Why You Should Allow Yourself to Look Stupid
Miscellaneous / / February 26, 2022
Stop being silent at meetings and being embarrassed to go out on the dance floor.
Why are we all afraid to look stupid sometimes?
The fear of appearing unworthy, incompetent and strange appears in childhood and, to one degree or another, haunts people all their lives. Underlying this feeling is one of the biggest sources of stress – the fear of rejection.
At the dawn of human history, excommunication from a group was tantamount to death. Worrying about how others treated us was a survival trait, and so it became ingrained in our genes and became an integral part of behavior.
Healthy people not only experiencingEmotional responses to interpersonal rejection / NCBI strong emotions, being rejected, but also build their behavior in such a way as to avoid this at any cost, to achieve social acceptance and approval.
But, like many things useful for survival, the fear of looking stupid can ruin your life.
How does this fear stop you from living your life to the fullest?
First of all, it makes us feel embarrassed, act stiff and constrained. And this is not only clearly visible from the outside, but also leaves a bad impression.
You could say that the best way to really look stupid is to be afraid of it.
The fear of making a fool of yourself prevents you from learning, asking questions, and trying new things, keeps you from fulfilling your desires, and leaves a bitter taste of disappointment.
He also forces you to choose what you don’t like, starting with uncomfortable clothes and ending with fed up with work and boring leisure.
How to let yourself look stupid
If a few thoughts that can help you get rid of fear and allow yourself to do whatever you wanted, but for some reason thought was stupid.
Realize that the concept of "stupid" exists only in your head
Of course, in any society there are standards of behavior in certain situations, but for many actions the concept of the norm is very vague.
For example, few would agree that dancing at a funeral is okay. At the same time, dancing in the office kitchen is generally not frowned upon and can be seen as both normal and odd. Basically, stupidity assumptions are based on your idea of what other people will think.
Notice, not their opinion, but your thoughts about it. And often they are not true.
For example, many people are afraid to ask for advice because it supposedly makes them appear incompetent. Scientists from the Harvard Business School conducted a series of experimentsSmart People Ask for (My) Advice: Seeking Advice Boosts Perceptions of Competence and found out that this is not the case.
When people asked for advice on difficult tasks, they were judged by their peers to be more competent. Especially if people asked question personally, not all at once.
Scientists have suggested that when a person is asked about something - especially about what he really understands, he feels competent and important, is happy to give advice, and begins to relate better to the person who asks question.
Accept that someone already thinks you're stupid and you won't do anything about it.
It is not customary in society to openly express hostility, therefore, if a person smiles at you, this does not mean that he considers you smart, worthy and good.
No matter how brilliant a speech you read, no matter what altruistic act you perform, there will always be those who will not like it. And you will never know about it. And you can't change it.
And since there is no difference and it will not work to track it, just do what you like.
Understand that it does not really matter and will soon be forgotten
We often overestimate our importance to others. Not only do people rarely think about you, they also quickly forget everything.
IN articleYour Fear Of Looking Stupid Is Making You Look Stupid / Medium on Medium, psychiatrist and self-development author Benjamin Hardy claims that insignificant events fade from memory within 30 seconds.
So if your supposedly stupid act did not hurt someone to the core (or did not become another meme), after half a minute only you will remember it.
Your questions, unworthy appearance, stupid behavior, inappropriate jokes - all this will be forgotten very quickly and will not play any role in your future life.
Work on accepting yourself
Benjamin Hardy explainsYour Fear Of Looking Stupid Is Making You Look Stupid / Mediumthat the fear of looking foolish often comes from a strong need for the acceptance and approval of other people.
Moreover, the doctor notes that everyone wants approval, but some just want it, while others have an urgent need. If you settle for something you don't like, don't understand what you want yourself, and build co-dependent superficial relationships, the latter is most likely true.
Often, a strong need for acceptance stems from feelings of insecurity.
For example, if a person has experienced emotional, verbal, or physical abuse in the past. Not sure of his value and significance, he becomes obsessed with public opinion, seeks approval and, like fire, is afraid of censure.
This exhausts a person, makes him completely dependent on others and unhappy in those moments when he cannot get what he wants. And if you feel something like that, it's worth working on self acceptance. You can seek help from a psychotherapist or try to fix the problems yourself, using ready-made techniques.
Just remember that awareness alone is not enough. Your picture of the world, fixed in the interaction of nerve cells, has been formed over the years. It takes long and regular practice to get off the beaten track and form new beliefs.
Read also🧐
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