Invisible Labor: Why Household Matriarchy Is Not Power, But Tiring Responsibility
Miscellaneous / / May 15, 2021
Women have almost no leverage in the family, but they are forced to solve difficult issues that no one else wants to deal with.
What is household matriarchy
The term "domestic matriarchy" began to be widely discussed after a series of speechesEkaterina Shulman: "The Russian mentality does not exist, these are fairy tales!" political scientist Ekaterina Shulman.
We are a country of everyday matriarchy. Moreover, it is so in front of everyone's eyes that no one notices. Mothers of families determine where the family lives, how they live, how money is spent, where the children study, when to make repairs, where to go on vacation. Fathers of families decide important questions: who is to blame - Russia or America, or who started the Second World War.
Ekaterina Shulman
Political scientist, associate professor at the Institute of Social Sciences, RANEPA.
This statement gave rise to a wave of discussions, and each side understood it in its own way. Some have heard only the word “matriarchy»:
Screenshot: Yandex. Zen "
Screenshot: Yandex. Zen "
Others focused on the adjective "household" and resented:
Everyday matriarchy is when you ask your man to go with you to Auchan and buy food for the family. Oppressing. I could have brought them on myself alone.
- Markusha (@Mar_Natall) March 5, 2020
“Household matriarchy” until the first bruise on the face from the hubby due to the fact that the ruler spent money in the wrong place or cooked a tasteless borscht)))) Women are so domineering 😎😎😎
- Mouse outdoor (@usaninalexandr) March 6, 2020
Schulman later notedFamily after quarantine: what happens to the family as a social institution?that she is credited with not at all what she wanted to say.
When you say “everyday matriarchy,” people hear the following: we do not need feminism in Russia, we are already ruled by women. No, this is not what I mean at all. Everyday matriarchy does not make women's lives richer, safer, or more prosperous.
Ekaterina Shulman
Why does money end up in the hands of a woman
Let's start with the hottest topic: budget. Everything here, in general, is obvious if we take into account the averageAverage monthly nominal accrued wages of workers in the whole economy of the Russian Federation in 1991–2021. Russian salaries.
Expectation: the oppressed man does not buy himself a Bentley, because the angry wife demands all the salary, which he will pay down on the eyelashes and the Maldives.
Reality: Income Enough only for the necessary, therefore, it is the woman who is trying to figure out how to pay the mortgage for 30 thousand, feed and clothe four people, and even postpone something.
And this is not just guesswork. This state of affairs is confirmed by researchMoney, gender, power in the household: conceptual approaches; Dilara Ibragimova: "Money and Power: Who is the Head of the Family and Why?": women manage finances in 25.5% of families, men - in 4%. In other cases, there are trade-offs.
The family budget is more likely to fall into the hands of a woman if she is more educated and earns more men. Although in such situations the opposite happens: the wife delegates all decisions to her husband so as not to hurt his ego and restore traditional gender roles. Money can also be at the disposal of the spouse if the couple has been living together for a long time. But one of the decisive factors is low family income.
In the context of limited resources, decision-making on major issues is predominantly the responsibility of the woman. But in this situation, it is more of a burden than a privilege, as you need to make ends meet. Well, women, as studies show, spend a little differently. They are better at saving money, they can cut expenses for their own purposes, spending on children and household.
Dilyara Ibragimova
Associate Professor at the Department of Economic Sociology, Department of Sociology, National Research University Higher School of Economics.
How household power turns into work
All in the same studyDilara Ibragimova: "Money and Power: Who is the Head of the Family and Why?" about family finances, it is said that money management is not equal to power. The one who manages the funds does not necessarily make the decisions related to them.
The woman often has the last word when it comes to large purchases for the kitchen, savings, leisure activities, restocking, raising and educating children. When buying a car and electronics, the decision is made by a man.
Determine what to spend - on buckwheat or pasta, objectively so-so power. And at the same time, it is necessary to remember what is already in the refrigerator, which of the household members eats what and what does not, what dishes were prepared last week, so as not to repeat themselves. More like the position of the manager, who is nominally called the director of procurement, if only he would not be offended.
The zones of the so-called female power only sound cool in words. In fact, to solve, for example, issues with education children, you must first find out what educational institutions are, where are good teachers, when to write an application for admission and where to complain if it is not accepted. Parents' meetings, the purchase of notebooks and textbooks, voluntary-compulsory participation in school activities - all this is not very exciting. As a rule, a woman is also involved in logistics. At best, a man receives clear instructions on who to deliver and where to pick up.
This micromanagement takes a lot of energy. Even in situations with division of domestic laborin which a man does not mind taking on half of the business, you can hear: "I'm ready, only you tell me what to do!" Nominally, this is power, because the woman tells him what to do. In fact, extra work.
What's wrong with everyday matriarchy
The illusion of domestic matriarchy is dangerous in that it devalues real-life gender problems: violence, a "glass ceiling", a gap in wages, reproductive pressure etc.
“What doesn't suit you at all?”, “What other rights do you need? In the family, women decide everything! ”,“ Everywhere - from kindergarten to the pension fund - women! We have matriarchy in general ”. Sociologist Anna Tyomkina exhaustively answered such exclamations in an interview.Women are emancipated, but there is no equality: a sociologist on the gender agenda in Russia Forbes.
Let's take a look at the indicators. Who has more salaries in the country - men or women? Who is more in power? There is no structural matriarchy. About "matriarchy" (in quotation marks, because this is a too hackneyed term) is often spoken about when they discover the "power" of women in the sphere of intimacy or in the private sphere, the power of the mother. In the sexual sphere, in parenting, a woman can adapt and manipulate: "My earnings are lower, but I will dispose of those who have access to children." This is the so-called patriarchal deal - certain women receive benefits in the patriarchal system as mothers, as objects of sexual desire.
Anna Temkina
Ph. D. in sociology, professor at the Faculty of Sociology at the European University at St. Petersburg, co-director of the Gender Studies program.
Moreover, the so-called everyday matriarchy is characteristic of patriarchal countries. In addition to Russia, China, Mexico are at the top here, Japan. In the Scandinavian countries - countries of exemplaryThe Global Gender Gap Index 2020 Rankings - World Economic Forum gender equality - this phenomenon practically does not occur. And in general, the definition of "household" is never associated with privileges. This is what you should focus on and stop wishful thinking.
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