4 Council of former drunks to help engage with alcohol and do not run wild

Tell your friends that you throw to drink, sometimes more difficult than to give up alcohol. Be sober - a decision that will affect not only your health and emotional well-being. It will change your social life. Throughout my life, alcohol has been an integral part of all meetings from family dinners and weddings to birthdays and barbecues.

Only when I stopped drinking, I realized how many social events revolve around drinking.

Or so it was just me, a drunkard, whose social world revolved around alcohol. I drank too much, and it affects my relationships and career, sucks the life out of me. And that's why I stopped. Throwing a drink, I had no idea what to expect, and feared the worst.

After seven months of sobriety I still try to avoid places where there is alcohol. And it's not in temptation. I just no longer interesting to watch others get drunk. During these months, I learned something and I want to give some advice.

1. Do not expect that everything will remain the same

Your social life will change, but it's good, because you, too, will change. The turning point for me was the acceptance that it is a significant step and I can not hide it from others. I recovered from one of the most heavy dependency the world has moved from the status of a drunk man at a party to a position almost the only sober. Of course, this global change.

2. Know that confidence will grow with time

Previously, alcohol assured me security in any situation that requires contact with people. Holidays, family gatherings, business meetings create discomfort. With regard to the sober meeting, the very thought of it scares me so far, although I met the groom before the quit drinking.

As a result, the fear of losing this security was my main reason not to stop drinking. I will not lie, it was disturbing at social events in the early days of sobriety. And I had to pretend that everything is in order. But confidence in the correctness of my decision is growing every day, and I feel calmer.

3. Trust your friends

Avoiding alcohol can affect the friendship. Some friends had time to adjust to my new lifestyle. Some were gone, and it was not a problem. I think the situation with alcohol only accelerated the gap, which is already brewing. But real friends were with me when I was disconnected at parties, I was sick in the taxi. They stayed with me now.

In addition, I make new friendships. Because without a hangover and pyanok I had time yogaSwimming, blogs. An expert on clinical dependencies John Mendelsohn calls it a "new social world where drinking - is not the only goal of the party."

Dinners, corporate parties and any clearly alcohol-related events can be a problem for people who have found sobriety. Therefore, you need a plan if you are going to visit them.

John Mendelsohn, an expert in clinical relationships

Mendelssohn advised to wear their soft drinks. I'm always with you pink lemonade or ginger beer, which lie in the glove compartment of the car. You can also take a non-drinker ally.

4. Have a backup plan

It is better to predict in advance how big a risk to break. And if there is such a possibility, it is necessary to abandon the visiting party. So says Mark Uillenbring, who led the research department of the National Institute for the Study of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism from 2004 to 2009. And in any case, must be ready to plan "evacuation", if suddenly something goes wrong. "If you feel that you are about to frustrate, - go away. There is nothing good in checking the strength of will "- he said.

Uillenbring advises to prepare answers in case you are asked why you do not drink. For example, you can say that you feel better when you do not drink alcohol. If this does not help, and friends put pressure on you and insist on drinking, you should consider whether you need these relationships.

For many people, abstinence is the norm. They make friends because of similar interests. If your social group built around alcohol, it can be difficult to be recognized for behaviorNot practiced by its members. People who meditate on a sober way of life are likely to find a more suitable company.

Mark Uillenbring, an expert on alcohol addiction

Sometimes you just stay at home and focus on yourself. The only teetotal person I know in real life, told me: "The only conversation that you really need - it is a conversation with yourself." And it is necessary to remember those who are just coming out on the road of sobriety.

see also

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