7 ways to develop the will power of the Pope's Self-Control

In the early 1960s, a teacher and a psychologist at Stanford, who is called Pope Watchdog, Walter Mischel and his students conducted a classic experiment with children four years. He went down in history as the Marshmallow Test, or test zefirkami.

The bottom line is simple: the children came into the room where the experimenter offered them yummy. The children had a choice: to eat once a sweetness, or wait 20 minutes and get two.

The test results are summarized in 30 years: those children who lacked the willpower to wait 20 minutes in the youth better in school. They effectively achieve their goals and cope with frustration and stress.

Willpower and the ability to postpone compensation, of course, works wonders. But how it developed and strengthened in adulthood? I answered this question himself, Walter Mischel.

1. The fundamental principle of

The most important principle of strengthening the forces - to make themselves more attractive for the future, "warm up" and it as much as possible to depreciate the present, "cool" it.

If you love junk food, we advise you to focus on the long-term consequences of such a menu. For example, repeating to himself: "I get fat, and soon the summer." If you focus on how to have fun now ( "A-ah, vkusnuypirogek!"), It is unlikely that you'll have to restrain himself.

The most important thing in this case - a clear instruction in the case of if you have to indulge in something. It is necessary to prepare in advance the phrase that you will stop yourself.

2. Do not succumb to cheap manipulation

Once you begin to justify himself for his weakness - be aware that including psychological immune system. It is good to protect us from such "responsibility", therefore helping to invent excuses in the spirit of "I was bad day "," I was forced to, "" do not worry if I'll do it tomorrow "and does not allow us a long time to scold themselves.

When you feel that you start again to justify himself, put the "cap" on their psychological immune system, and ignore it.

3. idle strategy

When people feel that they can not control themselves, they try to take precautions: Get out of the house attractive but harmful products, get rid of alcohol and cigarettes, and can not afford to buy more personal like.

But if these strategies are tested without constraining obligations, without a specific plan, they will be as "successful" as a desire to start the New Year with a new life. Therefore always start with a plan.

4. self-observation method

In order to understand in what moments you can not control yourself, get a diary of self-control. This is a notebook where you can celebrate the moments of loss of control over themselves and accompanying events.

The notebook is necessary to fix the specific events that caused stress and mark its intensity.

Sounds simple, but the method works effectively in practice. Forewarned is forearmed. Conclusions of your diary can be used in the preparation of blanks "if - then", which will be discussed in the next section.

5. The blank "if - then"

If you have a plan of action ready in a critical situation, the person is much easier to say "no" to temptation. We must learn to keep in mind a bunch of "if - then".

For example: "If I come to the fridge, then I will not open it," "If I see the bar, then go to the other side of the street", "If my alarm clock rings at seven in the morning, I go to the gym."

The more often we rehearse and apply such plans, the more they become automatic and allow for effortless control.

6. We overestimate the harm

Often it works, and this strategy is to strengthen willpower, as the revaluation of harm.

In order to make such a reassessment, you must read and find out all the side effects of your addiction. Best of all, if you zavedet special notebook, which will write all the trouble that you might face. You will see that insurmountable before temptations, such as cupcakes with chocolate fudge, suddenly become poison.

For quitting smoking, dieting or control temper the negative effects are in the distant future. They are abstract, in contrast to the painful rash or gastrointestinal disorders.

Therefore, you need to reevaluate them to flesh out (imagine an X-ray of your lungs, affected with cancer, and the doctor telling you the bad news), and imagine the future as if it were present.

7. View from the outside

Let's say you break your heart. Many people are affected by this, continue to relive the horrible events, cherishing their sadness, anger and resentment. To the extent that their stress is growing, self-control tends to zero, and depression pulls everything stronger.

To break out of this trap, it is useful to temporarily abandon the usual view of themselves and the world. You should again examine his painful experience, but not with my own eyes, but from the point of view of someone who sees you from the side. You can choose any of your friend or even a famous personality. For example, the scientist Stephen Hawking. Imagine Steven looks at you and thinks, "What is the meaning of his problem compared to the number of existing universes?".

Try to assess your situation objectively and to minimize its importance.

As in the case of any efforts to change behavior and learn new skills, basic recipe is to "practice, practice and practice "- as long as the new behavior will not be automatic and will not be a reward in itself currently.

Be with you for strength! Strength of will.

Based on the book "Development of willpower»