How to breathe new life into relationships with a productivity plan

What is a Performance Plan

This is an internal official document of the company. It captures recurring issues and specific areas where the employee needs to make efforts to improve the quality and results of their work. If performance indicators do not change according to plan, the company may transfer the employee to another position or fire him. Blogger Nadine Huey decided to use this approach to freshen up her relationship with her partner, and shared your TikTok experience.

In 2020, Nadine and her boyfriend, whom they met for three months and quickly began to live together due to the pandemic, were going through a difficult period. To save the relationship, the girl put the guy on "trial" for the same three months and introduced a "performance improvement plan."

Huey explained that her decision was not an ultimatum, but an attempt to try something new when all the previous ways to find a common language did not work. “I know this may sound harsh to some, but my boyfriend is an engineer. Sometimes it is very difficult to communicate with him if you do not use professional vocabulary that he is already familiar with. Plus, he liked the idea.”

told Nadine in an interview with HuffPost.

She started a general note with daily and weekly tasks that her partner had to complete, and also made a list of things that he needed to work on. This approach paid off - the couple is still together and uses a plan to increase productivity. In addition, Nadine and her boyfriend conduct a kind of test every week to find out how comfortable they are in a relationship. Moreover, Nadine offered to create a plan for her, but the partner has no significant claims against her yet.

How do you know if this plan is right for you?

Nadine was criticized by many for turning personal relationships into working relationships, sealed with something like a contract. But psychologists notethat a performance improvement plan might be a very good idea. It all depends on how you approach the issue.

Any relationship is built on agreements, explicit or hidden. If both believe that a performance improvement plan will help each partner individually and the relationship as a whole, it's worth a try. But if one begins to manipulate the other, treating him like a child or a delinquent bully on "probation", this can seriously harm the dynamics of the relationship.

A good union does not appear out of nowhere. This is the result of the joint efforts of two people who make each other better. That is why a performance improvement plan will only work if it is aimed at both partners and everyone agrees on the benefits this method has to offer.

Nadine's project turned out to be successful because it suited her boyfriend, who loves to put everything on the shelves. She repelled from the strengths of the partner, his preferences and needs - and her plan bore fruit. If your partner loves to-do lists, calendars and schedules and you want to improve something in a relationship, a productivity plan should not be discounted.

Creative people, on the contrary, will find it difficult to switch from the usual spontaneity to a clear organization. Healthy relationships cannot be built if you do not understand what the partner wants. Therefore, in this case, you need to find a way that is right for your couple.

How to use the performance plan

Everything is very individual and depends on your habits and needs, as well as on the habits and needs of your partner. Here are some examples of how you can apply a performance improvement plan to relationships. They will help you understand in which direction to move.

For example, you want to spend more time with your loved one, and he is an introvert by nature. Add to the plan a specific number of dates per week that the partner will have to go with you, as well as Make realistic changes to his schedule that will help him devote enough time to the relationship. time.

If your partner, on the contrary, is an extrovert and constantly brings friends home, and you want to relax after work in silence, include in the plan a point about how many times a week you are ready for home gatherings - for example, only one or twice. Such clear boundaries will help to avoid conflicts.

Another example: you love cleanliness, and your partner is used to living in a creative mess. Make a schedule cleaning for the partner and the rules of living together, which he will be required to comply with, for example, wash the dishes immediately after eating and do not leave clothes on the armchair. This will allow you to gradually find a middle ground between your needs.