6 things you really shouldn't be ashamed of
A Life / / January 06, 2021
1. Appearance
People that stylists, makeup artists, and photographers haven't worked on can be quite far from modern beauty standards. And it also happens that no manipulation helps a person to comply with the average canon. For example, he is too big or small, overweight or underweight, non-standard facial features, skin features, and so on.
In a world where perfect people are watching from every screen - slim, fit, with clean skin and symmetrical faces - such a person will feel at least uncomfortable. Especially if it is a teenager or just a vulnerable person.
Yes, the situation is changing, people with non-standard appearance make themselves known, and brands and movie makers are starting to listen to them. But changes are happening too slowly, and someone who is not like the others can easily be offended, persecuted, not hired.Searching for a job is a beauty contest or just reward with an unkind look.
Only the appearance is what is given to us from birth.
Taking care of ourselves helps us look our best, but without surgery, we cannot reshape our faces or resize our eyes. Even the excess weight, which everyone is used to shaming fat people, often goes to us as an inheritance - in the form of endocrine diseases
The Genetics of Obesity, the composition of the intestinal microfloraThe Gut Microbiome and Its Role in Obesity, eating habits and eating disorders.Therefore, if you do not fit into the canons, this is not a reason to shame and scold yourself. The main thing is to take care of your health and observe personal hygiene, and it is not your duty to please someone's eyes.
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- A foreign body is none of your business. Why people have the right to look the way they want
2. Financial situation and income
For people with low incomes, they came up with a whole set of offensive words. There is an attitude in society that earnings and the level of well-being are completely dependent on a person, that it is enough to work hard and try hard - and over time this will bring success and money. And if there is neither one nor the other and a person lives modestly, it means that he is just a lazy, uninitiated loser and is to blame for everything.
Meanwhile, the level of income is made up of a huge number of factors, and not all of them depend on us.
Physical and mental health, upbringing, character traits, financial situation of parents, place of residence, education, the environment in which a person grew and rotated, luck, in the end. Why, even the willpower, which everyone around is urging to develop, due to genetics: some were lucky, and some were not.
A couple of years ago, a social video appeared on the Web, which perfectly illustrates how much we really are not equal. In the video, a group of young people is going to take part in the race, but the presenter asks those who grew up in a complete family, had the opportunity to study in a good school, and did not suffer from poverty to take a step forward. And in the end it turned out that the path to the finish line - to success - is much shorter for those who pulled out a lucky ticket at birth.
This does not mean that you need to fold your legs and stop trying. But if you now earn little money, live very modestly and cannot afford expensive gadgets, travel, clothes, you should not be ashamed of it at all.
In the opposite direction, it also works. If you didn’t deceive anyone, didn’t take bribes, didn’t steal, but at the same time you earn very well - it does not matter, yourself or thanks to your parents - you have nothing to feel ashamed, guilty or awkward for.
3. A family
Someone gets a sensitive and loving mom and dad, and someone's parents are cruel, drink, commit crimes, destroy both your life and the life of your own children.
Those unfortunate enough to grow up in such an environment are often ashamed of their parents' behavior. But being in a difficult family is not a shame. We do not choose parents, and the one who made the mistake should feel guilty, not the one who became the hostage of the situation.
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- When is your family time to stop meddling in your life?
4. Job
In 2018, the DailyMail publishedFrom learning lines to serving the long line! a photograph of sitcom actor Jeffrey Owens at the checkout counter in a supermarket. His artistic career did not work out, and he was forced to go to work as a cashier in order to feed himself and his family. The tone of the publication was somewhat mocking: "From memorizing roles to serving queues." At first, ridicule fell on Owens, but then newspaper readers, fellow actors and just caring people began to write massive posts in support of him.
A similar story later happened to former actress Katie Jarvis: she was photographedAxed EastEnders star Katie Jarvis now working as security guard at B&M Bargainswhen she worked as a security guard at a clothing store. These situations were referred to as egregious cases of job shaming.Urban Dictionary: Job Shame - when a person is trying to shame for what he works.
As a rule, those who are engaged in low-skilled labor are subjected to such harassment: sales assistants, cashiers, security guards, porters, waiters, and so on.
And this problem concerns not only Western society: on the Runet you can easily hear dismissive jokes about janitors, a free cash register or work at Pyaterochka.
Of course, a person, if he does not do anything illegal, does not deserve such an attitude: everyone has different starting positions. In addition, we do not always choose how our life will turn out. And be ashamed honest work absolutely unnecessary. Whatever it is.
5. Loneliness
Single women are called blue stockings and are reminded of the ticking clock and the prospect of meeting old age in the company of 40 cats. Society is more indulgent towards single men, but they are also teased by making jokes about bachelor life and the inability to cook soup or wash socks on their own.
If a loner is in the company of married couples, she (or him) will certainly begin to give advice on how to build a relationship, or even try to marry a friend or girlfriend.
It's no surprise that a lonely person often feels uncomfortable.
Especially if it's a woman. Especially if she is over 35. But the absence of a couple is not a flaw or a reason to be ashamed. It means that you just haven't met the right person yet. Or maybe they deliberately chose to remain alone - as they didAttitudes towards marriage and divorce: monitoring 7% of surveyed Russians.
Find out more🤔
- Why we are doomed to be alone and why it shouldn't scare us
6. Character traits
For example, isolation. Or shyness. And also sensitivity and vulnerability. In a word, any traits that do not harm anyone, but often cause bewilderment and condemnation: “Well, why are you always sitting in a corner and not talking to anyone! Don't fight back from society! "," Are you crying? But this is just a children's cartoon, why roar?! "
As a result, an unsociable or impressionable person begins to worry that something is wrong with him, and is ashamed of his qualities or interests. But it should be not him who should be ashamed, but those who make claims.
Read also🧐
- Why others make you feel Spanish shame
- How to change your lifestyle without bullying yourself
- 4 steps to get rid of shame and fear