What is a "circle of control" and how it can give you inner strength

I am a firm believer in the "Find the Balance" mindset. However, I try not to worry too much about things that are out of my control. And my gardener taught me this!

When I asked him how he understood that the plants would be lush blossom and bear fruit, he replied: “I am very good at what I do, but I never know if everything will grow well in the garden. I can only control how I care for him, but not the result. I do my job conscientiously and leave the rest to nature.”

In other words, my gardener focuses on the "circle of control."

Where did the idea of ​​circles come from and what are they

The inspiration for this theory was best-seller Stephen Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. In it, the author notes that all our problems fall either into the circle of concerns or into the circle of influence. The circle of worries is everything that worries us, but that we cannot change. The circle of influence is everything that can be influenced by us.

This model helps us to understand where we should direct our time and energy. Because the circle of influence is within the circle of concern, as one expands, the other shrinks. When we pay attention to what is under our control, the circle of influence increases. But if we are busy worrying about what cannot be changed, it decreases.

One simple conclusion follows from this: do not waste time thinking about issues that are out of our control. Otherwise, there will be no strength left for what can really be changed. It is better to focus on the circle of influence. Solving these problems will help build a happy life.

People with a wide circle of influence are usually considered a positive example for others. And those who have this circle is very small, are perceived as eternal pessimists.

Over time, Covey's theory was transformed and a third circle appeared in it - control. Let's take a closer look at all three options.

circle of worries

It includes any external events, such as political or social changes, pandemics, weather events. The circle of concerns includes everything that is important for a particular person, but that he cannot control. Many people are worried about the weather, but they cannot change it in any way.

Circle of Influence

We are all social beings, so we can influence each other's circles of concern. This is at the heart of the circle of influence. It includes our ability to change the minds of those around us, especially those with whom we have close ties.

relationships in the team, company culturein which you work - all this is included in the circle of influence. If you are worried about working hours, for example, but can change your working hours, this is a circle of influence problem.

The Circle of Influence is a great tool for directing time and energy in the right direction. It can make you more efficient, help you develop yourself, and improve your quality of life.

Circle of Control

This includes how you respond to external factors. Your thoughts, your attitude towards life, your enthusiasm or lack of it - all this is under your control.

In this case, "control" refers to the changes that are made possible by our decisions, whether we agree with them or not. surrounding or not. Thus, the circle of control concerns only ourselves. It is inextricably linked to our conscious selves and our meaningful choices.

For example, deciding whether or not to go to the gym is part of our circle of control. And our friend's decision whether to go to the gym or not belongs to our circle of influence. We cannot control another person and force him to do something. We can only influence him, say, motivate him by personal example or give convincing arguments.

Control is the sum of our knowledge and the decisions we make based on it. So we can only control things that we are aware of.

In this case, most often we act instinctively, without considering the plan of action consciously. We use hackneyed behaviors because we get used to them and they seem obvious to us. In fact, at such moments we go beyond our circle of control.

Habits are not easy learned behavior. They reflect how we see and interpret what is happening around us. Therefore, the deeper the level of our self-knowledge, the better we manage our lives.

What is the benefit of the circle of control

Unfortunately, most of us constantly obsess over what we can't change. Instead, we must first have a good understanding of our circle of influence and devote a reasonable amount of time to it. Every day we need to enter into a dialogue with others, to show ourselves in society, to be attentive to other people. Second, we should ignore the circle of concerns.

This kind of thinking, in which we direct energy primarily to the circle of control, and not to other areas, will be beneficial in any life. situations. Here are a few reasons why this is important.

Encourages action

You probably know the phrase “Like attracts like”. Proactive people are always looking for those with a wide circle of influence. Conversely, they avoid those who are accustomed to react to the world around them, but not to act, closing in on their negative thoughts.

Developed proactive thinking helps us improve productivity and mindfulness, as well as gain new useful links. When we clearly understand not only our circle of influence, but also our circle of control, this allows us to get into the ranks of proactive people and change your outlook on life in such a way as to attract only the best.

Increases productivity

When we know what to focus on first of all, the number of our experiences automatically decreases, and personal effectiveness increases. Everything is simple here: we stop wasting precious time on trifles and start putting all our efforts into achieving goals and implementing projects that are truly important to us.

Improves mental health

In ambiguous situations, our brain often begins to spin a spiral negative thoughts. We colorfully imagine the worst possible scenarios in our heads and finally spoil our mood.

At this point, it is important to make a plan for the future, taking into account what you can control. Solving constructive problems helps to switch from inaction to action, stop the spiral and relieve tension.

The most important advantage of not having constant experiences is an internal feeling of happiness. And it's definitely worth striving for. Knowing your circle of control teaches you to stop in time and consider options.

How to apply the theory of circles in life

When you feel yourself starting to worry about external events, try to consciously focus on those aspects of the situation that are within your control. Remember your priorities and think about them.

Not so long ago, the world was shocked by a pandemic. We could not globally influence it in any way, but some still allowed the negativity to take over. They discussed the worst scenarios instead of taking the steps they could. Back then, that meant wearing masks, donating to charity, maintaining social distancing, and other rules. The rest was out of our circle of control.

Among other negative consequences, being stuck in a circle of worries can provoke the development of fears. All because of thoughts in the style of "what if ...". This kind of thinking leads to additional stress, search guilty and anxiety.

In order to successfully apply the theory of circles in life, all you need is to start focusing on what you can control. This is quite enough.

How to expand your circle of control

If you want your life to be filled with positivity, you need to expand your circle of control. This is quite difficult, because you have to change your beliefs and lifestyle. Start with three steps.

1. Find a purpose

It could be anything. The main thing is that your destiny should become a driving force for you, a beacon showing the way to a life that will completely satisfy you. purpose closely related to the inner sense of the meaning of life. The only nuance is that it can be different in different spheres of our existence.

Start with a common goal - the direction in which you want to move. What is your main life mission? The answer to this question will be the starting point that will help collect the necessary details.

Let's say your overall goal is to achieve absolute peace. This applies to all areas of your life, which means that you need to strive for positive relationships with others, follow mental health, choose a job wisely, find a source of income that will not harm your nerves, and so Further.

2. Get rid of templates

Our beliefs can be both our main advantage and a serious obstacle. When there are a lot of limiting installations in the head, completely unleash your potential will not work.

To increase the scope of control, it is necessary to expand the horizons. Constantly develop your thinking, explore other points of view and views of the world. It will be difficult, but it is an important step towards a better life.

3. Change your mindset

Constant intellectual development allows you to keep curiosity, keep learning and turn obstacles into opportunities. In addition, it helps to expand not only the circle of control, but also the circle of influence.

People who are engaged in self-development understand that this is a necessary attribute of success. They realize that skills and talents can and should be developed. People with fixed views of the world, on the contrary, believe that talent is either there or not.

If you want to set your mindset for growth, start by analyzing your current personal situation. If you do not understand where you are, then you are unlikely to be able to understand where to go. Think about why you need to update your way of thinking and what exactly you want to change. And even better - take a closer look at those who already think and live the way you want. Let one of these people become your unspoken mentor.

If you focus more on the positives, life becomes brighter and more interesting. And as you learn to focus on your circle of control, you train more positively look at the world.