How to love your body: 6 ways from a professor of psychology

What do you see when you look in the mirror? Do you like the way you look? Or do you mentally note all your shortcomings: some kind of short legs, and this nose is also a potato? If this is your case, then you are not alone. American scientists have found out D. A. Frederick, J. R. Garciab, A. N. Gesselman, K. P. Mark, E. Hatfield, G. Bohrnstedt. The Happy American Body 2.0: Predictors of affective body satisfaction in two U.S. national internet panel surveys / Body Imagethat 55% of women and 42% of men have at least one complex about their appearance.

Why is it important to love your body

Dislike for the body can take different forms: from small complexes to real body dysmorphic disorder - a mental illness in which a person is overly concerned about the characteristics of his body. People with body dysmorphic disorder often have limited social contact and suffer from eating disorders and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Of course, loving your body every second of every day is unlikely to work. But learning to appreciate and respect him is necessary - this will help stabilize both physical and mental health.

How to love your body

Psychology professor Charlotte Markey believes that there is no universal “pill” for self-dislike, but complexes can and should be fought. Based on 25 years of experience, she has developed some simple tips to help you look at your body in a new way.

1. Reflect on your values ​​in life

We all know not to judge a book by its cover. Unfortunately, we live in a world of beauty standards. In it, it is impossible not to pay attention to your appearance, otherwise others will consider us strange.

Psychology professor Rene Engeln calls R. Engeln. Beauty sick modern obsession with appearance "disease of beauty". She believes that we pay so much attention to external attributes that it simply does not remain on other, much more important aspects of our life. Nicole Wood-Barcallow, a psychologist who works with patients with eating disorders, suggestsN. Wood-Barcalow, T. Tylka, C. Judge. Positive body image workbook. A clinical and self-improvement guide simple solution: in order to love yourself, it is important to pay attention to your values.

Ask yourself the question: what do you want to achieve in life? Maybe professional success is important to you, or are you more concerned with relationships with others? Think about what others value in you? Perhaps you are a reliable friend? Or a cheerleader, without which not a single party can do? These aspects of your personality make you truly beautiful, because we love people not for their attractive face and pumped-up abs, but for their individuality and unique inner world.

2. Focus on your virtues

Make a list of what you like about your appearance. This will help you fight your inner critic. The next time you have a thought: "What thin lips I have," immediately interrupt it with something that pleases you in yourself, for example: "But I have beautiful thick hair."

Try praising your body every night before bed while brush your teeth. This will combine the practice with an already learned habit and make it part of your daily ritual.

Over time, you will get used to paying attention to your merits more often, and your inner critic will subside.

3. Think about the main functions of your body

Australian scientists conductedR. M. Weaver, K. E. Mulgrew. The effectiveness of positive appearance and functionality reflective writing tasks on state body image and response to idealized media exposure among 35-60 year-old women / Body Image an unusual experiment: women had to describe 10 functions that their body performs and tell how this affects their physical condition. After doing a simple exercise, the study participants began to feel much better about their bodies.

Try to make the same list. Every time you feel that complexes are taking over you, re-read this list, remind yourself how well your body serves you, say thank you.

4. Surround yourself with positive examples

We live in a world of information abundance. Social network, television, movies, magazines - all this affects the way we see ourselves and the world around us. But the good news is that we can control the flow of information in our feed.

Scientists call this a "safety filter." You just need to remove from your information space everything that spoils the mood and generates complexes. This can be a page of a famous blogger on Instagram, after watching which you sadly study your reflection in the mirror. Or a show where the characters even wake up with perfect styling and makeup.

Unsubscribe from users who are obsessed with looks and promote unrealistic standards beauty, and subscribe to body positive activists and psychologists who help to accept and love myself. The result in the form of stable self-esteem will not be long in coming.

5. Reconsider your attitude to diet and sports

Healthy habits - this is important, but even more important is how you feel about them. Psychologists distinguish two types of goals: permissions (for example, "I will regularly go to the gym") and prohibitions (for example, "I will not eat sweets"). Practice shows that the first type works much more efficiently, because permission brings more inner satisfaction than prohibition, and it is much more difficult to avoid something.

It would seem, how does this relate to diets, sports and self-love? Very simple. This rule will help you change your attitude towards a healthy lifestyle. Do not set yourself rigid goals-prohibitions, for example, "I will not eat fast food." Reframe them into specific resolution goals, such as "I will eat two fruits a day and exercise for 15 minutes, three times a week." Gradually, your body will get used to new activities and regimen, and diets and sports will turn from a duty into a favorite ritual.

6. Be body neutral

The term appeared in opposition to body positivity. Proponents of body neutrality believe that, despite the obvious advantages of body positivity, it can lead to an obsession with one's appearance. Paradoxically, but true: in an attempt to love ourselves and learn to feel comfortable in our body, we continue to spend energy thinking about our appearance.

The main message body neutrality simple: you need to treat your body neither good nor bad. The value of a person is in his inner beauty, and his appearance does not matter.

Remind yourself often of your achievements, of the love of your loved ones, and that everything in your life has nothing to do with your appearance. Gradually, you will learn not to evaluate your body, but to appreciate it.

Bonus: books to help you love yourself

1. “More than a body. Accept and Love ", Lexi Kite, Lindsay Kite

If you are shy about your appearance and consider yourself not attractive enough, this book is for you. The authors will help you form a positive body image and provide effective exercises that will help you lovingly look at your reflection in the mirror.

To buy a book

2. “Closer to the body. How to stop torturing yourself and start a life without diets and bad habits ", Rebecca Scritchfield

Rebecca Scritchfield is a Certified Nutrition and Fitness Specialist. In the book, she shares the stories of her clients and tells how to acquire good habits without harm to the body.

To buy a book

3. How to Love Your Body, Emily Sandoz, Troy Dufresne

The doctor of sciences and the author of books on psychology have teamed up and give useful advice on how to love yourself in all your imperfection. The book is based on acceptance and responsibility therapy, which will help you begin to properly assess your body and work on it effectively.

To buy a book

4. “You are more beautiful than you think. How to develop healthy eating habits and accept yourself ”, Signe Darpirian, Shelley Aggarwal, Wendy Sterling

The authors will help you adjust your diet and choose the right type of workout. The book also contains many useful practice exercises.

To buy a book

5. Great Body by Yves Enzler

Yves Ensler talks not only about his difficult relationship with the body, but also about the struggle of other women with extra pounds and complexes. She urges not to pay attention to the imposed standards of beauty, to be brave and just love your body.

To buy a book