7 steps to gain confidence

We are all trying to achieve something in this life. In order not to turn away from the intended path, you need a powerful incentive that will move forward. They may well be a belief in yourself, if you know how to use it wisely.

Here is a list of the most popular targets for the implementation of which people tend more often:

• find a prestigious work;
• meet the love of his life;
• become an author whose work is published;
• learn a new language and begin to speak fluently on it;
• to start a business that will generate a steady income.

Even if in the above list for some reason was not your dream come true, this does not negate the fact that self-confidence does not apply.

Belief in yourself - it's a guiding star, which does not allow us to stumble over the thorny and tortuous path to the target.

People are quite capable to turn off the mountains and do the impossible if they are fed by a belief in the right thing. In which? We will tell. This article is in no case does not claim to an exhaustive guide to the attainment of self-confidence, but it can be a good starting point. After reading it you will see that is perfectly possible to imagine goals, stick to them and go to the end.

The key is that you will not think badly about yourself, even if you throw conceived halfway. Just because you have even thought this would arise. Just because you know what exactly you reach the target. Such is the magic item. Let's start already.

1. Think positively

From how you articulate your beliefs, it depends on how firmly you will adhere to them. They are also affected and how you behave and how to follow the principles of life.

For our time is a very significant philosophical current like stoicism. It makes it quite accurately determine whether or not you follow their convictions properly.

Stoicism - ancient philosophical school, which was founded in 300 BC, the ancient Greek philosopher Zeno of Citium.

If you explain briefly, the essence of the teachings is that we have to live wisely.

The basic principle of Stoicism is as follows:

Focus on what you can control, and ignore the fact that they can not control.

Sounds good and pretty simple, does not it? Yet, why are there still so many people in the world to spend time and energy on something that they can not change?

This is because we are constantly haunted by the feeling of guilt. We tell ourselves, "I can not do anything about it", "I can not change anything" - thus trying to absolve themselves of responsibility for the defeat and failure.

Let's again recall the above-mentioned common goals and see how people justify themselves when they do not reach:

• find a prestigious job - it's because of the crisis; I have little experience; I'm not fit for this position;
• meet the love of my life - I'm too fat / thin / terrible / clumsy; It is always someone better than me; I do not trust people;
• become an author whose work is published - I'm not so good writing; publishers do not have appreciated my creation; I have too little time to do it;
• learn a new language and start speaking it fluently - no time to practice speaking skills; I am embarrassed to its pronunciation; native speakers will not understand me;
• open businessThat will generate a steady income - too much competition; no one will have to buy me; I do not have a lot of money.

Sounds familiar?

That's what usually people and set themselves goals: incorrectly determine the final outcome, find excuses, frustrated and give up. Let's be honest: you're just at the outset did not believe in its success! You from the beginning directed himself on the wrong path and deliberately tried to achieve what, in principle, can not be achieved at all (based on your same excuses). As if you were planning to crank it all?

People reach their goals only when from the very beginning set up for success.

Taking into account the first principle of Stoicism, try a little reformulated list of goals. Get something like this:

• find a prestigious job - communicate with hiring managers as often as possible, do not get hung up on any one company;
• meet the love of your life - try meet with someone new every week;
• become author, Whose work is published - start a blog is regularly published about him is what think is important to inform their subscribers;
• learn a new language and start speaking it fluently - select at least 15 minutes a day to talk / listen / read / write in the language you're learning;
• to start a business that will generate a steady income - spend some certain amount of time per week on advertising and promotion, until you find something that really works.

Quite another thing, right?

Goals become much clearer when we apply to them the philosophy of Stoicism. They become literal, and you either do something in order to achieve them or not.

Get familiar with the goals that you have set ourselves. Tune in to their successful achievement. Stop a doubt.

2. Keep it simple

Now that we have dealt with the first point, let's try to focus on those tasks that we set ourselves, and how to believe in their implementation.

Keep in mind that we will only pay attention to those things over which we have full control. There is no reason to do something, if you are unsure or in doubt of success. You must be consistent in their beliefs and in their actions.

There are people who believe that they will get a certain result, if you perform some specific action that everybody expects from them. Why is this wrong?

• Firstly, the very waiting for results It is outside the control zone. What's the point just to do something just for the sake to justify someone else's expectations?
• Second, the false expectations in most cases lead to a great disappointment.

You must be prepared for the fact that sometimes it will be somewhat disappointed. We are all humans. There are days when we have a bad mood, everything goes wrong. But this does not mean that we should just give up and cease to perform tasks, which should lead to the goal. We must always do things consistently.

For example, such an experiment was conducted, during which I had to write 100 words a day. It is quite easy, even for those people who do not consider themselves writers. But many have complained that sometimes have absolutely no desire to write, but still did it. Writing 100 words a day, they meet the daily requirement, which required them to experiment, and at the same time grew by 1% better during the day.

When you make a ridiculously easy goal to achieve, there is always something magical:

• you perform the required minimum;
• you begin to want to do much more.

It is much like reverse psychology: the decline to a certain action causes the opposite reaction. The whole secret is to stick to the ridiculous light purposes. This will give you the energy to deal with them. You will do the least and are satisfied. The moment of truth will come when you have a bad day happens. Will you be able to overcome themselves and turn away from the intended?

Every day, do things that will bring you closer to the target. Work on a daily basis to get better. Overcome yourself, even if the date is not specified. Focus on what you can change.

3. Invoke the aid of mathematics

There is another good technique that will help you to multiply and strengthen self-confidence. To monitor your progress, simply count them. For example:

• if you are in sales, earnings are calculated;
• If you are a writer, watch out for the number of views, comments, and readers;
• if you're a marketing expert, track the number of clicks.

Simple math calculation and what results you get by performing certain tasks, It provides an understanding of how fast you are moving toward the goal, and will give a good impetus for further promotion.

We illustrate all of the above specific example, which can take him into service all the writers.

All that can be controlled writer- these are the words that appear on the screen, and the time spent on their writing. Words can make the most compelling, attractive and wise, but if they come do not like the readers, they will not share with anyone read.

There is a theory that the more you write, the more responses you get. This factor can be checked, and then start to manage it.

For example, the author cites the following figures are obtained by personal observation:

• post №1: 500 words - 100 responses, an hour of wasted time;
• post №2: 2000 words - 1000 responses, four hours of wasted time.

Mathematical calculations reveal some regularity, which already can be controlled:

• post №1: 500 words - 0.2 for one word response, response 1.66 per minute;
• post №2: 2000 words - 0.5 for one word response, response 4.16 per minute.

If you take a little large amounts of information, it turns out like this: every written offer is an average of 5-7 responses, that is, five minutes of wasted time worth about 20 responses. Making these small calculations, you will realize that did not waste their time, and will gain confidence in their own abilities.

Use tools that help you control how you are moving towards the goal. This is a very simple and obvious formulas that you want to display a time to remember and apply in those cases where you will want to evaluate their effectiveness. They largely simplify life and allow you to visually assess the results of the effort.

Formulas and calculations to help you gain confidence in yourself and see how close you are to the goal.

4. Release their failures

Do not place excessive goals and be prepared for frustration and failure. Things can go wrong at the last moment and undermine your self-confidence. Do not let the things that you can not control, smash holes in your armor and frustrate you.

Get a special "frustrating journal" in which you will be able to chronicle all the things that upset you, and describe what you feel at the same time. Subsequently, when you re-read it, you can see how small they actually were.

Problems that are described therein, most of them will seem far-fetched and not worth it to them to spend the time and effort. Ideally, you should not let things from the magazine knock you off track. But as a rule, it is easier said than done.

What meaning is that every time meekly accept the blows of fate? Can not you at least sometimes give vent to emotions?

Yes, definitely possible. We're only human. There is another principle of Stoicism, which need to know.

The second most important Stoic principle is as follows:

The worse, the better.

The more negative the situation, the greater its positive potential. Negative emotions always encourage people to act. At first, it is difficult to accept the thought that all of what you have worked so hard, in the end turned into smoke, but later on it will be a huge benefit.

First, ask yourself if this particular failure is your ultimate goal affected. Most often, the answer to this question is negative. Your self-confidence should not be shaken from it. Give yourself time out to recover from the incident, and then get down to business with renewed vigor.

If the failure is still some way influenced the final goal, make sure you think about what went wrong. Take time to reflect on and consider the situation from all sides. Just do not let your emotions take over a top. In any situation, with due diligence, you can always look for the positive.

Failures - are obstacles that are blocking your path to the final goal. They are important and useful, because it teaches us to overcome ourselves, bring the power of will and temper character.

5. Get inspired negative

We are all quite lazy. Some - just tremendously. We need to push all the time and make it do something. But why, then, we still go to work, to communicate with people, doing things that we do not want to do, break your comfort zone? All this happens because of the effect on us of others.

Nothing spurs us better than having an opponent. It does not matter that in the sphere of life it would be: work, sports, personal life, or something else. Nobody wants to feel loser. This is a very powerful motivator and incentive to move forward.

Look for sources of inspiration of the negative is very simple. Life throws them to us at every turn. Can result in the most banal example: our former classmates.

Let's say already about ten years after graduation. Naturally, you will be wondering who and who became who and what is achieved. Think about what is actually the reason for your interest? You just want to compare these people with yourself.

What happened to her now?
Does he still lives with his parents?
I wonder what his car?
She was such a good girl at school, what happened?
Wow, they even have a child!

Yes, maybe it's not the best way to strengthen the high moral and self-confidence, but sometimes the answers to all these questions is really calm.

Honestly, fear lag and the fear of being worse than someone else - one of the best incentives to help us not to give up. Of course, you have to live your own life, but if sometimes in moments of weakness or desperation you want yourself to someone to compare, there is nothing particularly bad will happen. Even if it is not very good, but as long as a negative example strengthens your faith in yourself, it will be quite fair and efficient way.

Sometimes it is useful to assert themselves at the expense of others, but do not abuse it too. Allow yourself a moment of weakness, but do not live by them constantly.

6. Get inspired positive

If you read books about Harry Potter, You probably remember that in order to ward off the dementors (evil spirits that sucked the soul), it was necessary to say a special spell, calling for a Patronus, which frightened them.

To spell worked properly, it was necessary to call in the memory of his most vivid, the most powerful memory that reminded him of the happy moments of life. If the memory was not enough intense, it did not work nothing but a flash of light.

Severus Snape, Potions Master of the same books, from childhood was in love with Lily, the mother of Harry Potter. But she never reciprocated him. However, Severus' love for Lily was his happiest and bright memories. It is always possible to call the professor Patronus if necessary.

- Do you still love her after all these years? - Dumbledore asked.

- Always - Snape said.

When you are not motivated to move on, be sure to remember all the good things that happened to you in life. It can be happy childhood memories, your first love, some general joy that you share with other people. Think about how you once was good, and even think about how many pleasant moments waiting for you ahead.

You will feel a wave of warm memories and be sure to engulf you embolden. It works so positive inspiration that allows revive the memory of all the good things.

I doubt yourself absolutely fine. Even if you are confident enough in their abilities, sometimes you still can not despair and give up. At such moments, call upon the positive memories to help.

7. Do not be invisible

Each of us has to be a person with whom it was possible to share your thoughts and ideas. Every time you tell them to someone, two things happen:

• you strengthen your faith in yourself;
• you have a person who supports you in your endeavors.

People who do not share your belief (ideas, dreams, etc.) will always tell you what to achieve what you want, it is practically impossible. While people who are separated, will serve you good assistants in achieving the goal.

Think of it this way: A person who does not share my beliefs, from the very beginning did not believe in them. Talking with him, I do ourselves a disservice. And to me it's completely useless.

Many people have the habit of keeping all of your ideas and dreams with them. They remain with them forever, as if locked in a drawer novel that never see the light. This can happen for many reasons. People often fear that their ideas will seem to others ridiculous, silly or ridiculous. But they do not think so.

Yes, you can seem to someone silly and ridiculous. Yes, people can you avoid or attack you start to think that you mad. Oddly enough, all of this will only help you to move forward to what you believe. When you are determined to solve the problem, nothing should stand in your way.

Do you have enough courage to take a chance and tell the world about their intentions? If so, such an act would be that same litmus test that will help you test your faith in yourself.

Imagine what would happen if you do just what you like. Would you be happier? Not. You would be much more vulnerable. You would not be able to take risks.

The ability to overcome the difficulties of life - one of the main indicators of personality maturity and its ability to achieve its goals. Do not be afraid to tell the world about yourself.