youth, I carefully studied the topic of male contraception: what can I do on my part so that my partner does not become pregnant. I came to the fact that only two main methods lie on the surface: condoms and abstinence. Certified hormonal contraceptives for men No, so when you buy something innovative via the Internet, you never know how your body will react. In general, between condoms (which I have always been very uncomfortable), abstinence and vasectomy, I quickly and easily chose the latter.

Finding a clinic where this can be done has become a much more difficult ordeal. In Russia you can Get a vasectomy only if you are over 35 or if you already have two children. Of course, in any case, you will do this operation at your own expense, since the ability to conceive a child does not directly threaten your life in any way and is not covered by the CHI system.

At the moment when I realized that I definitely want a vasectomy and definitely not ready to have two children for this, I was 25 years old. That's where the whole problem came from.

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First, I agreed on a week's vacation at work and decided to fly to Kyiv for 7 days (it was 2016), because in Ukraine the issue of vasectomy is devoid of bureaucracy. A friend made me a certificate-call so that I could tell at the border that I was going to visit her and avoid detailed questions. Still, a vasectomy might not be a convincing enough reason for medical tourism.

Preparing for the trip, I continued read on the forums stories of people who have already gone through a vasectomy, and suddenly met a man of his own age. This, of course, interested me very much: “How is this even possible ?!”

He said that he lives in St. Petersburg and at some point, having despaired of overcoming legislative barriers, he became call all private clinics in a row: “I have such a case, will you perform the operation?” Finally, one institution responded: "Let's do it."

He came and had a vasectomy without any proof of age and having children.

I thought: “What the hell is not joking?” I took the number of this clinic, called, I say:

“I want to get a vasectomy, but I’m 25 and don’t have kids.

- No problem, come.

How was the operation

The whole procedure of surgical sterilization from the initial examination to leaving the clinic took me a maximum of an hour and a half and cost 26,500 rubles. The most painful moment during the vasectomy was the injection of local anesthesia. After the operation, I did not feel any strong discomfort and, probably, I could immediately go to work. But I was already on vacation, so I skipped the whole week on Peter.

The doctor who performed my operation was completely devoid of a commercial spark in the style: “Oh, since you came, I’ll do it anyway you a vasectomy!" On the contrary, he very calmly explained to me all the pitfalls and only after that offered to sign agreement. The most obvious complication is a slightly increased chance of spermatocele (testicular cysts), but it can be managed surgically or medically. So I wouldn't say it scared me. I was also pleasantly surprised by the administrators of the clinic - women of retirement age.

Hello, are you joining us? Is a vasectomy scalpelless? Please sit on the sofa and fill out the form. Bring you tea?

I was subdued by the fact that people brought up by the Soviet Union can refuse stereotypes and it is normal to perceive a person's choice, even if it does not intersect with their views on life.

What loved ones said

At the time of the operation, I was in a relationship with a girl and, of course, told her that I was flying to St. Petersburg and doing a vasectomy there. She didn’t actively support me, but she didn’t dissuade me in any way. We both understood that this was completely my area of ​​​​responsibility and it was useless to try to somehow influence from outside here.

After the fact, I told my relatives about the operation. Received both supportive and a sharply negative reaction - a whole bunch of emotions. However, it always happens in life. When the deed is done, then everything depends on how well you know how to restore relationships.

I didn't hide my vasectomy from my friends either. Those who are more family-oriented wondered why everything had to be decided so radically. Those who have already had the required number of children and regularly use contraception asked me for the clinic’s data. But, however, most often then the question arose in their family: “What if we want children again?” And the topic of vasectomy subsided.

What's next?

Within 3-5 years after the operation, fertility can be quite successfully restored with the help of a vasectomy reversal - vasovasostomy. Then sperm motility continues to fall, and after 10 years the chances of recovery are already quite low.

It's been six years since my vasectomy. My reluctance to become a father has not changed in any way over the years, and I have never thought about vasovasostomy. About a month after the vasectomy, I began to perceive myself as an infertile person and I feel very comfortable in this role.

Sexual sensations have not changed in any way. The only thing is that I relaxed a lot more, because I know that now I have no risk of fertilizing my partner.

Due to this, I completely let go of myself during sex. At the moment of ejaculation, I have exactly the same as before, ejaculate spermit just doesn't have sperm anymore.

I am a supporter of long-term relationships. On the shore, you can take tests, understand that you are safe for each other, and live in peace, having sex as much as you like. This is a qualitatively new level of freedom.

I inform potential partners about sterility at the stage of acquaintance. And then the person himself understands: yes - yes, no - no. The possibility of having children is still a fairly global topic, and there is no reason to start something together if one partner sees one result of the relationship, the other sees another.

When to and not to have a vasectomy

Vasectomy is the optimal solution for people who have already raised children and are looking for a way to get rid of contraception in their lives. This is a minor surgical operation that does not affect the life of a man afterwards. Tubal ligation - a much more traumatic procedure with serious consequences for the female body.

I don't think a vasectomy is a good solution for a person who prefers one-off sex. You can no longer fertilize, but you still use condoms all the time - and what then is the joy?

And it seems to me that a vasectomy is not needed for someone who does not want children because of insufficient money or because of the political situation.

Life is very changeable, and in three years you may well find yourself a millionaire in a completely different country. Youthful maximalism, combined with a certain amount of egoism, lead to the fact that a person may then want to do the reverse operation.

For myself, I am calm in this regard: my decision did not depend on external factors. And if it suddenly changes for some reason, then first I will try a vasovasostomy. Since there is some minimal chance of recovery, why not? Moreover, there will be ECO: Spermatozoa can be tried by testicular biopsy.

Vasovasostoomy will cost 100-120 thousand rubles, but if a person really plans to support a child later, then this seems to be a penny.

Why vasectomy is still not popular with us

Vasectomy never became a popular method of contraception in Russia, firstly because of the low level of medical education. Most people do not know about this method from the word at all. When I talk about my operation, sometimes they ask me: “Well, is there something except for condoms? Come on!" Even the spiral is often beyond the comprehension of many people...

Second, we have a high level of family values ​​in Russia. For people of Soviet hardening, the most important thing in life is the presence and well-being of children and grandchildren. Then these values ​​are broadcast by younger people. Therefore, vasectomy does not have mass popularity.

Yes, in principle, and should not be - this is a radical method. For most people, this decision will not become completely independent, but rather be inspired by the opinions of others or the same popularity. From mistakes do not leave, mass vasovasostomies will begin. They will not always be successful, and painful consequences cannot be avoided here. So the low level of information about vasectomy is quite good for society. Who seeks, he will find. Anyone who is interested will know. No more.