How to Stop Unrealistic Expectations from Ruining Your Relationship

How do you know if expectations are unrealistic?

According to the observations of psychologists, people with a similar problem can talk about their experiences like this:

• I know it's unfair, but I often expect my partner to read my mind.
• Why do I feel disappointed every time my partner doesn't live up to my expectations?
• Why is it difficult for me to accept my partner as he is?

If you regularly have similar thoughts, chances are you, like many others, are dealing with unrealistic expectations. Because of them, tension arises in a couple, but this can be overcome with a little effort and work on yourself.

One of the main reasons why unrealistic expectations can be so damaging is that they arise from unrealistic ideas about the relationship itself. For example, someone is sure that the feeling of loneliness and dissatisfaction will forever disappear as soon as he or she finds your soul mate. And someone thinks that he will never quarrel with his partner.

A far from reality view of relationships invariably leads to disappointment. When things don't turn out the way we imagined, it's very easy to blame a partner for not living up to our expectations and not being who we thought they were.

How to get rid of unrealistic expectations in a relationship

First of all, you need to understand when expectations are at odds with reality, and then take steps to correct them. Here are a few tactics to help you do just that.

1. Communicate openly and honestly with your partner

Recently, American psychologists conducted a small study, which gave a visual representation of the role of communication in romantic relationships. We studied 56 couples and found out that the partners between whom an effective communicationare much more satisfied with their union.

An open dialogue where participants hear and respect each other's opinions is a great way to avoid setting unrealistic expectations. Therefore, maintain sincerity and honesty in conversations with a partner, listen to his desires and be ready for compromises. This will save you from misunderstandings and unfulfilled hopes.

2. Be flexible and realistic

Research by psychologist Raymond Nee of the University of Houston showsthat realistic and flexible expectations lead to greater satisfaction and longer lasting relationships. Whereas believing in a “destined” partner who is either made for you or not is less likely to lead to a long-term union.

To be realistic means to understand that ideal relationship does not exist and inevitably there will be difficulties that will have to be overcome. And being flexible means staying open to change and being able to adapt to new situations.

Be prepared to accept that your partner is not perfect and will disappoint you from time to time. And also learn to adjust your expectations if changing circumstances require it.

3. Practice self-reflection and self-awareness

Self-reflection means that you regularly take time to reflect on your own thoughts, feelings, and actions. And self-awareness means that you understand your needs and desires. Research bind and with both, a high degree of satisfaction in the relationship.

When we're doing introspection, it is easier for us to understand how our emotions, thoughts and actions affect our relationships and what expectations we associate with them. And when we understand our needs and desires, it is easier for us to make those expectations clearer and more realistic. Through self-reflection and self-awareness, we can see how to change our relationships for the better.

The ability to manage your expectations is an important condition healthy relationshipsthat will make you happy. By communicating openly and honestly with your partner, staying in the real world and keeping in touch with yourself, you can avoid disappointment and enjoy union with another person.