7 reasons why you are still alone

1. Are you afraid of intimacy

Perhaps something went wrong in your past relationship: you were hurt, your partner hurt you, the breakup turned out to be difficult. Or you had a difficult childhood - problems with your parents, difficulties at school.

As a result, close relationships are associated with something scary and unpleasant, you are afraid that you will be hurt again, and do not allow potential partners to approach you. For example, you avoid contact with new people or start a relationship, and then, when they develop, withdraw into yourself.

This behavior could be a sign of counter-addiction or mean that you have not yet relived the past. negative experience. Maybe you just need time. Or, if the situation has been going on for a long time, the help of a psychologist.

2. You Think You Don't Deserve Good

This may be due to self-doubt. You consider yourself unattractive, stupid, ridiculous and uninteresting - and you conclude that with such a set of negative qualities, no one is needed anyway.

So, just don't get to know people, you are afraid to show your feelings, to show yourself. Behave tightly, tighten up. You deliberately choose not those partners that you really like, but those whom you think you deserve: "I am ugly, so what's the point of even looking towards handsome men?"

The problem is that few of us are able to truly look at ourselves through the eyes of others.

Our perception of ourselves is distorted by negative experiences, attitudes and cognitive traps. There is a good chance that others see you as a charismatic, attractive, and intelligent person. But you will only know about this if you get out of your shell and try to communicate with someone you like.

3. You idealize relationships

Let's say you think that they should develop according to a strictly defined scenario - like in books or movies. Beautiful dates, flowers and gifts, common views, after the second meeting, kiss, after the fifteenth, move in, after a year of relationship get to know your parents and start planning a wedding. And so on and so forth.

And if something does not go according to plan (for example, you different views some question or partner takes longer to move to the next level of relationship), it confuses you. You get upset and doubts begin to plague you.

But there is no universal plot of ideal relationships, because living people with their own interests and needs participate in them.

It is worth accepting from the very beginning that reality may not correspond to a flawless fictional picture. However, this, of course, does not apply to those cases when the partner does something that is absolutely unpleasant for you, or hurts.

4. You are too demanding

Want to meet the perfect superman, no flaws, and don't agree for less. He must look a certain way (down to eye color, finger shape or waist size), have a clear list of interests, and earn a specific amount.

Yes, to choose a partner according to the desired criteria - naturally, no one wants to be near a person he does not like. But, first of all, these requests must be realistic: “looks impeccable, but at the same time does not spend money on hairdressers and cosmetologists” is not such. As well as "earns great and at the same time never stays at work."

And secondly, being demanding is not the same as finding fault with trifles: “well, no, you can't meet a person who is wrong puts commas».

5. Do you dream of meeting your soul mate

The myth is very romantic, but, unfortunately, it can leave you alone. Believing in this idea, we are waiting for some kind of sign from above, love at first sight, flawless and harmonious relationships without a single disagreement.

And as a result, we miss out on interesting people with whom we could be happy.

It is important to remember that the story is about halves of everything only a beautiful fairy tale and any relationship sometimes needs to be worked on.

6. You're rushing things too quickly

Having barely met a person, you are already planning a life together, a wedding and children. From the first meetings, insist on physical intimacy. After a couple of weeks of relationship, drag your passion to meet your parents, declare your love and demand a return confession. Such pressure can scare a person, and the relationship will end without really starting.

It is important to listen to your partner, not to put pressure on him and move with him at the same pace. And at the same time, analyze what makes you force the situation: maybe it is not the person that is important to you, but the status of the relationship. Or you are not confident in yourself and are afraid that if you do not bind your partner as soon as possible, he will leave you. Perhaps, if you deal with such your attitudes, the relationship will be calmer and more harmonious.

7. You need a relationship for a relationship.

Because “you are already 30, the clock is ticking, all your friends have been married». Or "it's time to settle down, a serious man needs a family, that you walk around as a bean." If a person is alone, he is not, no, yes, and thoughts come to him that something is wrong with him and everyone must have a couple.

He can really be bored and lonely - and in an attempt to fill this void, he rushes to look for someone “just to be”.

This approach is somewhat reminiscent of a relationship of convenience. Perhaps they are suitable for someone, but certainly not for everyone: it will be difficult to get along with a person if he is needed only for show and there are no special feelings for him. And all this can end in resentment, disappointment and an ugly breakup. Therefore, it is better to enter into a relationship when you are completely ready for it.