How to help your child adjust to school
Tips / / December 19, 2019
For parents, the approach of the new school year - a continuous fever and running around in search of uniforms, books, and other necessities. In fact, the important thing to the child, - emotional support. Returning your child to learning after a break or goes to school for the first time, upcoming events can cause it is an understandable concern. Most children look forward to when the same will come September 1, but some suffer from serious emotional disturbance. It is called separation anxiety.
"It is normal that some guys are difficulties with the first day of school - this is still a new experience, but if this state lasts a few days, then you need to do something about it - says pediatrician Mont Annette (Annette Mont). - Children are naturally curious about getting into a new situation, they want to study it. The child, who clings to his mother, for sure there is a problem, and is often the case in the parents. "
Too much love
If the prospect of a hike to school is your baby crying and hysterical when he looks sad or even sick, blame the fear of separation, and that you can be in the root of the problem, as well as the key to its decision.
Fear of separation is defined as an unhealthy debilitating affection between parent and child, which deprives the latter's ability to act independently in the absence of a father or mother. It works in the opposite direction: a parent, too, suffers from oppressive inability to part with their child.
Director Montessori School Linville Sheila (Sheila Linville) repeatedly observed manifestations of fear of parting, and I remember a case when my mother was a source, and a solution to the problem.
"Every morning, I met children who came to school - says Linville. - Among them was a three-year Jessica, each parting with her mother she ended up in tears. It all started with the mother, she was crying, and after it started to whimper and baby. A few days later I asked Jessica why she was crying. She said, "Miss Linville, I do it, because my mom was crying. So in fact laid to mothers and children cried when they go to school. " I explained to the mother that Jessica in this way tried to comply with her expectations. Woman it was difficult to accept this fact, but in the end she realized that unwittingly forced the child to behave in a similar way. The next morning, everything was completely different: happy mother daughter waved a hand, and she ran with a smile to your classmates. And no longer handkerchiefs! "
Parents are often surprised that the fear of separation can overtake at any time of the school year, even if it all started quite smoothly. Often this is the result of a break in the usual course of affairs, such as after a vacation and holidays, or when the child was sick for several days and stayed at home, surrounded by her mother's care. Some children experience these feelings at the end of the school year, as sad that for a long time not see their friends.
Annette Mont practice over the years has found that parents unwittingly contribute to the fear of separation, assuming continuation of the child himself.
There are parents who cope well with everything, while the child did not come out of the infant, because at this time it is very dependent on them. When the baby starts to explore the world on their own, fathers and mothers are experiencing serious difficulties in order to admit their child no longer belongs to them.
Prepare in advance
New school year - it's an emotional experience that requires a more thoughtful approach than just planning the move from home to school and back. Do not wait for the evening on August 31 to help the child get used to it or refer to his feelings. Preparing for school - a long process that requires attention and energy. Mont advises parents to teach children to separate pastime using role-playing games: "First leave child alone for half an hour, then an hour, and so on. If he knows that his mother always comes for him, everything will be okay. " To find out what your child is thinking about going to the school, offers Mont again role-playing game.
Play the role of the teacher and ask the child that, as it seems, is waiting for him at school. Then switch roles and let your child take on the teacher's initiative. So you can find out his thoughts and correct possible errors.
Ask your child to draw a school day as it currently represents it. Play to school - with homework, textbooks and other necessities.
Children in their behavior is often guided by the emotions of the parents, so it is important to you in every possible way to show the joy of the upcoming hike in the school. A nervous parent unconsciously conveys his feelings to the child, thereby staining in the negative tone of everything that is connected with the upcoming changes. "The best advice I can give to families: the child prepare for school with enthusiasm. Even if an upcoming event makes you worry, reassure your baby that it's all very pleasant, and new friends a fully share his feelings - Linville explains. - Reassure your child that apart from you there's nothing wrong. "
School Introduction
To introduce the child to the place where he will hold for many years, to ease his experience and keen on the idea of study will test day. Visit the classroom, meet the teachers and learn their names, find out where the restrooms and dining are located.
Establishing a relationship with the teacher helps the child to understand that the school he is a man who can be relied upon. Parents such as familiarity helps to get rid of a fair share of experiences. If the teacher they like, these positive feelings are often reflected in the relations between the student and the teacher.
Arrange with future classmates parents of children's holiday, go with a son or daughter for school uniforms and all necessary details, in short, transform the beginning of the school year is now event. Reassure the child that he will be fine without you, and the school - it's fun.
If the first day of school kid still going through and do not want to part with you, Annette Mont advises him to give a family photo or any thing with your scent, and a box lunch to put a note with warm words. The child will feel that you are near, and that it will calm.
In parting smile and encourage their first-grader. It is not necessary to arrange for long-offs: it feels your nervousness and even if relieved, may start to cry. In spite of all your love, in this issue should show firmness.
If the child is difficult to part with you, tell him that you love him, but leave as soon as the teacher will guide him in class.
In the formation of the correct attitude to learning plays an important role and a positive start to the day. You must install routine that does not become a source of stress for either parents or for the child. "May on the way to school in the car playing soft music, turn off your phone and fully focus on the child" - advises Sheila Linville.
If your child does not like school or having trouble staying away from you, do not react to it too badly. Encouraged him by saying that in school he'll be fine. Do not force it, as quickly as possible making friendships with classmates, but rather ask what was interesting today.
Never and would never cry, watching the child. Even if he is looking forward to the new school day, your reaction will turn it into a negative experience.
Significant impact on the ease of transition to school life has a teacher. Teachers can create for children a warm and friendly atmosphere with the help of dating games, joint singing or reading stories about school. Games help the formation of friendships and a sense of community. Regardless of whether the child goes to kindergarten or elementary school, the first day of training is necessary to pay more attention to the importance of developing the child's personality in the circle of classmates.
Education without fear
One of the pressing problems of education - the balance between child protection and overprotection. Of course, it is difficult to ignore the headlines about the abduction of children, but parents who are paying too much attention, broadcast their concern for children. Moms and dads sometimes behave in such a way that the child creates the impression that the only next to them it may be safe. Prudent education - is care without the formation of a child's confidence, without you, he will certainly fall into any dangerous situation. For example, if you are worried that your child is going to spend the night away from home, ask them to invite friends over to an overnight stay and not constantly repeat that you can not sleep with worry.
The constant fear of broadcast eventually has a bad influence on children's development. The child may be suffering from depression or various kinds of phobias, classmates may tease him a crybaby or sissy.
It is important to ensure that all the conditions for a child to developing a sense of independence and self-sufficiency. Give him more opportunities to make decisions. Parents who fail to do so, thereby tell the kids that they are no matter what can not.
For kindergartners yesterday's first day of school - a reason to be proud, because now they have become quite large. Older pupils just glad to meet with old friends. The excitement these days - normal, in general, the state. If you take care of that child understands the need to visit the school, talk to them about his feelings and experiences and meet new teachers and classmates, all the anxiety soon disappear.
Checklist for parents of first-graders
Do not:
- To maintain the excitement of the child.
- Talk to the teacher that the child feels.
- Insist that it is time to make friends.
- Dwell on negative feelings and adequately respond to them.
- Crying, seeing the child.
- A long time to stand in the window class.
Can:
- Smile and encourage the child, accompanying him to school.
- Leave, if the teacher is inviting children to class.
- Putting in the lunchbox notes with words of love.
- Encourage play with classmates.
- Set a calm and joyful daily routine.
Elements Back to School:
- Role-playing games.
- Reading books about school.
- Trial day and familiarity with the teacher.
- The joint shopping trip for school supplies.
- Holiday for classmates.
- Education in the child independence.