What do people who live to 90 years value and regret?
A Life / / January 06, 2021
Life rushes forward quickly, and in everyday worries it is easy to forget about important things. Therefore, it is so valuable to communicate with people who are older than us. They have already experienced their ups and downs and can now draw conclusions about what really matters and what does not.
What really matters to them
1. Keep learning
In 2017, 94-year-old Scottish woman Jean Miller (Jean Miller) in an interview with The Guardian notedthat getting new knowledge is important no matter how old you are - 9 or 90. “Life is education, and if you don’t learn in the process, it’s bad,” she said. "Over time, I learned to look at things differently."
Jean said that she goes to sports, enrolled in German courses, and also became a participant in the "University of the Third Age" program. This is an international movement for old peoplethat helps them learn and do something fun together. For example, Jin participates in a drama club. She says that it is the constant search for new knowledge and experiences that makes life rich and helps to still feel young.
2. Nice dinner with friends and family
We are often so busy that there is simply no time to gather friends or sit with family. Although, in the end, these are the moments that we value the most. This is the opinion of 91-year-old Sheila Keating, who in the same interview said: "One of the main pleasures for me is having dinner with family and friends."
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3. Time with children
In 2018, the writer Lydia Sohn took interview in people over 90. According to her, many people called the happiest time when their children were young and lived with them. "But isn't this the time when the stress is greatest?" She asked. Everyone agreed, but no doubt said that those days were the happiest.
4. Be helpful
Krishnamoorty Dasu, 90, said that the moments when he was helpful to others brought him the most joy in his life. This is confirmed by numerous studies. For example, there is evidenceA neural link between generosity and happinessthat people feel happier after doing a generous act. It is these moments that people of age remember with warmth.
5. Live in peace
The advice you hear most often is to value time with loved ones and not get lost constantly at work. For example, Don Anderson, 99, said the key to happiness is finding a quiet job. “The main lesson is to live in a measured and relaxed way, not to rush too much and not to worry too much about different reasons,” he added.
6. Help others
Many people said that work was not the most important thing. But those whose work truly influenced the lives of others remember it fondly. For example, Howard Howie, 90, who worked as a firefighter. “I remember guys how we worked together to save lives, save homes, save each other. We were a team ", - is talking he.
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7. Celebrate for no reason
We are used to celebrating only specific dates: holidays, birthdays, anniversaries. But when people remember their favorite moments, they don't care what was a party, - the emotions were captured. how said 100-year-old Ruth in 2011, "Don't Look at the Calendar, Make Every Day a Holiday."
8. Learn about your origins
93-year-old Laurie L. (Lori L.) from Florida notedthat one of the most joyful feelings for her was to learn her own story. Laurie was adopted because her mother was very young and could not take care of her. The girl grew up on a farm in North Dakota. And now Laurie strongly advises others to study your family historystarting with grandparents.
What they regret
1. That they didn't love anymore
Preparing to ask a question about regrets in an interview, Lydia Son assumed that she would hear about missed career opportunities. But one of the participants said in response a completely different phrase: "No, I regret that I loved a little."
2. That they did not help their children to strengthen their relationship with each other
Sleep also found that most of the regrets were related to family. Many would like to see their own relationship with their children or their relationship with each other differently. One of the participants said that her children have not talked to each other for over 20 years. “It's the only thing that keeps me awake at night,” she added.
3. That they did not monitor their health
Of course, the person who lived to be 90 was clearly doing something right. But Krishnamurti Dasu, for example, noted that if he could give advice to himself in the past, he would say “support brain and a body in shape by reading, thinking and walking. "
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4. What they didn't start postponing earlier
While few said they would like to work harder in the past, many said they would like to postpone more — and start earlier. Pam Zeldin, 94, would advise her young self to accumulate savings from a young age, "so that you can be financially stable in old age and then not worry."
5. That we sat at home
Pam would also add to her advice to herself “not stay at home, but travel as often as possible. " Indeed, few people regret that they have explored the world too much.
6. What were you worried about
how noticed 94-year-old Betty S. (Betty C.) from Florida, “Remember to smile and don’t worry, because worrying is useless!”.
7. Retired early
Worrying about work is harmful, but losing a sense of purpose in life is also harmful. how said Japanese physician Shigeaki Hinohara, recognized as the oldest practicing physician in the world, “You don’t have to retire at all, but if you do, it’s much later than 65.”
8. What gave importance to material goods
Hinohara also advised not to get too carried away by accumulating things. “Don't forget, no one knows when his turn will come, and you can't take what you have accumulated with you,” he said. Hinohara himself lived up to 105 years old.
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