Life - the pain, because you did not choose happiness

If only in your life has been more good you would be happy. It sounds simple and logical: first, to improve their lives, and then you will be happy.

But not all so simple. When it comes to emotions, It works the other way around.

Happiness in spite of circumstances

We watch a documentary about Mongolian nomads. They show how happy they are to maintain such a lifestyle to live in tents and drink mare's milk.

We think, "Aha, I am unhappy, because I do not drink mare's milk!" Or "capitalism is to blame, it is necessary to drop everything and go roaming in Mongolia." But the essence of this movie is that the Mongolian nomads happy because this lifestyle. They are happy in spite of it.

We should not wait for something or trying to create circumstances in which we will be happy. We can be happy right now, despite the circumstances that surround us. After all, no matter what your circumstances, if you choose happiness.

And just like happiness, you can choose a life without stress and negative reaction to any event.

Fear and guilt - poor motivation

Here is an example. Man creates a to-do list, and can not perform some of his points. He gets nervous, afraid that other people will know that it is not achieving its objectives, feels guilty.

To get rid of these emotions and to feel good again, he decides in whatever was to perform business from the list. He decides to go to bed later and get up earlier, regrets that he did not have the time... and still do not copes with all tasks.

Even if he does have something to do, he does not pay attention to these small achievements, while continuing to concentrate on the heap just undone and increasingly feeling like a failure.

That's the problem. If you feel like a failure, you are acting like a loser. No matter how good you want to be, what the bar set for yourself in different areas of life: if you think you lose, so be it.

Self-perception - it is fate.

Nathaniel Branden (Nathaniel Branden), writer

Trying to motivate yourself with guilt or fear will not help you succeed. Before you do something, you need to get rid of negative thoughts, convince yourself that you can that everything will turn out. If you feel good and believe in yourself, You will have good results. If you feel like a failure, you are just waiting for failures.

You are not a puppet

The way you feel is not determined by the outside world. You can go from sadness to gaiety, seeing as you have done. Suddenly to get rid of fear and guilt, and start having fun, remembering everything, for what you are grateful for.

Agree to change their beliefs only once, and your world will change.

In the book, Malcolm Gladwell (Malcolm Gladwell) «David and Goliath. As outsiders winning favorites"Describes the study, which was attended by students from the elite and ordinary colleges.

You might think that even poor students studying in an elite college, be educated and intelligent students of regular education. But research has shown that it is not.

Students who learn well in a normal college, cope with problems better than the poor and middle elite college students.

So, if you are the best in a regular classroom, you are much more likely to be successful in life than if you are in a middling elite institution. Better to be a big fish in a small pond than a small or even medium fish in a big.

Confidence in what you do best, it is much more important than whether it is in fact so. At least at the beginning.

When you think you're doing something good, you are doing this more often, have more fun and are not afraid of obstacles. So what do you do all these things, until you get really good results.

If you think you are doing something bad, you lower your arms too early, give up, and never will achieve success in this business, even if you had a lot of potential.

What if you set a negative

No matter what you want to achieve: to become the best in the world of strippers, or cease to be a failure on the job, the first thing you need to do - to convince yourself that you can do it. Or even that you are good in this case.

And you need to stop thinking that the ability to complete the task depends on your value as a person. Realize that you are able to accomplish this task, and success only once again highlight your value.

Everyone experiences it

This is normal - to experience such feelings, wait until happiness and confirmation of self-worth. We all live so only occasionally notice it, we want to change and forget again.

You said that the work is done perfectly, and you will immediately feel a professional craftsman, but five minutes ago doubted whether it is worth it to someone to show.

But it's other people's opinions, and yet his mind works just as well. So why not please yourself a good opinion of yourself more often (if you can not do it all the time)?

If you start to feel that you are a loser, urgently take steps to feel cool.

For example, make a list of his victories:

• I woke up on time. Well done.
• I did not plan to eat sweets after dinner and did not eat. Cool.
• I walked 20 minutes, as he wanted. Fine.
• I wrote a cool post. Applause me.

Each item makes you feel better, and with each new achievement you become more and more confident in itself. This means that you actually get more power and opportunities to do something.

To consolidate the positive effect, try to write a list made by the Minister instead of a list of cases that need to be done. So you make sure that you have achieved a lot and continues to make every day, and you conceived marks.

Your productivity and quality of life depend on what you think about it. So, if you do not get better, then you just do not think you are better.

If your life - pain, it means you have not selected happiness.