5 Scientifically Proven Ways to Boost Your Fortitude
Miscellaneous / / February 18, 2022
Face your fears, self-compassion, and raisin meditation to build resilience.
Even the most conscious and emotionally stable people sometimes get lost when faced with difficulties. To prepare for the moments when you need to gather your will into a fist and find the strength to move on, it will be useful to master a few practices. It is from them that what is called stress resistance is formed.
1. Change the narrative of your life
When something bad happens, we often replay it over and over again in our minds. To refer to this process, experts use the conceptrumination». Unfortunately, it does nothing to help us heal emotional wounds.
The practice of expressive writing helps to cope with rumination. It consists in writing down all your thoughts and feelings related to the event for 20 minutes. There is no need to be shy about expressions. The main task is to throw out experiences on paper, and not create a literary masterpiece.
Members of one researchJ. W. Pennebaker, J. K. Kiecolt-Glaser, et al. Disclosure of traumas and immune function: Health implications for psychotherapy / Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology used the method of expressive writing four days a week. After six weeks, they felt healthier psychologically, and after three months, they felt happier.
Scientists suggest that this is because expressive writing draws our attention to each idea separately and allows us to give it a clear structure. This opens up new perspectives that help change the narrative of our lives and feel in control again.
The next step after practice expressive writing - Find the good in what happened. For this, the method of "rays of hope" is useful. Its essence is to remember an unpleasant experience and try to find three positive things in it. For example, you had an argument with a close friend. Yes, it's annoying. But this situation made it possible to understand how your friend sees your relationship and what is your misunderstanding with him.
StudyS. Sergeant, M. Mongrain. An online optimism intervention reduces depression in pessimistic individuals / Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology found that looking for the positive every day for three weeks helped participants become more conscious about life and reduce pessimistic installations. However, after two months, the effect of the exercise disappeared. So, a positive attitude to the world must be trained regularly.
2. Face your fears
The practice of expressive writing and the search for "rays of hope" are ideal for past events. But what to do with the fears that torment us here and now? One of the most common ways to fight in this case is to face emotions. It is suitable for fears such as fear of public speaking, heights or flying.
The point is to try to consistently put yourself in situations that are scary. For example, if you are afraid public speaking, often take the floor at work meetings or say long toasts at family feasts. Gradually do this more and more often until you realize that the fear is gone and you are ready to perform at public events.
The authors of one unusual researchD. Schiller, M. Monfils, et al. Preventing the return of fear in humans using reconsolidation update mechanisms / Nature shocked the participants with a small electric current each time they were shown a blue square. In the course of the experiment, the geometric figure began to frighten people in the same way as tarantula terrifies the arachnophobe. Then the researchers continued to show the same blue square, but stopped shocking the "spectators". The conditioned fear response, which was measured by how much participants sweated, gradually disappeared.
This type of therapy, when we interact with what scares us, helps to change the associations that arise in the head. For example, if we have already flown a plane a hundred times and everything was fine, our brain and body begin to consider flying as a safe way to travel. And if something went wrong, we, on the contrary, will not soon want to travel by air.
Even if your fear does not go away completely, try to muster up the courage and look him straight in the eye.
3. Practice self-compassion
Fears and unpleasant situations sometimes make us feel special. lonely. It seems to us that only we experience such emotions, and others have no idea what it is. That is why you need to practice self-compassion and understanding that everyone faces difficulties in life.
During one researchA. Finlay-Jones, Q. Xie, et al. A Pilot Study of the 8-Week Mindful Self-Compassion Training Program in a Chinese Community Sample / Mindfulness participants completed an 8-week mindfulness program self-compassion. As a result, they noted that the level of depression and anxiety decreased significantly, while the level of life satisfaction, on the contrary, increased. And this effect lasted for about a year.
When stress starts to take over, use the self-compassion break practice. It consists of three elements:
- Awareness. Listen to your feelings without judging or analyzing them. Tell yourself "I'm in pain" or "I'm stressed."
- Understanding that you are not alone. Each of us experiences strong, deep, and complex emotions. Remind yourself: “Experiencing is a natural part of life”, “Everyone sometimes feels the same way as I do now”, “We all go through negative emotions”.
- Kindness. Put your hands on your heart and reassure yourself: "I'm with you," "I accept myself," or "I'm being patient."
In difficult moments, the exercise "friendly participation" also helps. Remember how you feel about your experiences and the experiences of your friends. Usually we are stricter to ourselves than to others. But imagine that everything that happens to you actually happens to someone close to you. Think how you would supported and what they would say. Show the same concern for yourself.
After you start practicing self-compassion, try writing a letter to yourself. Set a timer for 15 minutes and express support in a message to yourself. For example, you are worried that you are not spending enough time with your children. Remind yourself in writing that you are working hard for their financial future, and many parents experiencing the same remorse as you. You can even suggest in such a message ways to solve the problem and change the situation.
4. meditate
Most often, we worry about unpleasant situations in the past or about possible problems in the future. But as soon as we switch to the present, it turns out that everything is very good in our life.
Meditation allows you to feel yourself in the here and now, as well as deal with negative emotions as they arise. This helps not to lose yourself in fear, anger or despair, but to work with these feelings.
For example, an 8-week mindfulness-based stress reduction practice teaches you how to deal with problems through various meditations. StudyJ. Carmody, R. Baer. Relationships between mindfulness practice and levels of mindfulness, medical and psychological symptoms and well‑being in a mindfulness‑based stress reduction program / Mindfulness showed that this program has a positive effect on health, including psychological, helps with mental disorders and chronic diseases.
Among the most effective meditations - a practice called "scanning the body." During one experimentJ. Carmody, R. Baer. Relationships between mindfulness practice and levels of mindfulness, medical and psychological symptoms and well‑being in a mindfulness‑based stress reduction program / Mindfulness scientists have found that it improves the general condition and helps to respond less to stress.
The body scan technique is simple: focus on each part of the body in turn, from head to toe, to find areas of tension. Strong emotions are often manifested physically, such as squeezing the chest or "twisting" the abdomen. Physical relaxation leads to emotional relaxation. In addition, a strong connection with your body and emotions will allow you to make informed decisions.
When stress kicks in, good habits are quickly forgotten. In moments of excessive emotionality, we are often drawn to sweets or fast food. In this case, meditation with raisins can help. It is very light: you just need to thoughtfully eat raisins. First, carefully consider its color and texture. Then remember it with your fingers, smell it and put it on your tongue. Slowly chew the raisin until you feel like you want to swallow it, then feel it go down your esophagus. Do this exercise regularly and your relationship with food will change for the better.
Another useful meditation that can be repeated throughout the day is mindful breathing. During one researchJ. J. Arch, M. G. Craske. Mechanisms of mindfulness: Emotion regulation following a focused breathing induction / Behavior Research and Therapy participants did breathing exercises and were then shown unpleasant images, such as spiders or car accidents. As a result, the group that meditated experienced much less negative emotionsthan the control.
The peculiarity of conscious breathing is to feel the whole physical process of inhalation and exhalation: how the air moves through the nostrils, how the chest or stomach rises. If thoughts switch to something else, you need to stop yourself and return to breathing again. You can meditate in this way for 15 minutes every day or at any time when you need to relax.
5. Forgive yourself and others
Past grievances prevent us from moving forward, but working through experiences, on the contrary, improves physical and mental health. For this you have to practice forgiveness.
First you need to accept what happened, realize how it made you feel and how it affected your life. Then - promise yourself to forgive, let go of hatred and negativity for the sake of yourself and your future.
Forgiveness does not mean that you need to justify the offender or begin to communicate with him again. The task is to find an opportunity for personal growth in an unpleasant situation. Let's say you've been cheated on and broke my heart. Yes, it's painful and annoying. But it is also a useful experience that allows you to learn more about human relationships.
If you still can't forgive and let go of the situation, try another exercise. Set a timer for five minutes and force yourself to generate compassion for your abuser. For example, you had a serious quarrel with friend. Remind yourself that he is human too and makes mistakes. Be mindful of your thoughts and feelings as you exercise. So you will understand what attitudes prevent you from coming to terms with what happened.
Researchers testedA. Hofelich, N.J. DeYoung, et al. Compassionate reappraisal and emotion suppression as alternatives to offense-focused rumination: Implications for forgiveness and psychophysiological well-being / Journal of Positive Psychology this method and it showed very good results. Participants in the experiment noted that after the exercise they felt compassion, positive emotions, and even control over their feelings.
Stress and problems take many forms: psychological trauma, fear, guilt or betrayal. Scientifically approved methods will not only help you cope with difficulties here and now, but also prepare you for the future. With a little regular practice, you will have a whole arsenal of techniques for effectively dealing with stress.
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