What is delusional and how to understand what is being played with your senses

Imagine: you met someone nice, maybe went on a date where you liked each other even more. And now, of course, you expect that the relationship will begin to develop rapidly. The day passes, the second, the third. Your new passion goes out on social networks and instant messengers, sends you playful messages and generally hints in every possible way that there is something between you.

But it doesn't go beyond hints and flirting. Moreover, a person may even disappear for several days, and then, as if nothing had happened, bombard you with messages. If this is the case, perhaps your feelings are being played. And they do it deliberately. In the English-language media, this behavior was even given a special name - delusionalBreadcrumbing.

What is Bradcrambing

From English, this joking term literally translatesbreadcrumbs like scattering bread crumbs. That is, a person is quite active in social networks and, like crumbs, throws hints here and there that he likes you. He likes your photos, flirts in instant messengers, writes meaningful comments with a bunch of hearts, kisses and flowers.

And you happily follow this trail of crumbs, but you run into emptiness: the relationship does not develop in any way.

Bradcrambing is one of those problems that the internet brings to our relationships. Besides him, there is also hosting, gatsbing, orbiting and other words that annoy the fighters for the purity and invariability of the Russian language. By the way, it has a couple of beautiful synonyms for delusional cracking: to mislead, to play with other people's feelings.

Psychologists believeAm I Being Led On? Experts Explain The Psychology Behind Breadcrumbing & Why People Keep Others On The Hookthat people do this for several reasons:

• You are not very attractive to a person, but he is afraid to abruptly cut off communication.
• He doesn't know how to take the next step.
• The person is already in a relationship, and it just kills boredom with you.
• He's looking for ways to get attention and indulge his vanity, but he doesn't really need a relationship.

How to understand that you are being misled

You get taken on an emotional swing

Yesterday you exchanged meaningful, playful messages all evening, and today the person answers your remarks in monosyllables, with a long delay. Or he does not answer at all and completely disappears from sight for several days, making you quite anxious. And after returning, he again begins to scatter in front of you likes, flirting comments and virtual smiles.

As a result, you feel very stupid. At first, you are overwhelmed by the anticipation of a new meeting, perhaps a slight fall in love and excitement. Then when manipulator stops answering you or rushes in short cold remarks, you fall into an abyss of guilt and disappointment. But as soon as he reappears on the horizon with his compliments and emoticons - and it seems to you that everything is fine.

There is no depth and specificity in your communication

“If a person is so actively flirting, then he is definitely in love,” we think. And we don't notice that this is just flirting for the sake of flirting.

For example, the interlocutor tells you that he wants to see you, but does not make an appointment.

And such communication is often rather superficial. Someone who deliberately plays with your senses is not trying to get to know you better. He hardly asks about your interests, preferring a casual exchange of jokes, compliments and hints.

You are being hooked

For example, they ignore it in the messenger, but like your photo on social networks and watch your stories. That is, they do not disappear with the ends, as the guests do, but are constantly present somewhere in the info fieldby making you believe that you are really interesting. This makes it much more difficult for you to admit that the relationship will not work out, and to get rid of such a manipulator.

What if someone plays with you

Bradcrambing usually appears where the relationship has not really begun, so formally there is no tragedy in this. But the situation is still rather unpleasant: an emotional cocktail of guilt, hope, love and disappointment can pretty much get on your nerves and undermine self-esteem.

If your senses are being played, you have two options. The first is for the brave. You need to tell the person that you like him and directly ask him how he feels and whether he wants to continue the relationship.

Still, there is a small chance that he is just shy and expects you to push him.

But if you do not receive any intelligible answer - the interlocutor will disappear again, start to play around and laugh it off, which means that this relationship is not worth your time and your worries.

Option two - just stop communicating without any further conversation. Better yet, block the manipulator in social networks and instant messengers - so as not to embarrass and distract you with their smiles, messages and comments.